Hi, my name is Caroline, I am 35 years old, married with two children 7 and 2 and have been suffering from depression since the birth of my first child.
Having said that i think it was bubbling away beneath the surface previous to this, but perhaps the added pressures and responsibilty of being a parent have added fuel to the fire so to speak.
I found this website after doing a lot of research, and now find that it seems I have been suffering anxiety and maybe even a bit of OCD after reading about them.
After a recent severely anxious, depressive episode my GP has changed my meds from 40mg of Citalopram to 15mg of Mirtazapine - I took my last 20mg Citalopram thursday and I will be taking the first Mirt tonight - and 5mg Diazepam to see me through the rough times of the changeover, although I am even feeling anxious about taking the Diazepam to stop me feeling anxious as i am scared i will become addicted to another drug- nuts eh?.
I am so exhausted and fed up at never really feeling any better over the past seven years, despite trying different types of medication, that I feel I need to sort this out once and for all for my children's sake. i feel that I'm failing them and have had all the usual "they would be so much better off without me" thoughts, although i know of course that when i am thinking rationally that this is not the case.
I am thinking of having some sort of therapy, as from reading other peoples experiences this seems to have more of a long term effect, than just medication alone. What do you think? CBT seems like it could be for me, but to be honest, at the moment the thought of having to get up go out and speak to a stranger face to face fills me with dread.
Anyway, thought i would just introduce myself and that this forum may help, by talking to other people that might undertand a bit. i have a really supportive family, and my mum went through the same when she was younger, but it's sometimes hard for them to understand what is going on in my head, and i feel guilty that I'm whinging all the time.
Hope to speak with som of you soon
Caroline
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to NMP. Glad that you have found us. There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a fellow sufferer who really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better. Many here have found CBT helpful. I am sure you will hear from some of them. 