I don't know what's wrong with me!!

[xBettyBoopx]

I'm not even sure what to say really. I know I feel different to how I've ever felt in all these years. I feel like I've lost the plot, but what does that mean anyway?

Most of you know that my precious cat died 6 weeks ago. Well today, I feel her presence!!! But not in a good way!! I have never been into anything like that in my life, I usually poo poo stuff like that but the air in this flat feels oppressive and I feel Lady is here and angry and blaming me for her death!!!

See I told you I'd lost the plot!! I want to go into hospital and be left there, I'm not coping at all with anything.

I have been trying to get a kitten but they are so few and far between here and I have no transport at the moment, although my dad is buying me a car

When I wake up in the morning, my stomach churns and my chest flops!! Is this bad depression or extreme sadness or what?

Anyone in Ipswich area here? If so, do you know of any kittens needing a home? I'm so desperate to give my love to a lil one who needs it

Els

[emily999]

Elspeth, do not put yourself down and think the worst. You are grieving over your cat. Do not rush into anything at the moment until you feel emotionally stable. You need to think about the good times you had and think positive. Just keep your eye out for kittens and the right one will turn up.

[Maj]

Hi,

Yes, you are grieving. Isn't guilt and anger part of that? It's still very early days for you and your wee cat. Don't rush into getting another one too soon. It'll happen when it needs to.
Take care
Myra x

[sue.b]

Hi Els

Your feelings are probably because you are still grieving for Lady. It is still early days, we do take a time to heal. I am sure Lady knew how much you loved her and so would not blame you Elspeth.

It is perfectly reasonable to sense that someone we have loved so dearly, be it human or animal, is around in spirit. Lots of people experience this, I certainly did when I lost my dad.

You have not lost the plot. You mention depression have you ever had this before? It may be best if you check with your GP.

If you want to chat just pm me.

Take care Els

Love

Sue xxxxx

[NoPoet]

I think you're experiencing normal guilt. If your cat really was mad at you, why would she wait for 6 weeks before haunting you? Do you really think your cat would blame you when you obviously loved her so much? I think wherever she is now, the last thing on her mind is trying to hurt you. She loved you as much as you loved her.

[PoppyC]

Hi Elspeth
I doubt your cat would ever blame you for anything. It sounds like you loved your cat very much and I am sure you gave it a good life.
I have 2 cats and I know if anything happened to one of them I would be distraught so its only natural I think that you are feeling as you do because you are dealing with grief. The grief of a pet can be just as distressing as when a person you love dies.
Maybe you are experiencing the atmospere in your flat as a bit strange, due to how you are feeling in yourself.
When I get very anxious or down, I feel like the atmosphere whether it be indoors or outdoors changes and I get derealisation. Its just how I feel myself that makes me think the atmosphere has changed.
I do believe in spirituality but my guess is that if your cat paid you a visit then it would not leave an unpleasant atmosphere. You were obviously a loving caring owner.
I only lost both my parents a while ago and I have had plenty of experiences of them visiting me - maybe its just me grieving or maybe there is something to it...who knows.
Have you been to see your gp about how you feel? Maybe the death of your cat has made you depressed?
Have you looked at the Cats Protection League website? They have lots of kittens/cats needing a good home. http://www.cats.org.uk/index.asp
I am so sorry you feel as you do Elspeth and that you lost your cat - Sorry, I dont know its name. You sound like a lovely person and I am sure you gave your cat a really good life.

[xBettyBoopx]

Thank you Emily, Myra, Sue, PsychoPoet & Poppy for your replies.

I suppose it's anxiety, depression, grief, guilt, lonliness etc that's making me feel like this, like you say, Lady wouldn't want to hurt me.

I'm so glad I can come on here and get everything off my chest, where I know I won't be judged or laughed at and where I know people care. Thank you.
Love
Els
xxx

[kazzie]

Els

As you know Im mixed up with loads of animal charities let me know town you live by pm and I will try my best to help you find a new fur baby....Lady would be proud

Luv Kaz x x x

[xBettyBoopx]

Hi Kazzie

I have pm'ed you, thank you for being so kind.

Love

Els xxxxxx

[kazzie]

Got the pm Els

I will make some enquiries this week

Luv Kaz x x x