ok i am sowy everyone i havent been on for a while but i think you have all now met my very best friend shirley, i know she as told you why i have been a way for a while ..i suffered wot the doctors called a very mild nervous break down, i am ashamed 2 say ended up spending 3 weeks in hosptial as i just couldn't cope at home my anxiety was out of controll and my panic attacks were unbearable, i am now feeling a little better and am on medication which yes is helping me a small amount i am still having trouble controlling my anxious thoughts and feelings and am still suffering panic attacks i have devolped a real fear of being alone and with out my friend shirley dont know wot i would have done she as been my rock even when she is suffering herself, i am having terrible trouble sleeping at nite i lie awake for hours and get up the next morning feeling weak and shattered each day is a challenge for me at the moment but i am doing my very best 2 get through each one, i still cant belive all this as stemed from one frightening nite spent in the er with chest pains wot does outr mind do to us, i am not sure if i told you my partner left me as he couldn't cope with my anxiety and constant worrying iw as trying 2 sell my house as well and i think in my head i had taken so much on things just snapped and i lost controll, i havent spent really anytime doing much of anything i dodnt think i have even really been near the puter something which even surprises me as this wwas my life line but now i am slowly comming back i msut be as 2 day i ahve even found it in me 2 come here and write this which at the moment is an achivemnet for me ...msut admit though shirley is here with me watching me ready 2 take my place when i can no longer type ...she is such a wonderful friend shame the world can tbe made up of more like her sowy thats sounds rude as so many of you on here are shirlys in yourselfs always ready 2 offer a kind word and a understanding shoulder ....well i have rabbited on longer than even i thought i could mange ....shows you how encourging this palce is 2 come and talk thanx everyone i hope your all feeling well i dont know how often i will be back 2 post as i have good days and bad days i guess 2 day is a good one
take care all
wendy
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