My name is Ken. I have always had health anxieties, but they only rear their ugly heads when I am confronted with truly scary news or symptoms.
I have been dealing with a slow uncontrollable slide into ill mental health over health anxieties for months. I often feel like I am either going insane or am sure that I have a serious, fatal disease, despite reassurances from loved ones and my doctor that I seem to be fine.
A synopsis: in February I went in to have a tetanus shot. Since it was a walk-in clinic, they insisted I have and pay for a complete physical as well. This included a blood work-up, where I found out that, at age 33, my cholesterol was 226. All my other markers, like HDL/LDL & Triglycerides, were slightly elevated/lowered, as well.
With no insurance and no regular doc, I freaked out. I immediately did research, completely changed my diet, and started exercising. Without the sugar and fats, and with all the new fiber, I lost 22 pounds in a month.
Then the pains started. Nearly non-stop, mild pains. Chest, arm, neck, side, back, mostly left side, but occasionally right. And weakness in the legs. And palpitations (I had a lot of these when I was divorced 6 years ago, and the docs did a lot of tests and said they were normal PACs). And tightened throat feelings, depression, and constant thoughts of dying. Pain, ringing, or partial loss of hearing in my ears rarely, and even super-itchy ears for a couple days. Weird stuff.
Finally, I went to the hospital emergency room in March. An hour, an X-Ray, an EKG, some blood-work, and three thousand dollars later, I was told my heart seemed fine, they'd be more concerned with muscle pain.
I started therapy. They wanted to put me on medicine for bipolar, but after explaining all the ways the drugs could hurt me, I decided to hold off and just do the CBT. Two months later, and the pains were still there, along with occasional weakness, so I went to a real doctor. He prescribed Ativan, which has helped with the anxiety, and which I have been on in increasing doses for over a month now. We also tried Bentyl (dicyclimine) in case it was esophagal spasms causing referred pain.
I have been trying to incorporate meditation, massage, aromatherapy, and just about everything else I can to relax and regain my normal life. This is really hurting my wife and I, especially as we just moved to Florida in January to enjoy some fun and adventure...now adventure is right out. The pains are still there, but they seem less significant (maybe that's just the Ativan redirecting my focus) and this morning I seem to be getting IBS. I have another docs appointment today. Wish me luck.
By the way, this website, more than almost anything else, has been a comfort to me. I stopped Google-ing diseases finally, which is probably half of what got me into this mess, and am 50% convinced that I do not have a fatal underlying illness, mostly due to the stories and advice here. So I can't thank you all enough!
Also, I love and feel at home in Cornwall, England (specifically West Penwith). I hope to save enough money to come and visit again soon (we have tried EVERY legal path to move there, and it just isn't happening) and am hoping the calm and peace of the place sorts me out if I am not already better by then. Bad idea? Good idea?
Thanks, I hope all of us get well soon, and stay well.
Ken
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to NMP. I am so glad that you have found us and are finding the site as helpful to your recovery as I did. If you have not yet done so you might want to look at a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'self help for your nerves', published by Thorsons. This is available from the NMP Shop. Her work can also be downloaded free to your MP3 from the shop. I can not recommend this enough as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. 
Glad this helped. Best wishes.
