OCD and my 6y old daughter I have right this time.

[mum2four]

I have a 6y old that has very diffucult behaviour she has alway been difficult.
She has always been smart and had a huge vocabulary and clear voice. I thought that sensory defensiveness discribes her and ODD at one stage but it cant be ODD cause she only like it at home. And sensory defenciveness still fits her but i think OCD explain what she say's when she angry and upset.

3mth old she hated being held she would cry till you put her down.

6mth old she refuse to eat food off a spoon. If she couldn't feed her she would open her mouth for food and nothing could get her to open it.

1y she started screaming about her clother saying yuck yuck and would rip her clother time after time it could take hour's to get her dresses and keep her dressed. she screamed about bath time saying it was dirty or cold or yuck simple word's the same with food everything was yuck or bad in some way. Allday tamtrum's big time. She started biting and attacing and pushing till you let her go and as soon as got any attenstion so would growl at the person or attack the person or object nearest to her.

1 1/2 she started swearing and attacking worse about the same thing's saying. The clothes smelled or thay were dirty evem she saw me get in out of the dryer freshly dryed and warm still. she was stil angry about everything. If she walked she said i was making her brack her leg's if she was in her pram she was screaming about not being able to breath and i was hurting her.

2y she was the same but had better word's like your killing me food make me sick and she would gag. if you put her a bath she screamed about it being dirty or cold or scared of going under the water ect and she was standing with 1 foot in the bath while trying to literaly throw her self out over the edge to get out of the water. She would hug you unless you has a pooh bear and even then it was long enought to get him back safe in her arm's.

2 1/2 she was still screaming all day about everything and it was alway about people hurting her to noisy that I was going make her ear not work or to yucky to touch even people. She would have hour long screaming session about hating everyone and everyone hating her. she was so out of control attack people in public if thay refuse to leave her alone after screaming go away. I could take up to 30 min to strap her in to her stroller and she wouls scream You killing me I cant breath you bracking my arm or my leg's the pram in yucky your giveing me a tummy ache or a head ache you name she said and looking back it was about her health but how dose a child so young stress out about thing like that. She may have learnt from her mum and nana and had predispotion to stress out about the smallest think like us.

she went on like this till she turn 4 and half 5y and then i got pregnant and something about the pregnancy or maybe ot was coincedance that she calmed down dramaticly but the winging never stopped i thing moving to bigger house help as well she had more space and I couldn't go much cause we live so far away from thing and I was tired lot's so many of her trigger's where no longer there.

She six now and she still has to be reasured that she not dieing because she hit her head or bumped her arm. She dose contant body check's to make sure she healing and no more injury's ect. She get literaly a terafied look in her eye's when she get a tiny scratch. She Alway going on about germ and getting sick. She say he has tummy ache heap and headache and feel like she has the energy to walk or pick thing up and dose the whole dragging her self on the floor rutine but as soon you say sorry you need to pick that up she slowly get's more angry.

With every step she take in public she get more angry and eventuy started complianing that her leg dont want to move she tired and while she doing this she lowering her to the ground. If you make her stand she can go balistic at you. You have to stand back and try to convines her to take more step them she complain that she cant breath and do the excess breathing thing. if you say you hav

[nomorepanic]

I think a lot of these are normal childhood behaviours and fears.

I was just as bad. Hated trousers - refused to wear them, hated anything round my neck in case it strangled it me, hated most foods etc etc

Don't let her fear all these things and don't encourage her to hate them. Teach her they are normal and won't hurt her.

You can make her have OCD type behaviour if you let her think these things are bad or normal or you act with shock with all the things she does. For example if she grazes herself and you panic and tell her it has to be cleaned straight away or she will get an infection then she will learn this. I am not saying you do this but can you see what I am saying.

She is learning behaviour and response and she most likely learns it from people and situations around her so don't let her.

She is young and can unlearn these behaviours if you knock them on the head now and reassure her.

If it is really bad then get her treatment asap or it will go on for a long time!

Nicola

[mum2four]

The behaviour she has has not been lernt by people around her you cant posible learn to hate everything as a baby.

