Agoraphobia

[Anxious_gal]

I tried getting health benefits twice and failed even though I have been on/off medication and therapy for years so I do have evidence to back up my agoraphobia.
I think it’s prejudice, as agoraphobia isn’t a physical illness so therefore people have much less compassion for us.
Haha TEZZ your doctor has a wonderfully amusing name haha well done for gone on your own.
NMP feels like home. People here struggle with the same daily things I do.
I look at my friends and often compare myself (anxiety, agoraphobia) to their normal lives.
That does get down when I see other people just having no anxiety, no agoraphobias.
Then there’s me, I feel like a complete crazy person compare to them.
But here it’s nice to be completely honest about all my fears, silly fears too and not have anyone make me feel ashamed.
It’s hard isn’t it, but least we all keep going and trying our best

[sue.b]

Hi Everyone

Carol, you should be pleased with yourself not annoyed. You still made the effort to go out, and I agree with you turning round and getting out of the traffic jam why give yourself the pressure at the moment. Maybe you could work toward going to a place where traffice is notoriously slow so that you get used to being in slow moving traffic and work your way up. It is good that you have soooo much enthusiasm towards getting to grips with the agoraphobia.

Well done Sandra, at work,on your own, busy and not a glimpse of panic. That is really great.

Mishel, it is hard when others seem to have no anxiety and are able to do anything and go anywhere. I would love to be that brave!!

Steph, sorry to hear you are still suffering. How long have you had agoraphobia. Maybe when think that you cant have a normal life, cant go out or cant be left alone you could add at the end of that thought "at the moment". It is easy to feel that we are going to be like this forever. Depression does play that trick on us.

When I was 15 and suffering from agoraphobia, I used to beleive that i would pass or have a heart attak when i was out. I went to see a therapist and after explaining my fears he asked me to stand up, he then told me to "faint" obviously i didn't, he then told me to "have a heart attack" i didn't manage this request either. When I went into shops after that I just though "come and get me do your worst" I never ever fainted or had a heart attack. I felt a bit dizzy and my heart was beating faster, but that was just down to good old anxiety.

I have a couple of questions for you all:

Does anyone feel worse in the mornings and better in the evenings.

Have you ever had depression.

I am just curious, as i am getting over depression at the moment.

I have had a fairly good day. Not as good as the last 10-12 days, I am trying to stay positive and not panic or overreact. Just go that vague sort anxiety, low mood feeling.

Anyway well done again girls. Have a good evening and a wonderful day tomorrow.

Take care all

Sue xxx

[julieb]

Hi everyone, sounds like evryone has had a positive day. Carol you did well to go out in the car and it was a good decision to turn back if you were really uncomfortable as if you'd of carried on and got really anxious it would of put you off going next time. Its always better to try and make outings a positive experience as thats what we remember.
Well i wen to go to the swimming pool and i normaly go in the car with Su as i cant stand going on the coach but she had forgotten her car keys so in a moment of madness i said i would drive if she came with me. this is a massive step for me as i will only drive if i know the person can take over if i panic but today i went knowing that she couldnt! i cant believe i did it myself!!!!! I didi have a bit of a panic when i realised i'd got to drive back to work too lol but i did it and feel really proud of myself. its another baby step in the right direction. well wish me luck tomorrow on my course. you may know where it is sandra, whiston village hall near cheadle? i havent a clue but i'm going with Chris so will be ok. have a good day tomorrow everyone and keep up the good work, im realy proud of you all!!!

[teez]

hello ladies , well done with all your hard work,,i feel we are all coming on in leaps n bounds,,as for having to turn round in the car the fact you were willing to go out in the car never mind go down the road is a big thing ,,never be angry at any thing you do, no matter how small,,steph i wondered,,maybe you could let hubby go out for a couple of minutes,let him walk just down the road,,you could chat to him on his mobile,,let the lenght his out gradually increase,,,i get nervous being in on my own,,but after an hour of palps ,,missbeats and having a go at my self i relax and even enjoy it,,could you arrange to chat to one of us on here or even on chat, while hubby shoots out for a few minutes, we,d all be here for you when the times right for you, At the mo im working on my edge phobia, today i actually looked right over an edge ,,i did feel a little giddy but i still managed ok, even though ive been really tired, sick,and sore after my emotional day yesterday , i made myself walk the dogs,,and even while in full palps,, im so glad i did it now,,i feel better in myself,,till tomorrow ladies keep up the good work all xxxxxxxx

[sb001f8994]

