Im so stupid, why cant I just sort my bills and stuff out like normal people, why do I do it to my self.
I got my self in gas arrears last year and the gave me a pre payment meter with a payment taken from it to cover the debt every week, well the stupid thing is realy expensive but I didnt have much choice as Im always living on a £0 budget.
This stupid meter did nothing but break down, then in October I put some on the card and by November I was thinking I hadnt topped it up for a while yet I still had gas.
I checked the meter which was dead. being an idiot I just turned a blind eye and thought Id just carry on with the suposedly free gas I seemed to be getting.
I knew this would lead to problems but I kept thinking it would stop soon anyway.
Well it didnt, and then by the begining of the year I was realisng the gas supply had kept working by its self for a few months now, and stupid me rather than phone up and fess up, I just try to pretend it wasnt happening. Im terrible at avoiding things.
Well the yearly gas people from my housing assotiation came to check my boiler, and I told them that my meter was dead. I have to by law let them servis my boiler, so I knew I would have to get the meter and gas sorted.
Anyway about the same time I had a letter through quering my lack of use of my gas pre payment debt card, and they were sending someone round to look at meter. I thought great they will see its not working and fix it and that will end it even if I do have extra debt.
Like an idiot I freaked when the doorbell went cause I had just woke up and stupidly hid!!!!
so anyway then I sort my head out abit and get round to phoneing the meter fault line who sent someone back round about 2 weeks ago now. No mention of the debt as its a different department.
Well he fixes the meter says the battery had gone and I still had emergency credit on it.
So we go to make sure the boiler works and it wouldnt light, so now I have to phone the houseing people up to get them to fix boiler. S o Im panicing at this point thinking there going to tell me off or something stupid and be trying to gear my self up to do it.
Then last week I get a letter from the gas company threatening disconection, there was a form or a number to fill out so like my usual style I filled the form out instead of phoning.
Today I got a notice for disconection 1 week commencing the 28th of this month.
My anxiety has now gone sky high and bang, Ive done the old shutting the curtains and hiding routine.
I have such a thing about phones I dont even use it when my mum phones, I tend to unplug it alot too, its possibley originates to me being partially deaf but either way the thought of phoneing a company or anyone especially when I have nothing to offer makes my blood run cold and as you can guess it sets me off on a full scale panic.
I keep thinking what an idiot I am, I know Im going to have to deal with this and quickly especially with winter kicking in as I use the gas for the heating (water I have an electric tank)
sorry for the rant, I just need to get it out. why do I do it to myself, right now it feels impossible.
Reply With Quote
