I dont know if i can cope....

[bumble18]

I want to be me again.
I have no energy to do anything anymore, no motivation, no reason to do anything.
The life ive been trying to get back ive recently realised was a load of rubbish. I have no friends, no talents, nothing i can even do remotly well, i can no longer imagine how it is to walk outside without feeling all that i feel, so how can i do it?
I can't remember how it feels to have a whole day of just, life, even if im just on my own doing nothing.
I'm sick of my rituals of how i have to sit when i feel anxious, it makes me look like a fool when i have someone over. Im even doing it now because i cant stop feeling anxious.
I was laying against my boyfriend earlier, sleepy after not feeling good for the past few weeks, and suddenly i couldn't even sit still.
I can't remember what it feels like not to think
'wheres the nearest bathroom'
'what if im sick'
'i cant go that far'
'i wish i could walk down the road to get something from teh shop'
'i wish i could go to that party'
'i wish i could say yes to being able to babysit people that live two houses away'

i cant remember what it feels like to live and its killing me.
Im so trapped in this life and i have no idea why this even happened.

How do i work towards a normal life when i can't even remember what that is?

I dont want to be here anymore
i cant be here anymore

='[

[gypsywomen]

your not alone i feel the same wish i could be the women i used to be it takes away all plesure,kits hard o get throu a day feeling ok have you seen docter

[sandramick]

big hug for u bumble
hang in there things will get betta
sandra
xxxxxxxxx

[pammy1944]

it takes time bumble .....ive been like this for years but day by day im feeling a bit better about myself ..........good luck and hang in there xxxxxxx

[chantelle]

Hi ya bumble - it will get better - try to be positive. Keep saying positive things to yourself and your subconcious mind will absorb them. Not easy, I know but practise makes perfect. Turn every negative thought into a positive:
'what if im sick' - 'I'm not going to be sick'
'i cant go that far' - 'I can and will go as far as I want to go'
'i wish i could walk down the road to get something from teh shop' - 'I can walk down the road to get something from the shop'
'i wish i could go to that party' - 'I can and will go to that party and chose to go'
'i wish i could say yes to being able to babysit people that live two houses away' - 'I can and will babysit if it suits me and I chose to do it'

Every morning I get up, I look in the mirror and say 'good morning, chantelle, it's great to be alive'. At first it seems silly but it does have an effect, after a while, and I repeat it every time I pass a mirror. You could try this to see if it helps you.

This message probably seems sickenly upbeat but I have been where you are now and this has helped me. Good luck and take care - always remember that you are loved and that things will improve. Hope tomorrow is the start of your improvement,

Chantelle