Agoraphobia

[jude uk]

Why does xmas and new year always seem the worst time for agoraphobia and panic????? I must admit all that snow and ice had my phobias starting to peak. But thankfully I managed to keep them in check and got through the festive holiday without too much hassle. over the last few days (like most) I have had a chest infection and heart burn..oh in the bad old days my mind would have went into over-drive and a simple chest infection would turn into heart issues but I suppose now I have been here so many times that I can turn it around and be logical.
I travel by train every week and that has been the stepping stone towards my improvement...I had no choice as my g/f lives 50 miles away, so maybe the push was what I needed. I suppose that and building on what I already know about panic attacks/agoraphobia. There are times when it can be tough and I wont pretend that it is all plain sailing...Getting on that train today was a massive step because I did feel ill and I am stuck on it for an hour but just before xmas I was stuck on a train for 2hrs due to snow/ice etc!!!!!

There is that point where you are just about to freak out and you can feel yourself fighting to stay in control. We mostly stay in control and i always have books papers and a note pad to write or draw on.

Big hugs to everyone that has managed just to get past this festive time.
You may have not made all your goals but you are here and thats what matters.
Here we are with a new year and new expectations....
Lets believe we can do it
Lets take small steps and build on them
Dont lose focus and accept the small improvements

WE ARE FIGHTERS AND WE WILL GET BETTER

LOVE AND BLESSINGS

[teez]

im glad i tried......
i woke up with a bad pain in my neck,,nothing unusual about that i wake up with hubby every morning,,no seriously i have neck problems,,its always much worse in the winter,,i also felt dizzy ,,sick and shakey,,i knew i had to go out which makes it worse doesnt it,,i dragged myself outta bed ,,along to sit on the loo to wash ,,i couldnt manage a shower or wash my hair,,washed all my nooks and crannys so i wasnt minging,,. scragged my hair back into an essex face lift ,,tight ponytail ,,,it was lank but i didnt even care,,by now kaito was whining ,,he wanted his walkies,,cos he starts getting excited marley and willow do too,,all three wont go together so its three seperate walks,,sighs,,i really wished they could walk themselves at times,,kaito fetches mummy his poo bags,,still bounding about knocking books on the floor as he dashes passed me again,,nearly knocking a half asleep shaking mum over too,,how can you be angry with him though,,his just licked you with his huge tongue as i finally managed to bend enough to put on my shoes,,awww you say yup it wasnt you that got his tongue across your mouth,,bless,,shove my old coat on,,crick neck again ouchy,,,walk to back door,,its raining hard,,and blowing a blooming gale, first walk begins ,,kaito does three poo,s nice more bending,,rains runing down my neck and i still hurt and feel really ill,,take kaito in and grab marley who is a nine year old german sheppard,,he loves windy days and wants to play,,his tugging on the lead and try hard to get mum to up her pace from really slow and huddled to slow,,i couldnt help but smile as he picked up a bottle an threw it,,seeing me smile he repeats till it clonks me on the head,,by now i was laughing,,by the time i walked willow my jack russel,,who thought a black bag was a huge monster in the distance and growled and postured at it until it blew away,,he was pleased with his scaring tactics,,and troted head high,,by the time i went in i still had the pain in the neck,,but the shaking had stopped and i didnt feel sick,,i managed to do morrisons on my own,,hubby dropped me off and picked me up,,but i still was able to let him leave me and go round onmy own,,and we went out after,,so im so glad i didnt hide away all day,,and went out