It's Back!

[Elaine1]

I have been debating all day whether to post this or not!

Having had no night time panic attacks for weeks, last night it was back with all bells sounding!

Had a great day yesterday. Went to some good friends for the afternoon, lots of laughter. A glass and a 1/2 of red wine, but lots of mineral water too!

Got home about 9.45pm - so not late! Still feeling OK. Went to bed and dozed off as normal, reading - didn't even manage my plain boiled water, but 12.30am woke up. Tried to settle, but felt my anxiety starting. My legs started feeling heavy, breathing rapid and the urge to get up! Tried to calm down, but everytime I did, the feelings got worse. Got up and started to pace around, back to bed, then the toilet. Kept repeating this, then gave up, went downstairs, came on this site into chat room, then sent a pm to a friend, much more tired, yawning, went back to bed, but wide awake again - this time hubby woke up - now 4am, so came downstairs, put on film and hubby came down to keep an eye on me, eventually fell asleep, woke up at 6am and went back upstairs and fell asleep until about 8.30am.

Where did it come from?

Why now?

Will it happen tonight?

flip, flip, flip thought I had turned a corner!

Cross and frustrated!

Elaine

[Simon]

Elaine,

Pls try not to worry about this too much. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress and this is nothing more than a minor relapse. It won't happen again tonight. I used to suffer with this and now do not get night time panic attacks (although I also went through a period of having the occasional minor relapse). I know that feeling of wanting to get up and pace around all too well but there is no need for it to happen.

I'm sure it will be better tonight.

[tulip123]

Keep going. Just because it happened last night, doesn't mean it will surely happen again. I have been through blips with the best of them and they can die down as soon as they arrive. I've given up explaining some of them, I just have to ride through them. I have to accept anxiety is a part of my life from time to time and that it all comes out in the wash at some point. I hope you have a better night tonight - if not read a good book. Your body will sleep when it is ready.[8D][8D][8D]

Tulip

[desperate]

hey Elaine,

Might just be one of those things!

Try not to dwell on it too much now...

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!

[Karen]

Hi Elaine

You have been doing so well and this doesn't mean you are going back to where you started. It is a blip and everyone has them.

Hope you are feeling better today and have managed to get a good night's sleep.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Elaine1]

Hi everyone

Thanks for your messages of support.

I must own up to the fact, that I got really nervous about the contents of the post yesterday, I almost immediately thought I shouldn't of and was in the process of trying to delete it, because I felt so disappointed, but Simon, you were posting a reply - so I couldn't - how insecure is that!!

Last night was not much better!

Gave up getting to sleep at 12.30am, came down here, went onto this site to help calm down, then put very lightweight movie on, warm boiled water, pillows and quilt - fell asleep to end of movie, replayed moive and fell asleep again - not perfect and certainly not a deep sleep but...sleep is sleep !

Went back upstairs and drifted off again and have just woken up to the alarm.

I know what rational thoughts would say and what I would say to someone here if I were reading this post - but I'm still disappointed and frustrated!

I am also suffering with a cold. Saturday evening it started to take hold. In addition to this on Friday, I took the decision to go back to work as things were going so well, made the appropriate arrangements and start back tomorrow. I also booked to have my hair done today - now I'm thinking - not such a good idea!

I know I need to go back to work and really want to - but what happens if I get there again and it all falls apart?

Even typing this - I know I'm pre-empting the future, something my CBT chap has said we need to work on but ....

Sorry - this looks like a really negative post - and I am an up beat person!

but today I'm back at the bottom of a steep mountain!

Sorry :(

a more sleepy than normal

Elaine XX

[Meg]

Elaine

Both the looming cold and the whole going back to work thing may have contributed to the broken sleep pattern.

Its fine to have these times too. You sound more unsettled rather than in full blow anxiety or panic.

Last night you did better than the previous night.

Hope tonight is better still..






Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Karen]

Hi Elaine

It is OK to feel apprehensive about the thought of returning to work. It is a big step for you and I am sure anyone would have a few restless nights beforehand.

Having a cold doesn't help either.

Hope you are feeling better after having your hair done and get a better night's sleep tonight.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[pips]

Hi Elaine,

Sorry you are feeling defeated.

Don't worry hun it's just a blip. I still get days when i feel i have slipped right back down that ladder like mr panic has put greese on the rungs! We got to get back on it and start climbing it again. Bit by bit. Things will feel better again.

I understand about pre-empting the future I do this alot to!

Hope your cold clears up and you feel brighter soon hun.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X X X

[Elaine1]

A big thanks to everyone for your support - it helps to make a difference. Good news much better night last night, have just woken.

So, now next step, first day back at work today!

Little apprehensive, but it's got to be done!

Thank you all so much - your support helps to make a difference


Elaine (with a smile back on her face! )