I have never NEVER given in to her words I alway explain to her she may not like something but really has to get use to it and getting anrgy wont change much.

I'm not some mother who let;s her children cling to her and pamper there every whim in fact i have been acused of the oppersite becauyse i refues to allow her to use the excuse to get the cuddle to avoid what i have asked her to do and I'm really getting sick people asumeing that i must be allowngn the behaviour cause I AM NOT and I;m sorry if alway feel's That what zi just said is agressive in anyway but I'm trying so hard to make anyone just antone listen to me about my daught SHE IS NORMAL and I HAVE NOT pampered her agressiveness or excuses. She would not be as good as she is today with out the tremendous effort I PUT IN to help her ge3t use to life the way it is. I'm sick of hearing go away stop worring she'll grow out it I DID NOT grown out if it I use to hide in my room as kids with a medical book looking for reason for my symptom because everyone said the same about me back when I was kid. If I dare to talk about how I felt I shot down in a second and told to stop winging. I tell my daughter that if she dose have the problems she claim's anger is not that way to make people understand and she is sent away till she calms down and come back to talk to me properly and It taken 6y to get her to talk as much as she dose today.

I'm not trying to be some over protective mother who make thing seem wosre than thay are becasue I dont have the energy to deal with the behaviour. My house is run on a strick schedule for 5 mth now and my older 2 kids have taken well to it and my 6 is better but she still complain about germs and I have never obsessed about germs just the oppersite I stop steriling bottle's at 4 mth old I dont use anti bactrial cleaner. i dont tell my kids Yuck you droped that put it in the bin i dont complian about thing clothes not smelling clean none of these behaviour are ;learn by the home inviromnet. I dont pick my kids up a say OHHHHHH poor you do you need a band aid i say opps get up you ok brush your self off you'll be fine the bandaid are in you cupboard.

My kids aren't irrsponciable thay are expected to clean there room and make ther morning lunch and male there oaw brackfast or get there ow salod for tea or thay make there own food at least 3 night's a week cause with out all these thing to keep them busy and teach them about life thay would be untterly UNCONTROABLE. Before we started telling will at 3 to do it her self if she was going to scream at no matter what we tryed she was out of control 200 % we had to bye a speacial safty toaster for hert to make toast because that all she would eat and no matter what we tryed she woold not eat much els. We ended up having to incorage differnt things on her toast to get her to try mew thing's. We refuse to look fore her dailty clothers at age 3 because she would scream at us we would say you chooce then come to me for help when you not angry. she couldrun around naken attacking people cause thay would choose her clothes and the same if we try to help her decide. We stopped trying to brush her hair every day she had easy care hair thank good nees. it took from the age of 3 to now to get her to stop scream about everything no mater what you tryed So please dont tell me this is normal child behaviour with the thing we have done to get her to the point she at now.

[nomorepanic]

Woah

Ok I have a few things I disagree with here.

"My kids aren't irrsponciable thay are expected to clean there room and make ther morning lunch and male there oaw brackfast or get there ow salod for tea or thay make there own food at least 3 night's a week cause with out all these thing to keep them busy and teach them about life thay would be untterly UNCONTROABLE"

Are these kids treated as kids or adults? How can you expect them to do all that alone. They are being made to be adults too early. Yes they should help around the house but to do all this is a bit much in my eyes.They are independant yes but wow are they growing up too quick?

Something is wrong for a 3 year old to have these thoughts. Do you remember being 3? We are influenced by people around us so she has maybe learnt things.

I am not blaming you atall - I am maybe blaming society but OCD is not generally know to be hereditary - it is a learned behaviour so she must have got it from somewhere.


Nicola

[mum2four]

I have been using CBT basicly on her since was born I just didn;t know it wa till recnetly.

I am alway correncting my kide negative word to more positibe one ai dont tolerate my kids being mean to people or them self and I alway reprase then word and ask them to say it back to me and try to use those words nest time.

