Hi,
My name is Lauren and I have been struggling with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have had panic attacks from elementary school till present, which obviously has drastically affected my life and who I have become!
I know I have a low self esteem as well. Everything I do also revolves around what people perceive and think of me and my family. My husband always calls me Bri from Desperate Housewives, because of how perfect I always have to have everything seem and look.
I am so controlling because of this anxiety... I am married but I dont allow my husband to have one part of the household functions. He is the bread winner, he goes to work and comes home, but he does not see where the money goes and I dont let him touch our accounts or bills. I cant handle the thought of it not being taken care of by me. In my mind, nobody can properly handle our security but myself. I tried letting him do some of our bills and have the bank card, but I was such a nervous wreck that entire month that it wasnt worth it for either of us!
I am searching for help right now because I have so much added stress on top of my original anxiety! We have a new baby and my husband just left for a 12 month deployment, and naturally I am very worried about him and miss him desperately. Since he has been gone I have had that full body pulsing feeling on a daily basis, I cant sleep anymore, and I am regularly sick to my stomach and have IBS.
I am right now in the process of moving across the country (literally, WA to PA) to be closer to family so they can help me cope. As soon as I am settled in there I will be setting up an appointment with a counselor.
Well... thats about it for me! Thanks for listening to my crazy story!
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