help needed am i mental

[balgate]

i have suffered for panic attacks and general anxiety for a number of years but i have noticed over the last couple of years things have got worse, all my symptons seem to surround the same things and are split into 2 catorgories, the first is anything where i lose control, for example planes, trains, traffic, lifts, anything where i cant leave makes me feel trapped and very anxious.
the second is that my wife or home seem to be my safety place, i get these feelings when were apart which seem mad but they are like if im dying how long will it take me to get back to her, for example if im travelling away from home i will keep checking how far away i am and in my mind i will be saying if we both left now i could be with her in 45mins or if she left her work and i turned around we could be together in 1 hour. this is getting to be a problem as my works head office is in yorkshire which is 2 hours from home and i have to go up there and stay over, the minute i leave i get tense and my symptons are irrational thoughts, tenseness, cant eat or sleep, breathing changes, visual changes, it's got to the point where i go to the hotel and when evryone has gone to bed i sneak home and then sneak back in the morning,this means a 2 hour drive back home for 1.30 am and then leave home at 5.00 am to get back for 7am before people get up and act like i've been there all night, this probaly sounds insane does anyone else go through this.

[balgate]

just to add to above, my wife went to barcelona this year for her hen night, and i was so bad i would read maps and work out routes to see how to get to her if the panic got too bad, it was like if i could get to her it would stop, i was prepared to get in the car and travel to her if needed, i also get this feeling if members of my close family go abroad, its like if there in the uk i feel safe, but when they go away i get scared even though when they are here i may have not urge to see them

[katheriner]

Hi, I can totally understand where you are coming from as I often feel the same - I hate to be apart from my boyfriend. I am trying to learn to find strength within myself to fight a panic attack, rather than have to rely on other people to help me calm down. It doesn't always work, but sometimes I manage it. I have just started CBT and I am hoping this will help me - it is therapy to change the way you think, and help you learn the skills to talk yourself out of panic and anxiety.
Good luck with it, and no I don't think you're mental, I'm sure loads of other people feel the same.
Best wishes,
Kath

[Meg]

Balgate,

You are ceratinly not mental. Many many of us have done exactly the same things as safety Plan B's.

My bf texted me once as I was struggling with recovery ' You are never too far for me to come and get you and bring you home ' I kept it on my phone for months.

He never did come - but then I never rang him to ask him together !

It took ages to recognise and learn that the solution had to come from within me and distraction from others was a wonderful thing, but was only that - a distraction.

If it makes you feel any better I drove back and forth from Cardiff to the Midlands every night/dawn during a managers week away....

i need to overcome this




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[balgate]

thanks everyone it helps that people go through what i go through as well, sometimes the feelings are so intense, i gear myself up when i go away and as the sales manager i have no choice, the horrible thing is a few years ago i suffered from anxiety but the going away wasnt a big thing, i actually used to enjoy getting with the lads, i would have a few beers and it was a bit of fun, but the going away got bad at the same time the plane, trains lifts etc all kicked in so i supose its all linked, it makes me laugh 3 years ago i flew to greece and now i get scared being on a bus, what a change

[Meg]

Balgate,

Yes it is all interlinked.

What are you going these days to actively overcome your limitations ?

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[balgate]

i try and push the boundries on some issues but mostly avoid, this is a nightmare because sometimes i would love to kick back on atrain with a good book instead of sitting on motorway and i would love to suprise my wife with honeymoon, only been married 9 weeks and we havent honeymooned (plane fear), and would love to go out eating without being so tense my neck judders, i want my life back so much it makes me want to cry at times, my dream would be to jump on the channel tunnel train one weekend and just head of to paris, god many fears, train, tunnel, underground,trapped, other country, love to crack that one.

[DeniseB]

Hi Balgate,

When I read you post today it could have been me speaking. That is what makes me smile about this site. No matter how crazy you think you are it always gives reassurance to think that there are others thinking the same things as you.

Like yourself I go through the "how long will it take me to get back home/to my partner" and have the same forboding when I think about travelling. (my mum lives abroad and I would love to hop on a plane and take the family to see her - I carn't at the moment but one of my dreams is I will one day!)


Take care,

DeniseB

[Meg]

*i try and push the boundries on some issues but mostly avoid*

Well done for admitting that you do avoid and thus stop you progressing.

Do you think you can reverse this bit alone, as CBT wil really actively push you so stop avoiding and progress can be made.

Maybe set yourself an achievable goal rather than a stretch target to aim for before the chunnel one and really work towards it step by step.





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[balgate]

what you mean like getting a train for one stop ie northampton to milton keynes (10 MINS) then 2 stops etc, i would love to get into a programme, have seen maybe 5 consellors and left after 5 or so sessions, i never saw any progress happening and every session would start with hows your week but then again they were psychotherapists and not CBT, what i need is a plan and to battle through it, the mental stuff i kind of understand but what always gets me is that the physical symptons are real, i spoke to someone the other day and i realised that in the past 3 years i havent had a single day where i havent had some sort of anxiety, whether it been tension headache, chest tightness etc etc etc, i dont think i know how to feel normal anymore and thats my problem i need to learn how to feel normal again, like i learnt how to feel crappy.