Social Anxiety Eating

[Jacks21]

Hey People
I have suffered (although it's under more control now) social anxiety for over 4 years. It started with my first love (which I'm also depressed about since we broke up and im wondering if it was me!).....we were 16.

I just started feeling really bad. like more than nervous with him, like really anxious. his mum made me feel like i was being judged. then i actually started feeling sick when eating. then it turned into being sick (even in public places!). my ex byofriend stuck by me though, and we were together just over 2 yrs before we first broke up (my decision, after starting uni).

I'm not exactly sure why i felt the need to end it. it was a need, not a want. i just seemed to find myself at my uni, yet when i would go to see my ex felt an ernormous flood of anxiety and dread and fear rushing back. we began bickering. he felt distant to me. i guess through the change of uni. so i ended it!... a couple of months after i was plagued with feelings of deep regret and guilt and took the plunge and asked him back. he said yes.

we were then together another 2 yrs or more (till i ended it again!). i really don't understand y. i didn't want to end it but somehow felt compelled to. i think maybe it was just a combination of the social anxiety, my insecurities, projecting things onto him, picking on him... with the fact we were so young, i didnt really know what i wanted etc. i don't really blame myself. but i just miss him so much. and now im just left feeling really rubbish and depression with low self esteem, wondering how things may have been different.

As i said, it seems to have gone now, its under much more control. which makes it even more disheartening really, but then i guess it's good. i have put on more than 2 stone so i guess im doing something right lol! i just miss my ex boyfriend so much. but i can't see it working .

Really hate anxiety, panic attacks, low self esteem. makes everything bleak and confusing and miserable. sorry for being so pessimistic lol, but it's how i feel at the minute.
Any1 had any similar experiences with food? or feel like it got in the way of things? Thanks

[allangering]

People with anxiety disorders are at increased risk for developing an eating disorder. Anorexia and Bulimia are serious life-threatening eating disorders.
People with SAD are not concerned with eating behavior directly. They are intensely worried that others will notice the symptoms of their anxiety while eating, such as trembling hands or spilled food. People with SAD usually have a range of social fears in addition to the fear of eating in front of others, while those with eating disorders tend to report few other social anxieties.