Between the age of brith to 3 and half I would cuddle my daughter against her will when she would start her I hate rutine up and I would pin her to me as she was very strong and if she was dangous to the other kids when she was like this and I would say You cant make me hate you ther no way you can make me hate you and she would scream I hate about everything. I would say I love you I will alway love you you stop me from loveing you ypou cant make me go away you can t make disapear You just gona have to acept I love you . between 3 and half 4and half i would still use the pram to settle her in the back yard and go out when she calm down and say I love you are you ready to come back and play with us we really want to play with you And she would start again this could go on for hour's and hour. At 4 and half she started to let us love her but she still rejected positive praise I would sneak around the house to catch her being good and would say That good playing you have noice word's you are so cleaver as doing that ect ect. she would go balistic at me abd I'd in ignore the tantrum till she attact people them removed her from the situation. We started taliking about her nice behaviour in front of her to poeple and not her bad behaviour and she would attack us for talking nice about her and we would ignore her and remover her when she got to agrressive. We did all the positive stuff and ignored all the negative as much as we cvould with a chold that was spo angry.

Can you still tell I didn't do every thing a positive parent could do in a situation so bad that no one care to serious look in to. I know in my heart I did the best I could with I knew and seeked help when I ran out of iidea's only to be truned away time andd time again.

[nomorepanic]

If you have to force a child to love you and cuddle you then maybe she has problems that you can investigate.

Have you taken her to a doctor?

Nicola

[mum2four]

then you come in to mhy house hold and try to get my kids to be kids with out distroying there well being and the house hole you come in to my house holdf a try to teach my kids how to be kids thay DONT PLAY and I have been screamingout for help since thay were babty and poelple keep telling me Go away you kids are fine.

My kidsa hane tantrum about playing that scream tge house down when evayou tryed tp sit down with them I play my son has asperger he has no play skill what so eva till recently no atten stion span to get to sit long enought to get him try to do do some thing.

You come in tp my house hold and give me better way to con teol my kids and to keep the, focused to teache them thing and I will gladly let you try I have been there done that my kid would scream at me no matter wghat I tryed and I am not going to an parent who lets there kids get away with scraming for thay want I will gladly do it for them, if thay wold not scream and shoutat me about doing it. the jobs thay do are job that were the bigest cause's on conflict on our house holds

My kids use to scream for hour about me trying to get them to tell me awhat thay wanted my kids would scream at me cause I gave them the wrong spoon my kidsa would scream at to do it the scream cause I didn't it right the sream cause I stood back to let try it them self dont presume to know why i have the rules I have My kids fall apart if i do thing to much for them My kide run wild if i to much for them.

I'm damed if I do damed if I dont so dont sit there and say WOA hand are these kids or adult's I send them out side when then have to muche energy and I dont feed them juck food.

[mum2four]

i have been trying since she was a bay to get answer's i really have my anxiety issues have incresed due to people telling me I'm fing thing wrong but thay cant tell what to do better and I'm so sorry about saying anything to affend you i really am i'm scream for help for my kidsa but no one is listen to me and it make me sad and angry and confused and frustrated and a eberything you imagin so sorry i really am you gut have so good to me i dont want you to hate melike every one els.

My depression was cause b y people telling me i was a bad mum.

I just need answer's I really do she a wonderfull child whe she not angry and it be hard to make her angry so so so hard.

[mum2four]

I huge part of getting help for my self was to get help for kids and my 6y once and for all. Since going on med's I have about 4 panic attack and lots of anxiety when trying to talk to people about my daughter so i'm trying to keeo calm but it very painfull subject for me but I'm not giving up on finding out what her problem is

[Alice]

hi mum
i was in the chatroom earlier tonight and you were talking about the behaviour of your six year old. I know how concerned you are about her.

When you were in the chatroom you said that aged 1 years old your daughter would scream and strip her clothes off saying she 'couldnt breathe' and you were 'strangling her'.

When i was a year old i doubt if i could put a sentence together let alone understand what the words 'breathe' and 'strangling' meant.

Im curious to know how your daughter knew these words at such a young age if you didnt use medical terms or words such as that. In your above post you said that 'the behaviour she has has not been learnt from people around her'. In this case her understanding of the words must have come from those around her.

If you make a list of all the worrying behaviours that your daughter exhibits as you have shown us, i dont see how a doctor can ignore that, there is obviously something distressing your child, hopefully something which can be treated.