I feel sick

[emmalou]

Hi


A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with anxiety & IBS (after umpteen visits to the doctor that is).

My symptoms are feeling hot and flushed one minute and cold the next, feeling nauseous and vomitting, churny tummy (like butterflies but worse), not really knowing what to do with myself when I have a 'funny turn' (i.e. sit down/stand up/pace around). The worst symptom I feel I have is feeling sick and actually being sick. And because I feel sick I can't bring myself to eat and that's making me worse as I'm worrying more and getting stressed about not being able to eat because that is going to make me more ill. I’ve lost over a stone in weight these past 2 months and struggling to maintain it at that. I know I need eat and that I'll probably feel better for it.

I've been on the beta blockers for 2 months now and they seemed to help at first. I'm having a bit of a setback at the moment. The longest I’ve gone without having a full blown funny turn is a week. Woke up last Saturday feeling a bit ropey but managed to get through it and eat properly but since Sunday I have hardly eaten anything. I know not to expect miracles but I just want to be me again. I don’t feel like me anymore, I feel like I’ve changed.

Looking back I’ve been quite stressed for a few months now. Lots of late nights at work and trying to study for exams and complete coursework to tight deadlines. And now me and my boyfriend are moving house (tonight in fact) which I’m finding stressful.

Last night my boyfriend broke down. I asked him was it because he was worrying about me and he said not and says he’s feeling the stress of the house move. But then he said he’s worrying that I may not get better. He’s been my rock throughout all of this and to hear him say that has dented my belief in that I will start to get better soon. I’m also feeling guilty for having him worry about me.

I need some reassurance that this isn’t going to last forever. I hate feeling like this. I’ve tried fighting it and from what I’ve read that doesn’t help. I’ve tried distracting myself with thoughts on how I’m going to decorate our lovely new home that seems to help but sometimes I’m just overwhelmed with these feelings and can’t control them and end up being sick. I feel really tired all the time and lack motivation. I had to force myself out of bed to go to work this morning.

I’m currently sat in work with my weetabix in a bowl with milk on it that’s about as far as I have got with trying to eat my breakfast this morning and now it’s lunch time! I feel really pathetic.

Is there anyone out there who has got over their anxiety?

Has anyone any ideas/tips that I could use?

Has anyone got some advice to help my boyfriend cope with me when I'm like this?

I don’t really know where to turn to next.

[traceypanic]

i know just how you feel sweet and my husband does to... for the past year ive had tests for my heart my head, etc, etc and they found nothing so i couldnt understand why i felt sick all the time? i had the same symptons as you have and i also went on beta blockers but nothing seemed to help! but this last month all of a sudden ive realised that i can either curl up and let the ibs and anxity take over my life(which it had) or take control!
my husband as been brillant, he has helped in every way possible but i think the trouble is he helped me to much. i made him just as worried about me as i was, but the thing that as changed is that at the moment he has just come out of hospital after having a knee op and i have had to look after the kids and the house all by myself so i couldnt afford to feel ill. instead when the syptoms appear i just try and ignore them, its hard but its working[^] i know im not out of the woods yet... but my husband as seen a change in me already. and when i dont feel like eating then i make myself a slice of bread and eat it just to tell my body that im the one in the driving seat hope this helps


tracey

[Meg]

Hi Emmalou

First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety

Also read the links I posted in the other threads for more advice and experience.

Firstly : never mind a weetabix - 1/2 banana with something like a yoghurt an hour later.

Small and often. I used to force eat somthing every hour even if its literally 8 nuts or something till lunchtime when it often gets marginally better.

Active relaxation yoga , Tai chi, meditation.

If you haven't already got a Claire Weekes book - get one for you both

Yes you can get better , take a canter down the sucesses threads.





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[emmalou]

Thank you both for you comments. My boyfriend agrees with what you say Tracey. He said to me yesterday I can either get on with it and not waste my life or sit around feeling sorry for myself for the rest of my life and whats the point in that and I know he is right.

I had a real bad day yesterday and was sick about 4-5 times and ate very little. I think I was anxious cos my boxfriend Alex was going away for the evening and I was scared to be alone. But you know what, I got through it. I went round to my parents in the evening after he left and I had some soup (first thing to eat all day) and a banana. Then my sister and her husband invited me round to theirs to watch a dvd so I went there. She offered me a mars ice-cream which I ate slowly. Then I came home and watched tv in bed before going to sleep.

Then I woke up at 5am feeling sh*tty this morning, tired, sickly & churny tummy and couldn't go back to sleep. After lying awake for a while doing my breathing exercises I told myself I can do it. So I said to myself I am going to put the tv on and watch it for about half hour and then I am going to get up check my emails and then go to my parents for some breakfast. I'm struggling with the going for breakfast bit but I have got to at least try. Come on girl - deep breaths - you CAN do it!

[traceypanic]

im glad i could help, you keep taking those little steps, and deep breaths sweet and dont worry it does get better you just have to belive

tracey

[henri]

hi emmalou,
well done, sounds like you are doing better already. soup's a really good idea by the way, i ate everything blended at first because i felt i couldn't swallow or stomach anything else.
i really just wanted to tell you that i was exactly in your position (minus the ibs but plus a load of other symptoms) just nine months ago and with the help of this lovely website, CBT, reading lots of anxiety-related books, changing elements of my life that were making me really miserable deep down (ie my job), i have managed to overcome my panic and anxiety. it really, really can be done. i still have my moments, but i am finally at a point where i'm not thinking about it all the time.
as for your boyfriend, reassure him that things will get better. i had the same problem and it was frustrating at times, but i found ways of getting my boyfriend to help me, ie, when i felt i had the breathing thing, i'd get him to keep me chatting to take my mind of it. that way he felt he was helping me get better (even if i ended up in tears and just going to bed).
i promise you you'll beat this. go girl! xx

[emmalou]

Well guys, just thought I'd let you know I had a not so bad day yesterday afterall.

I went round to my parents like I said I was. I managed a couple of mouthfuls of ready brek and ate a banana for breakfast (much better than the day before).

Then I came home by which time my boyfriend was home and we got busy unpacking boxes in our new home. We made several journeys to the tip with junk we'd accumulated over the years. This led us into the evening so I'd got through the day ok. Then I had some soup and bread for tea and a build up milkshake later on. We unpacked some more boxes and the house looks a lot tidier now which I must say is a huge relief as the sight of tons of boxes and boxes was just overfacing me.

Meg - Just to let you know I took your advice and have joined a yoga class and start on tuesday. The tutor also reckons aswell as learning relaxation techniques I'll be touching my toes in no time (one thing I've never been able to do!).

Thanks alot for your feedback. It really helps to just be able to write down how you're feeling and what's going on in your life. This website has been a huge help to me to see what others are going through and that we can get better.

I hope to get to the stage where I'm no longer thinking about it all the time. The first thing I think of when I wake up is 'how do I feel, do I feel sick, am i going to be sick today? etc, etc...'. I'm sure I'd be alot better if I didn't think like this when I woke up.