Hi everyone. I have been reading this forum a lot lately and wanted to detail my initial usage of 37.5 mg venlafaxine to help anyone else starting out. I started having high anxiety when my son was born. I have no past anxiety and no reason in my past for it. Im pretty clean. I became very irritable and angry so I went to my doctor and got Cipralex to help me cope. I took one and within a hour had a major panic attack (the first ever!) and ended up in the hospital thinking I had gone mad and was a danger to my son and myself.. They ended up keeping me overnight in the psychiatric ward on suicide watch just in case but the whole situation left me very distraught and feeling out of control. The psychiatrist told me the next day I was fine and not crazy but that I would have to deal with these attacks for now on. Sure enough the next night I had another full blown attack which lasted the entire night. I took an Ativan and it made it worst. I think because I was so afraid of taking the drug and having it affect me like the other. Anyways so after that life was hard. I refused any further medication and decided to get better on my own. After all I am a very strong confident person and I should be able to do this. I got a psychologist and went to weekly sessions but the attacks would reoccur and the daily anxiety has been rough. Its only been 3 moths since my initial panic attack but I feel at the end of my rope. I have been brave and tried everything I can get my hands on but I feel like my issue is not in my hands. I need more help.
Although I am scared to death of anti depressants I felt like I needed to try another because at the rate I was going I could feel the depression starting and like my feeling and thoughts were disappearing, like I was forgetting myself because all I could think about was anxiety. I cannot do anything really. I spend all day trying to deal with my constant fear and anxiety. I had to hire a full time babysitter for my son and now my parents will be moving from 3 provinces away to live with me. The situation is not good. The dizziness I get from the constant anxiety makes me even unable to drive much. My life is not good at this time and I want so desperatly to get back to the person I was.
I took my first 37.5 mg venlafaxine pill yesterday after staring at it for an hour thinking how it may put me back in the hospital, make me go insane, make me have a heart attack, make me depressed and suicidal or too agitated and want to hurt someone etc.. My panic makes me so afraid of the pill but I have to try at this point. Also with my panic I have obsessive thoughts about hurting myself or people close to me so I was very afraid that these feelings could worsen. Anyways I felt very nervous yesterday from the fear of the pill but underneath I felt a calming feeling. Placebo effects wouldnt do this as I was thinking taking this pill was going to kill me. I felt very calm under the fear until nighttime when I did get more anxious. I was a little nauseous (nothing serious at all), had a little case of the shakes for about a half hour, had some blurred vision, weakness and more anxiety but I dont know if it was the pill or me. The only bad effect was that I couldnt sleep right. Falling asleep felt very different and I was afraid and then I woke up at 4:30am with rushing thoughts and anxiety and had a panic attack. it wasnt nice but it went away after about 10 minutes, which is not normal for me. Mine last hours!! Anyways I just took my second pill and I am still very nervous and afraid. I wanted to detail my account for others. I would also like to say that I think I would feel any and every side effect, imagines or otherwise because my body is sooo sensitized at this point. I think my anxiety would definitely be labelled severe.
If anyone has any tips for me or can tell me about their side effects or how long this took to work for them i would appreciate it. I dont need to hear horror stories about withdrawal because I am already super anxious and I need this. This is not an easy way out for me. I have gotten to the point where I would risk a lot in hopes that this drug works even a little for me.
Thanks,
Janice