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Thread: Agoraphobia & Funeral

  1. #11

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    Thanks for the info Andie.

    She's still here. So many mixed emotions fused with my consumption of prozac.

    I am happy yet sad. Numb yet in pain.

    She breathes slowly for all to see in the downstairs converted bedroom.

    It's not a case of waiting for a phonecall. It's happening downstairs and me, mr agoraphobia and anxiety is doing his best to stay strong for his mum and she slowly falls to pieces with the impending death of her beloved mother.

    Now I know why people donate money to cancer charitys.
    __________________
    2 Years Agoraphobic. Recovered April 2010

  2. #12

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    <3
    __________________
    2 Years Agoraphobic. Recovered April 2010

  3. #13

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    I want to post again because I feel so awful and i'm so tired :(

    She just wont let go. She's been fighting for about 5 days now without food or water and me and my mum are so tired.

    I can't go in her room anymore.

    I nearly had a massive panic attack last night when i thought she had passed away.

    She's been unconcious the whole time so in a way she's already gone but i'm so scared about her actual death and it's making me ill.

    I want this to end but yet i'm scared about getting upset (i can't cry now even though I want to) and most of all i fear mass panic for when it happens.

    The doctor coming around, the nurses, the undertakers. It's all making me feel sick.

    She's likely to go today. My mum is a nurse and she says the signs away.

    What on earth do i do now to cope with the wait ?

    What do i do when it's time ?

    __________________
    2 Years Agoraphobic. Recovered April 2010

  4. #14
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    747

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    really sorry about what you have togo through now Dave

    Just try and float through all this what is happening around - try and distruct yourself.
    It is really really sad about your gran - but everything to help her has been done by now, so it is not your fault, you have to do do positive self talk

    I hopeyou manage to stay strong

    God stay with you family at this moment
    __________________
    Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is mystery, and today is a real gift, thats why it is called PRESENT

  5. #15

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    __________________
    2 Years Agoraphobic. Recovered April 2010

  6. #16
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    303

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    Oh Dave, I'm so sorry to hear of what you and your mum are having to go through. The only advice I can offer is to take everything as it comes - good or bad. I don't think you can plan how you're going to feel at all - you may even find that you get yet another burst of inner strength to get you and your mum through the funeral. But if you don't, try not to beat yourself up about it.

    Sending tons of love to you and your mum, and your gran of course.

    Wend

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    3,423

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    Dave

    I dont have any more advice Im afraid but Im thinking of you all and you will get lots of support here

    Kaz x
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    ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!!!!!!

  8. #18

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    Thanks everyone. It is helping.

    The Hospice nurse gave me and my mum some good advice today and that's to stop checking on her every 5 minutes.

    We are to eat our dinner and then goto bed.

    My nan will go when she is ready to go.

    While it obviously means trying not to worry about her all night, it feels like half the pressure has gone.

    If she is still with us in the morning then i'll be amazed but she's defying all odds at the moment.

    I don't want to go in her room anymore as I've said my goodbyes so i'll post it on here.

    "Goodnight Nan"

    __________________
    2 Years Agoraphobic. Recovered April 2010

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    471

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    I found this thread last night, and it's such a sad read, i may not be able to offer any advice but i just wanted to offer my support

    I'm glad that the nurse has lifted the pressure from you and your mum, it sounds like just the thing you needed.

    I've missed a funeral because of my agoraphobia and social phobia, it was my mums ex partner. They were together for such a long time and we saw him everyday, she and my brother went to the funeral but I couldn't go.
    I felt guilty but I knew that not going was the right thing to do for myself because I knew that I couldn't do it, and i didnt want to go there and make a scene because i'm hyperventilating, ill, running out of the church ect

    I also knew that he would have understood because he knew how bad my agoraphobia was.

    Do your family know and understand about your agoraphobia?

    You shouldn't feel guilty if you can't make it, you've been there for you grandma and your mum through this time, you've supported them, and as you say, you've already said goodbye to your grandma, so you do what you feel is best.

    Take care xxx

  10. #20

    Re: Agoraphobia & Funeral

    My mum understands and my nan did too.

    Last night was one of the worst of my life.

    Having my mum check on my nan has been comforting for the last couple of nights but as my mum took the nurses advice last night, she went to sleep at 8pm and didn't get up till 4am.

    My mum found me in the bathroom at that time shaking like a leaf having a full blown panic attack. I couldn't stand the fact that my nan might of passed away during the night and no was around to confirm it.

    It took a good hour for me to calm down.

    Me and my mum sat outside for 3 hours talking about everything. she cried afew times. I felt sick. It was dark and we were scared.

    After awhile dawn started to break. It was beauituful and comforting. I told my mum we were going to pull through this. We both went inside.

    She couldn't take it anymore so she went to check in my nans room.

    5 seconds after leaving the kitchen my mum calls out to me. My heart sinks.

    I am prepared. I am strong.

    "She's still breathing! I can hear her without opening the door"

    She smiled and went back to the kitchen to sit down.

    She asked me what the matter was as I looked lost.

    While I was glad that tonight's situation was over, It meant another 24 hours of worry.

    I went to bed at 6am with the comfort of the dawn to aid my sleep.
    __________________
    2 Years Agoraphobic. Recovered April 2010

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