Re: What is it to be alone?
Hi Veronica,
I got given CBT through the Condition Management Programme offered through the Job Center. And they sent down a senior practitioner who specialized in anxiety to interview me before accepting me into the programme. I was later told by my Job Center adviser that I was privileged because she had never come down to this part of South Wales to interview someone before. And although she was interviewing three other people before me, I was the only one that stood out as a bit of a novelty. The Job Center had not encounter a social phobia sufferer before. I was booked in for a one hour appointment that ended up lasting 2hrs and 20mins. Her understanding of my condition was remarkable, she knew how I felt, what would be going through my mind and was able to answer all my questions. Every fear that I had over the meeting she put at ease in the first 10 mins. It was if she could read every thought that was going on in my head. I walked in to the interview as a timid, nervous man and strode out as if I was 10ft tall. Anyway to get to the point of this story, I told her I had just read Dr. Claire Weekes book 'Self-Help for Your Nerves'. And she said that she used to work with her husband who was Chinese. It didn't surprise me because her understanding of anxiety was incredible, I just wished there was more people like her to treat us. Yes I was aware she was nominated for a Nobel Prize and just missed out, although I did not know she had been nominated twice.
You are right about me over analyzing everything, I think that might be because I have too much time on my hands. 
My therapist tried to introduce Mindfulness to me, she said it could be useful. But I think she give up after failing to get me to express my feelings to my family. She had also identified that I had a problem with repressed feelings. And tried to get me to start to address it by learning to express them. But because repressed feelings have no direct link to social phobia I believed she was barking up the wrong tree and lacked any motivation to try. Six months later I have now read about repressed feelings and realized it explains parts of the 'Jigsaw Puzzle' that other books on anxiety and phobia never explained. My therapist new I was just being 'pig headed' and probably would not have taken to mindfulness so decided to drop the idea. But I have a book that has a chapter on it so I think I will read it rather than skip it like I did when I bought the book.
No I'm not a Trekkie (I've never watched the program 
), my first names are John and Luke. The character played by Patrick Stewart in the series was Captain Jean Luc Pikaard. He had french ancestry, not welsh. 
And I know what you mean about Councilor Troy she was an Empath. So yes she would have been perfect for me but I would have just made her anxious. 
Take care Veronica,
John 
__________________
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.
From the book Dune by Frank Herbert
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You are missing out if you have not watched generations! I watched every weekly episode with my son when he was a little boy. We had a huge swivel armchair at the time (this was of course the captains chair) which we both occupied and I had to spin at high speed during the opening credits. I bought all of the episodes in boxed sets recently and we are going through them again. He is 17 now so we have separate command stations!
, but I think you and you son might qualify. 
I can watch them over and over. It's not just the escapism, I love the way they all work together as a team caring for each other. The writers show great examples of morality unlike "soaps" that only show the bad in people. If we all behaved more like those in Star Trek I feel the world and universe would be a much better place. I always liked Capt. Kirk in the original series because he was never afraid to say "sorry". I loved Spock for his logical approach to everything which combined so well with the doctor (Bones) with his humanity and emotional attachment to those he helped. Of course I also loved Troy and Capt. Pikaard in the later series but my favourite character was Data because you could learn so much about human relationships and how we interact through his eyes because he was always trying to figure us out! Other than Star Trek, the one person I feel I can relate to in science fiction is Dr. Who because he lives in his Tardis alone never being able to form a relationship because he knows that every partner he has will always move on with their lives leaving him alone.
