So weary and tired of it all

[peggy27]

I've read lots of posts and realise that i'm not alone with how I feel.
I've had panic attacks a few times over the years, but its always settled down and kind of gone away on its own. I was in hospital about 20 months ago, for an operation, and since that day, panic has been with me, and the doctor told me I also have GAD.
I cant stand it. My mind is tired and worn out. I feel gulity about everything, I question everything, like does my partner really love me(i know that he does) but that alone can keep me awake worrying night after night. Every minor incident gets blown up out of proportion, like paying my phone bill. I was late paying it, and had made my mind up that i was going to prison. How crazy is that? But even now it feels like i'm right, and it could happen.
My thinking is all wrong. I had a few stressful years with divorce etc, and the guilt I carry round daily is killing me. I worry unecessarily about absolutely everything.
Every morning there it is, sitting on my chest as I wake up, and another long and difficult day begins.
I have an ongoing court issue with the father of my child (just contact) and thats weighing me down all day everyday. I worry about that constantly. Its nothing like i'm going to lose my child, but thats my worry.
I feel sick every day. My chest and stomach churn constantly.
I'm going to try ecitalopram again and see if I can get over the initial side effects.
Sorry i'm so negative, its just how I feel.
P x

[gypsywomen]

peggy your not alone we all get the symtoms yu have this is a good site for help

[Bill]

My thinking is all wrong. I had a few stressful years with divorce etc, and the guilt I carry round daily is killing me.

I have an ongoing court issue with the father of my child (just contact) and thats weighing me down all day everyday. I worry about that constantly.

I think this could be the underlying cause to your problems. You have also been through other traumas recently such as the operation but I feel the above is probably the main cause because it's "present and ongoing".

I'm sure having this hanging over your head daily must be creating alot of emotional stress for you. This stress will then trigger your "worrying" because it will play on your anxiety.

When we feel under excess stress which we feel is out of our control, we often feel "trapped" and powerless waiting for the door to open. This feeling of being trapped creates stress which induces panic attacks.

The causes to your anxiety is probably the easiest part to explain.

The stress itself will only begin to ease once things resolve themselves but in the meantime what I would suggest is you don't bottle your feelings and emotions- keep talking and let them out - and learn a relaxation technique as you need to find a way to stop yourself "thinking" too much as it's the thinking that causes the worrying which is making you feel so ill.

Find some respite for yourself by finding something you "Enjoy" doing like a hobby or interest so that it makes your mind "switch off" from your worries for a while.

If you can find ways to stop yourself thinking, you'll feel better in yourself and then you'll also feel more capable facing things.

(I must confess that I'm still in my situation because I know my guilt would affect me just the same and I just couldn't live with my conscience but in a way I feel I'm lucky because alot of people are faced with no other choice but to make changes in their lives for the sake of their own wellbeing and I actually feel people like yourself are much stronger than me. )

Things WILL get better but like most things, it does take time and while things sort, we can only learn ways to keep our minds from worrying about what is beyond our control.