working with the old

[Dan]

hi all
i am a home carer which is not really the best job for someone with anxiety but its flexible and the office no my probs
anyway last night went into one of my regulars who has been poorly for long time however now it is clear he is dying and i really dont want ot be there when he does how selfish am i there is not much we can do for him as he is really too ill to move so we dont spend long there however i want ot be there for his wife who is struggling and the family not supportive yet i really dont want to be there i feel soo bad as i have cared for him for 3 yrs but my fear of death extends to seeing a dead body which i never have sorry to ramble but dont want to go back tonight am quiet worried which starts of all other anxiety probs
dan

[Dan]

ps sorry i think i posted this in the wrong place sorry

[kairen]

Hi Dan,

Your in a difficult position, death is a big fear for most people, but when the time comes for this poor man you have to think its the best for him he wil be out of pain and discomfort and no one wants to live like that, you have a good relationship with his wife who im sure will be greatful for your compassion and care that you have give her husband over the years,

A very dear friend of mine died a few years back and it was a terrible time, i went to see her at the chapel of rest, and Dan its nothing to be afraid of to see someone who had passed on, i was very scared at the time but she looked at peace she just looked asleep, i sat with her for a long time and it was a comfort in a way it was not scary or anything bad she just looked peaceful and im so pleased i went,

i know the thought of them dying in front or you is very frightening,
im not sure if this will have helped you or not but i hope it has

take care

kairen x

[alexis]

Hi Dan, I used to nurse the elderly and I always had the fear of actually seeing somebody who had died.. but like Kairen said, it is not frightening at all, you would probably feel relieved that this man is at peace.
I think when it has happened once it will become easier hope you feel a bit better after getting more replies, take care,xxx

Alexis

[Dan]

thanks for your support it does help he seemed a bit better last night but i dont hold much hope
dan