Good morning ladies,
I hope you are all well today and looking forward to the weekend.
Mishel I look at my hubby and he has no anxiety at all and my dad is the same it must be good not to have a care in the world. I find when I have nothing to worry about...I worry!!!
Sue did you start with agoraphobia when you were 15? I was about 16, the first bout I recovered quite quickly with the help of meds and weekly psychiatrist visits. It appeared again in my late twenties and I think it was because my doctor quite abruptly stopped my meds. But I got through it and although I always had probs with panic etc I managed until I was about 33 and I had ten years of not doing much at all. Four years ago my hubby had an affair and it made me see things differently. I 'pulled' myself together and I am now trying to get a better quality of life. My hubby is not impressed that I am doing a bit now, I think he sees it as a threat and he has now turned out quite insecure.
Well done Julie, I dont think what you did was a baby step, more like a giant stride! I am very proud of you too. It is so good to hear this as it spurs me on. Good luck on your course.
Teez I was taught not to see things negatively but make a positive out of it and I think thats why I stay fairly happy! And I do the mobile thing too. I often text or phone someone when Im in the car or just out walking and it takes you mind of your worries, great invention mobiles!!! Brillaint for walking the dogs with the palps, the more we show tham they are no threat they will become less of one!
Probably be back later!
Take care,
Carol x

[sandramick]

good morning
sue most defently feel worse in mornings feel really crap this morning i think maybe it because i had good day yesterday went an did my shopping last night on my own and was ok even when i had to queue but seems to take two days energy to have one good day ! i couldnt step foot in super market this morning daft isnt it ! but agree with all who say only do things that u feel ok with if u push too hard it knocks u right back .
ju i used to work at the sneyd arms at whiston , still help out a bit in fact have to help them on saturday !hope all goes well on your course that is really brave sitting in a room with others .
mishel i too watch "normal " people and think i wish i cud be like them , after 20 years of feeling like a freek it nice to no others feel like and understand me .
carol doctors tryed telling me for years i was depressed but i knew i wasnt and it more than that , yes have low teary days but not depressed !
stay strong all
love
sandra
xxxxxxx

[anxious elephant999]

Hi all well done to you all , ive just walked to corner shop with hubby , but feel really ill now , i would be ok for hubby to just go down the road as its not a very long one but i sit here feeling that ill and scared and in a panic if he goes any further . I do feel worse in mornings and yes i suffer with depression and severe anxiety mostly health anxiety
steph

[sue.b]

Hi everyone

I am right there with you this morning Sandra, it has been crap so far. Hubby is trying to help me to think positive but it is difficult feeling like this. I guess my concern is the depression, i have been told that recovery is very up and down and i have had a dozen good days in a row, but yesterday i noticed a bit of a low mood and anxiety, today it is a bit stronger.

I guess i worry and enter into my "what if" thinking mode. What if the tablets stop working, what if i cant get rid of the depression blah blah blah. All negative i know.

Hope our day improves a it goes along.

Hi Carol, I was actually 13 when i started on the agoraphobia treadmill. I had an accident at school, fell off of vaulting horse in the gym and landed head first on a wooden floor. Knocked myself out for 20 mins, no serious damage fortunately.... well my hubby might dispute that!!

I had my first panic attack about 2 weeks later when at a friends birthday party, which was being held in a cellar, someone fell down the stairs and knocked all the lights out. I can still remember it vividly, just pitch black.
I often wonder if the link was from being knocked unconscious i.e. into blackness. I struggled until late teens early 20's but coped ok. By the time i was 25 i could do most thing with the exception of a few. At 37 after a whole stream of major life event over a 5 year period I dipped into depression etc.
I was put on Sertraline, once i recovered i remained on a low maintaining dose and have been really well for 10 years, in fact probably the best i have ever been with hind sight. I am now 50 and since June have been suffering with depression, anxiety and the agoraphobia has come back with a vengence as it did when i was 37. The trouble is, the depression can be exhausting too so it is difficult sometimes to muster up the energy and enthusiasm to tackle the agoraphobia.

Anyway i have blabbed on enough. Gonna go face the day now.

Take care everyone... you are all doing great.

Sue xxx

[sue.b]

Hi Steph

I think we were posting at the same time. Well done, thats a really good achievement getting to the shop. It is exhausting when you start on the road up, which is probably why you feel ill at the moment. But baby steps is definately the way. Probably best to keep with the corner shop until you feel more comfortable with that journey and then set yourself another goal.

Well done, you were really brave.

Take care

Sue xxxx

[Alabasterlyn]

Good morning everyone, hope we are all enjoying the nice weather today

My anxiety is worse in the morning, by the time evening comes I am just beginning to feel 'normal' and then I go to bed and it all starts over again the next day

Today I am sitting waiting for the workman to come and service our central heating boiler. The appointment was made about 2mths ago so I am hoping they don't forget! We got our new boiler courtesy of the Warm Front Scheme which helps anyone who is on DLA and we got a grant that nearly paid for the whole thing which was good, so if any of you are in receipt of DLA it's worth knowing.

I haven't reminded my other half about the boiler as I am trying to see if I can handle the situation on my own, but I do hate waiting around.

I haven't been out much this week. I did try to go into town last night but the traffic was snarled all around the one way system, so we think there must have been some kind of accident so didn't bother.

It seems a few of us started with our anxiety/agoraphobia in our early teens, there has to be a hormonal reason for this I would think.