sufferer and carer

[Inapickle]

I have depression and anxiety for many years brought on by the stillbirth of my baby girl she was so pretty dark hair tiny fingers and toes i miss her so much.
Time healed some of the pain and i went on to have 3 boys.
Could someone tell me if depression is inhedetery as 2 of my sons suffer too. ( my eldest and youngest )
I'm so scared for them, my youngest who is 21 took 2 overdoses this year..
my eldest took 1, he lives with me i found him in the morning with the empty tablet bottle thank God they made a good recovery.
This morning my eldest walked into the kitchen and said mum when your ready we should go i asked where and he said to a better place, i told him not to talk like that and went up stairs and sobbed my heart out.
When depression lifts for a while they are the loveliest of young men out going and kind and i wish as a mother i could take there depression away, does anyone know what i can do, im full of anxiety and feel sick with worry.
My youngest is on mirtazapine but my other son says minds can heal themselves ( i don't think so )

[Bill]

I guess you could say I'm both a carer and a sufferer of depression but whether it's my caring role or my anxiety about "life" that is the cause of my depression, even I'm not sure.

After reading your post though, I just felt I couldn't say nothing, even though I'm not sure what I can actually say to help you feel better.

Depression is certainly hereditary in my wifes family together with more serious forms of mental illness but I feel that there are different causes to depression so it's important to determine what's actually causing the depression so that you can plan a way forward.

Rightly or wrongly, from what I understand about depression, there are 2 broad forms- Depression that is caused for no "outward" reason (biological) and a depressed state that is caused by anxiety, bad experiences or present day stresses.

What I mean is that often someone can be suffering from depression with symptoms that don't appear connected i.e. no motivation without actually having any feelings of being depressed.

When someone is suffering, what I call, "biological" depression, often I believe the only way forward is to be prescribed ad's which on the whole I believe are very effective.

However, when someone is suffering a "depressed state" because of anxiety, bad experiences, lifestyle etc, I'm really not so sure that ad's are the "whole" answer. They can certainly help to lift your mood but they can't cure the causes to the depressed state i.e. stresses, fear etc so it's these underlying causes that need to be targeted.

Therefore, what I would suggest is firstly find out exactly "why" they feel so depressed. If they can't tell you, I'd suggest asking the doctor to refer them to a counsellor, psycologist or psychiatrist so they can determine exactly what's causing their depression because once you know what you're dealing with, they can then decide what treatment would be most effective.

My "gut feeling" is that their depression is being caused by something in their lives which once treated will then lift their depression but I'm Only guessing and only a professional will really know by talking to them so it's imperative you persuade them to allow their doctor to refer them to the mental health team (if you haven't already).

I hope that's of some help to you and I sincerely hope they get the help you both need.

[Inapickle]

Thankyou Bill, you have been a help.
Feeling abit down myself today think his mood has rubbed off on me.
Thanks again Bill x

[lotte_82]

Depression can run in families......I know my mum suffered with Depression....(to what extent I am not sure, we are not close and its not something we have discussed, however she was sectioned on a number of occassions) and I have recently been told that i have Bi polar.....I also worry for my daughter (shes is only 4) and what her future may hold

I dont have any real advice as I am still fixed up myself about how I feel in relation to my own Mental Health.

Just wanted to send some hugs