Hi,
I've had panic attacks and GAD for 3 years. At the moment, I feel like I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whenever I feel anxious or panicky there are a few things, which I've recently picked up and which are really working for me- phrases that I say to myself in my head:
If I am feeling surreal or I have something that feels like a tension headache, I just say to myself "It's nothing to worry about, it's just because my body is producing too much adrenaline and this is the physical reaction to being overloaded- I'm not going mad, I'm still in control, it's just my fight or flight response and all the adrenaline causing my mind to race. It will pass in a moment once I've burned some of this adrenaline off." The same works if I get anxious that I'm going to have a heart attack.
"Nothing is really THAT scary"
Another good phrase is "I can handle it!" Susan Jeffers tells us, in her excellent book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway', that whatever comes our way we will handle it, and that if we don't feel fear that we're not growing. I'm as phobic as anybody, but I don't want to be confined to my small town, afraid of new experiences (that would be depressing!). I want to push through my fear and keep expanding my comfort zone. We all say "When I feel more confident, I will look for a new job", "When I feel better about the way I look, I will go to the beach". But, the truth is that we need to DO things FIRST, and then we will feel more confident and better about ourselves. We're not suddenly going to wake up one morning with a brilliant self-image.
It's about not being a victim to our illness or our circumstances. If we say "It's my children's fault that I'm stressed, they won't behave" or "My wife is to blame for me being depressed, she is so dominating", then we are giving our power away and putting our own mental health in somebody else's hands. You've got to be strong and take personal responsibility for choosing to live with those circumstances.
These are all hard lessons that I have learned over the last three years. I'm not completely better myself, but I'm feeling much better, more relaxed and more optimistic. I've got to say as well that Meg's website anxietymanagementltd.com is excellent, and, even though I've read everything I could get my hands on about anxiety, panic, depression and stress, nothing else has spoke to me the way that her words have. She really hits the nail on the head with explaining symptoms, causes and cures. It's thorough and the tone is just right. I felt a hell of a lot better just from reading that.
One final thought though. Whatever we do in life, we get so much more out if we give 100 %. I've found myself unhappy both at home and work recently because I haven't really been committing myself to either, I've been there in body, but not in mind or spirit. However, since I've made the effort to be more romantic with my fiancee, to plan things together, to communicate better, to be more loving I've found that things have been so much more happy and relaxed....I still hate my job, but I have plans to change things!! :P
Oh, and lighten up. 90% of the things that we worry about NEVER happen. FACT!
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
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