"I wish I had never said that"

[Oranges3]

Do you ever go out with friends/acquaintances, and regardless of your sobriety, you dwell on stupid (or things that you later perceive to be stupid) things that you said? For example, I went out Saturday night... and ever since then I've been thinking about all the things I said and how people probably thought it was stupid. .I then dwell and get embarrased by myself. Haha, I just want to crawl out of my skin! I wasn't drinking, but they all were. Which makes me feel a bit better because then their minds we dumbed down a bit for the time being. With that being said, perhaps they didn't even notice my possibly ignorance. UGH! I just hate feeling stupid and wishing I could unsay things that probably didn't even phase the other people. I've always been like this and it just now occured to me that it is my anxiety/OCD causing me to ruminate.

Do any of you know what I'm talking about?

[Luci-loo]

I often do or think of things I should have differently. This stems from high school when I was picked on by a really mean group of girls- they would twist everything I said or did and spin it out of proportion. I would spend a lot of nights worrying about what I'd said at school and how it could possibly be made to look bad. To this day well over 10 years later I still tend to ramble on to make sure I get my point across.

[heatherbynature]

I can relate to that,

I know how absolutley infuriating it can be, I do it whenever I go out anywhere, I can be having the best time ever, But as soon as i come home i start replaying everything that happened and everything i said, And then I dwell on it, and obsess over things i should have done or said, and things i shouldnt have. I get really annoyed at myself for it. It can be over the most silly thing, Like saying to someone i like there hair, You know? It's rediculous.

I can sympathise with you on this one!
At least you know you're not the only one.

Take care and be well.

~Heather~
xxx.

[JohnLuke300]

Amanda I am a social phobia sufferer and completely understand what you are experiencing because it is what I have experienced since childhood. It is one of the main aspects of social anxiety. But it is the anxiety that makes us think that way. The truth is we are rarely perceived to be as stupid as we think we appear. Everyone who I have admitted to about being socially phobic say they are surprised because I come across as confident, intelligent and articulate. And the constant analyzing the situation that we feel we made a fool of ourselves is known as the post-mortem phase of our anxiety. We try and find all the negative evidence to support our belief that we actually did make a fool of ourselves. And that is the problem, we only look for evidence to prove it. We never actually look for evidence that disproves it because our anxiety causes us to only think in a negative way.

So yes I completely know how you feel and from your post you come across as intelligent and articulate to.

All the best

John

[pollyanna]

Hi

Yeah i do this all the time too, i will go over and over the conversations i have had, and what i have said to whom, and then analyse what they said in return, and what did it all mean ...ARGHHHHH.... it drives me mad. ifeel stupid and clumsy at times, they are probably not thinking anything of it, but i suppose its part of the problem, that we cant really help it, i try when i am stuck in this way of thinking, to say 'stop' and try and divert my attention on to something else, even if its only for a short time, it gets a little easier to do with practice , but doesnt stop me from doing it in the first place.


it sucks

P x

[Oranges3]

Thanks guys! I can't believe how long I've been dwelling on some of these things. I mean, it was 4 days ago and I'm still feeling goofy about it.


Luci-Loo: I am really sorry to hear that. I hated highschool drama as much as the next girl, but it seems like you had it to the extreme. I can only imagine how bad that must of spiked your anxiety. You're in loving arms here at No More Panic!


John Luke:

And the constant analyzing the situation that we feel we made a fool of ourselves is known as the post-mortem phase of our anxiety.

YES! I have finally discovered after all these years that this is what it is. I have had this problem ever since I was old enough to have that "internal filter". You know, the thing that tells you what is and is not appropriate. Except, everything I say feels inappropriate or stupid. I can't even explain it to anyone else that does not have anxiety.

So yes I completely know how you feel and from your post you come across as intelligent and articulate to.

Thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words. I really am feeling much better!


Also, thanks to Heather and Pollyanna. I'm so glad I'm not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!