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Thread: CBT for emetophobia my experiences...

  1. #11
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    See, just keep in mind how far you have come already. Just keep reminding yourself of how you felt at the beginning of the year and how you are now.

    At some point it is inevitable that you reach a point where you think it's all gone wrong and it's just too hard. I haven't got there yet, I think for me it is going to be me being sick.

    I suppose the main thing is that you don't let it get back to how it was. I know I can't quite believe how many years I have wasted and in a way it was my own fault, letting those thoughts run away with me.

    So off you go to watch your video for an hour lol. Asking your Mum to watch it with you was a good idea, maybe ask somebody else who isn't bothered about it at all.

    Tammy x

  2. #12
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    mjh,

    read your posts with interest.

    you seem so much more in control than when we first spoke and thats great news.

    im sorry to buck the trend here but the exposure therapy i feel is the right way for some people, not all but some.

    i use to fear killing myself or hurting people, especially people close to me and everyday i get the images which would make me shudder with fear and i begged for them to go. But they dont go on there own because of the fear. so with cbt and really on my own i decidied to sit down each night and think the unthinkable, really graphically imagine the things i was scared of in graphic detail happeneing, and yes to begin with i was scared sh..t...less..........but after only about 4 or 5 nights i actaully began to laugh at the thoughts, they would wonder onto other odd things....really odd...lol..and id end up laughing. so the next day when the thought popped in...well it just didnt scre me anymore...and it was gone in the flash it came in. its not the thoughts that are the problem, everyone has them, its the meaning and fear we attach to them.

    sorry to ramble but my sister in law has two small babies and she was holding one a day i was there and she looked at my and said wont in be easy to to crush its head??....now if id of had that thought id of gone into blind panic...she just sadi it and then gave it a kiss and shes the most loving mother in the world and would never harm her babies...but it made me think....so we all have these odd thoughts........just no need to get scared by them as we just will never do them.

    im rammbeling, sorry.

    mjh, you will get over this blip, no doubts whatsoever, youve come such along way, keep up your good work.

    andy

  3. #13
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    hi mark

    know how u feel i have the same phobia and i have done councelling for it ive had it for 15 years and im only 27 so thats most of my life and i hate the way it controls me and my life. over thepast year i must admit it has gotten a wee bit better as in the last year ive had 2 stomach bugs when pregrannt. ive been so scared to eat that ive starved myself untill i went to 6 stone i was so ill and thin looking.

    i only put on weight when i was carrying my son even at that im only 7 stone 11.

    properly like u i watch what i eat and i have safe foods that i will only eat andi wont eat anything i havent tryed.

    it has gotten better but i will never be over it and it will always control my life i just have to learn to deal with it and try the best i can to not let it effect my life anymore.

    as for cbt there would be no way i could do that cause it would sent me bk down again.

    if u ever want to talk pm me.

  4. #14
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    Hi Andy,

    Thanks for your reply. I think we exchanged messages when Meg was also trying some email counselling with me. I think reading your words was the thing that started my mind thinking "well maybe I can get better too". It just went from strength to strength from there so thank you for that!

    I too used to have those thoughts that you describe, pretty much to the T! Isn't it amazing, the similarities us sufferers share. I got to the point where I daren't think anymore. This one has been with me for a longggg time though and keeps rearing it's ugly head and in one way, it's good as I don't fear anything else now BUT vomiting caused by gagging.

    Thanks again for your support!

    Mark

  5. #15
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    Hi Nigel,

    I've been speaking to someone undergoing NLP with emetaphobia and she says that it has helped her do a lot more in life after just 2 sessions. I'm not too sure which path to take but if I choose carefully I think I could get this back out of my mind where it belongs.

    The path of events I seem to experience are....

    someone speaks to me that warrants a reply >> what will my throat feel like when I speak?

    That is the subconcious part, as soon as I hear the voice speaking to me my tongue tenses at the back and I become very aware of my throat (the concious part).

    Depending on how I anxious I feel I can handle the throat part pretty much now, if it's particularly nervous I will chew gum which helps massively. If I were to go on and heave from this point and god forbid vomit.... well I'm not even going to think about it .

    Maybe NLP could help the subconcious part?

    Mark


  6. #16
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    Hi Taylor,

    Thanks for the reply, I've read a lot of your posts from the past. I'll PM you.

    Mark

  7. #17
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    Well I have to say I've done all I can, I'm not going through anymore. I tried to use my PC to take random captures throughout my 1 hour 24 minute continual video of people vomitting and I've looked at those and I definitely can't watch the video. It's the anticipation creating the feeling of horror that I get when watching it. It isn't helping that I have a really tickly cough that's going around work which is making me feeling like I want to gag without watching someone stand in a kitchen and vomit twice all over his floor.
    I'm going back to see my therapist to end the therapy and give the material back that I've borrowed and just try and deal with things the best I can. The phobia has turned into a double barrel thing where I THINK the actual phobia is of actually heaving (not sure if there is an acknowledged phobia for that), that leads on to the possibility of the heaving leading to vomiting (second part of the phobia?). I'm sure as time goes on it will die down again but I now feel though I need to move on and not have constant reminders about vomit around me all day whether it be pictures, videos or sounds.

    What do others think that are reading this? Does it sound sensible?

    Mark

  8. #18
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    Hi Mark,

    It seems such a shame to end the therapy on such a downer when a lot of it has been very good.

    Can you ask to explore a different tack with her, one not involving the use of this video which sounds particularly vile and most of us would really struggle with even without the phobia.

    Meg
    www.anxietymanagementltd.com

    Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
    How big is your gallery ?



  9. #19
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    Hi Meg,

    I only had about 3 or 4 sessions left anyway and I'm not feeling too bad now. The only other steps left were the video, me vomiting whilst being filmed by them and one of their members of staff vomiting in front of me, none of which are going to help me. The trouble is with the latter 2, if I vomit once, ok it won't be the end of the world but it won't be nice and as exposure I'm not really going to be able to do it day in day out to make it feel less unpleasant. The same goes for the member of staff doing it in front of me, I don't think someone vomiting in front of me is really going to do much other than make me feel ill and a one off session of him/her doing that isn't really going to desensitive it for me.

    I think if I end things here I am in good stead just to move forward and continue to lead a more normal life. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would do anything not to see someone vomit in front of them who don't have a phobia but if the situation arises, it isn't going to kill me and I would deal with it at the time accordingly.


    Mark

  10. #20
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    Uuuggggghhhhhh

    I completely understand your choice Mark and agree with you given those sessions.

    Meg
    www.anxietymanagementltd.com

    Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
    How big is your gallery ?



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