Hi everyone,
I have had panic/anxiety for a few months and I really HATE my job, which is one of the reasons my anxiety/stress/ and panic attacks got so bad. I am trying to decide when to quit and put in my notice and do something fulfilling...I want to get certified to teach yoga. However, the other day I called my Mom and was hesitant to do so, she wrote me an e-mail this morning that really sums up a lot and offers so much inspiration. I wanted to share this with all of you in hopes that you could take something away from it and follow YOUR passion!
Some things will be about her life-which you obviously don't know about, but bear with it and take away the message:
Hi Sweetheart,
I hope I can explain this clearly - it's about putting in your notice at work;
When you work in a situation that isn't in keeping with who you are and who your spirit needs you to be it prevents you from growing. If you stay in that situation it becomes impossible to attract positive energy, positive experiences, etc because the job keeps you stuck in a place that isn't joyful.
We have been entrained to believe that hard work and persistence doing what we hate is "good for us" - everyone believes this - but in reality, all it does is keep us stuck and it creates a society of drones who never get to experience anything but more of the same. This works out great for the powers that be who profit off our efforts, but it has a terrible effect on the culture as a whole because it keeps the population totally asleep to what their true purpose is. We didn't come to this Earth to pay bills - we came here to actualize ourselves as spiritual beings who just so happen to be having a physical experience. Our culture and our religious institutions have systematically programmed everyone to remain asleep to who they really are. The real secret is, we are automatically supported by life when we are connected to work that we love.
Contrary to what we have been taught, the truth about life is that JOY is the attractive mechanism for everything in this reality. It is a magnetic thing. Joy brings everything to us; like attracts like as they say and this feeling, always creates more of the same.
You are already clear that this job is not a joyful experience for you. Every day you go there and this becomes more evident. While from a cultural and logical perspective "you really should stay there until you find another job". if you understand the Joy principle, it's easy to see that staying in a place that makes you depressed, doesn't make you happy, etc. because you a) "need the money" and b) "are 'afraid' that you won't find another job" sets up a pattern that sends a negative message to the universe. Basically this response, and the fear of lack and mistrust in life that it projects to the outer world INVITES experiences and results to serve to validate the belief that tells you, you better stay where you are. The belief feeds on itself, and this is why people keep doing the same thing forever, even though they hate it.
You hate your job. You would like to do something that is meaningful to you. You are afraid to quit for all the reasons we've discussed, and perhaps because your afraid Drew will disapprove. It's easy to see that you are staying at the job out of fear. With what you know about the Joy principle, what do you suppose this fear of not having any income, and the daily process of being in a situation that makes you totally dissatisfied and uptight is going to draw to you? The message you're sending is "I don't believe I will be able to find another job and I really don't believe that life will allow me to do something meaningful". What we believe is what becomes real for us, so in holding those thoughts and having that attitude, what you'll end up with is a life that reflects just that.
You didn't come here to be a drone. You have a purpose. All of us do. And in truth, your only real 'job' here is to find out what it is. When we get to these places where we are dissatisfied, it isn't us being weak or lazy; it's the higher self screaming at us to make a change.
You will not be able to attract ANY new possibilities into your world if you stay at this job Jo, for all of the reasons I outlined above. When you give your notice the message you will send to the universe is I choose to be in Joy and I trust life enough to know that because of this I will attract exactly what I need to survive. You are basically making a statement that is based on a different more positive belief - one that is fundamentally true for ALL of us; and that is that Mother Earth and Father Sky and the universe itself all run on love and trust and that all of us are totally supported by those forces all of the time. When we believe THAT, (instead of the other more commonly accepted belief) our lives begin to reflect it and from that point on we know that the mechanism that tells us what the right thing to do is ALWAYS the Joy principle; never do anything unless it makes your heart sing. If that's how you operate, your heart will always sing.
We often don't realize that when the enormous amounts of energy that we expend TRYING to hold our s**tty little lives together are released, ALL that energy and power comes back to us. We reclaim it. And it is the most exhilarating feeling in the world to walk away from a situation that isn't working for us. All that energy becomes ours again and we can then go and use it to manifest anything - because the minute we take it back we are saying "I believe in myself and in life enough to know that whatever happens from here on out will allow me to move closer to my purpose."
