Hi
Just thought I would introduce myself as I'm new to this site.
I’ve just signed up to this site which I found when googling citalopram.
I’ve been on citalopram before, for three years, then stopped for a few months but have just started taking it again. I’d forgotten what it’s like to start it up and had forgotten just how bad untreated anxiety can be.
I started getting panic attacks after something that happened and got put on fluoxetine which made me feel so ill, and was then moved onto citalopram which, apart from making me thirsty doesn’t have that many side effects.
I was up and down for say the first year and a half but for the second year and a half was getting better and better so much so that after I stopped back in June, I thought I was fine and was never going to need it again. Then loads of stresses started and instead of getting the normal amount of anxiety and worry, it completely overwhelmed me. Now, I wake up feeling sick and anxious even if I’ve had a good nights sleep. My hands constantly shake, and I can’t concentrate on anything. I’ve lost weight, can’t eat, or if I do I feel sick, and when I do want to eat I crave junk food. I don’t have the energy or motivation to go out with my friends, and I have to force myself to exercise now whereas before I was at the gym 3 times a week.
Feeling like this is just awful – I’m on 10mg for the next few days then I go up to 20 for a week and then 30 for a week. I’d forgotten how long it takes to work.
I spend all my free time watching DVDs and movies now because that is the only thing that can make me feel slightly less anxious – I think it’s the escapist thing. I’ve started playing the lottery which was something I’ve never done before, in the hope of winning a large sum of cash so that I can move somewhere in the countryside and start all over again. How ridiculous is that. I used to love buying clothes and make up but now I hate going into shops because they’re too busy and loud and make me feel panicky. I hate going out after dark, unless it’s still early in the evening and there are lots of people around. Though not too busy as I can’t bear being in crowds at the moment. I can feel my heart pounding whenever I close my eyes, and its’ almost as though I can feel the blood circulating around my veins.
Unless you’ve been through this yourself you can’t quite understand what it’s like. I’ve not told my partner I’m back on my meds because he’d feel like he was letting me down by not being able to sort the things that have made me get like this again.
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