Do you remember when I used to clean houses? I was doing a million other things too, but I felt that I would not be able to survive and take care of everyone if I didn't keep doing that. One day I was cleaning the toilets at the Getz's and I realized how much I hated it and I realized how much bigger my spirit was than the spirits of the people who's s**t I was scrubbing out of the toilets. I didn't know what would happen on the day that I quit cleaning for Buzz, the Fly Fishing Museum, The Cillo's place, and the Getz's - all I knew was that I couldn't live with myself and keep doing it. Quitting took a leap of total faith, really it was a hard choice - but I knew about the Joy thing back then and I trusted it enough to go ahead.
What happened after that is history. I will tell you the feeling that came over me the day that I finally ended all of that was so empowering. It was an act of respect for ME - and in respecting my spirit enough to know that cleaning rich people's messes up and doing their laundry was no longer my thing. I had no way of knowing what would happen or how I would make up for all that lost income. but as soon as I quit, it created a vacuum.
It's a basic law of physics that Nature hates a vacuum; so whenever we quit doing anything, something else immediately comes along to fill up the empty space we've created. And what always comes along when we have enough respect for ourselves to quit doing something that is detrimental to our spirit, is something BETTER. Because we've made the choice to believe that we can have it, and that we deserve it.
After I quit cleaning, the Books came along, Slim came along, everything began to flow in. It was such a mind blow to have all the people I once cleaned for sho up at my book signings! When the Slim thing became too much to bear, I went through the same process. I knew in April 2005 that I had to get out of that situation even though I loved him and even though I believed that my life depended on remaining in that position. Over the next few months, it became clearer and clearer that it would kill me to stay - I even developed skin cancer during that time, and the cancer was just a reflection of 'how much face I had to lose' to stand behind all the lies and the bulls**t that was going on in that situation. One day I realized I had to end it. It was early September 2005. On the day I called up Katharina to deliver the news, my skin cancer exploded and healed within a week, and Drunvalo called to asked me to come and work at the Spirit of Maat. The effects re; the vacuum were almost instantaneous. It was a frightening thing to do, let me tell you; as frightening as it was, the bottom line was, I HAD to do what was right for Cal at the spiritual level. In choosing my self and my well being over everything else the message I sent to the universe was a loud and clear "I AM WORTH MORE THAN THIS". Believing that attracted the situation I am in now - and I am very happy here, fully supported, doing what I love. If I had kept doing the Getz's laundry none of this would have happened; I'd still be there wiping up their skid marks and 5 books would never have been written. If I had stayed with Slim, I'd have no face and I'd be there right now, lying to Katharina TOTALLY under her thumb, with no Slim to make it even worth it. The fear that I had around leaving THAT situation was HUGE! God my reputation as a person, my love for him, I had to risk so much to walk away from that - and look what happened; I wound up working for the man that put Slim on the map and in essence got bumped UP in the pecking order. I got totally empowered when I made that choice.
So you can stay there if you want until you get another job but my hunch is you'll attract another job a lot sooner if you have the courage to trust life, your instincts, your intuition, and the level of Joy in your heart as the only things that you need to be beholden to. You are totally supported by forces that are much greater than the beliefs that have caused all of the problems in this world. Miracles happen when we trust life. You will be quite surprised. Listen to your heart and know that every time you do you are being guided by spirit in the very direction you need to be going. The job is already there waiting for you; there's an Indian saying that says "Be grateful for unseen miracles, already on their way" - open your heart, get your fears out of the way, and allow the next miracle to unfold. I know how hard it is for you to do this but you will see and this will teach you to trust the same principle every time.
Share this with my dear Drew. I understand where he is coming from, and why he sees it that way. But he's hip enough and smart enough to know what we're talking about here. I have made to choice to support you no matter what happens because I know your next job is waiting for you. And even if life has something else in store for you, I will support you until you find your way, in everything you do. The only thing that matters right now in my mind is for you to have the space to reconnect with yourself and get on your path. I don't care how long it takes; trust me, I love you and will take care of you. If this gets misiterpretted as coddling or spoiling you it is not. I just want you to have the freedom to grow and I believe in you. Believe in yourself Jo; trust your self, the messages you're getting are the voice of your spirit telling you it needs to be doing something else.
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