Struggling with finishing counselling

[nicksyb]

Hi Befuddled

I hope everything is going better for you since you had to make a decision about whether to return to your counsellor. As someone who is in training to be a counsellor myself, I would probably feel if I were your counsellor that I had not achieved what I set out to do if you wanted to return to me after two years counselling, which is probably why they recommended that you see someone else. For me, the purpose of counselling is largely about empowering your clients to feel confident about trusting themselves and their own decisions and not have to depend on positive feedback or support from others (which might not be forthcoming). Obviously it takes time, support and lots of work by both of you (!) to reach that stage but maybe your counsellor felt that she had (inadvertently) allowed you to become more dependent on her than was good for you rather than empowered by her. I wonder if you took on board how much of those positive feelings you had for that period of time you mentioned, was down to your own efforts and not just down to the counsellor.

I hope you take these comments as not reflecting any criticism of either you or your counsellor, just a reflection on why she might feel that you would benefit from working with someone else, so that you can continue to grow and gain from counselling in a way that you can take forward yourself.

[John4]

Unfortunately therapy for me seems to be a forever thing. I don't think it will ever end. With all the addictions that I have

[LittleAteam]

Hi;
I just wanted to express that I can completely understand where all of your threads are coming from.
I have been in therapy for the past 5 years on and off. My therapist is very good and we have managed to make huge strides in many healing directions. I have a huge amount of respect for her as a professional and respect her boundaries and the importance of these.
I have PTSD and dissociation combined with horrendous anxiety and panic as a protect if years of sexual abuse and neglect from my early years.
I find things extremely difficult and so have always put on a front. A mask. That protects me when engaging with others. I have been trying to work towards healing gand removing the mask ever so gently...
Quite recently my therapist told me at the end of session 7 ( which should have been a 12 week course) that because of waiting lists for others she would have to cut my therapy short and that next week ( week 8) would be our final session. I was incredulous! Maybe put into shock!!! I don't believe this is healthy; or towards any kind of healing. In fact it feels like a big smack in the face. I explained to my therapist that I could not believe that she was doing this. That it felt like 'Power Over' and that it should be ethically wrong to cut therapy so abruptly! From being extremely traumatised for a major part of my life I felt that this experience shoved me right back there. I felt wronged. Wounded. I turned; upset at the final moment of the session and asked if I could give my T a hug to say thank you. She obliged silently! In my head I was telling myself to express humility for what we had achieved together and that despite the circumstances she had walked through so much with me; but I wasn't planning on ever returning again ( although she said she would be able to see me again in about 3 months time) . I left with tears falling down my face unco trollably although at the same time I felt numb!
My therapist called me the next day and explained that she understood how I felt and that week 8 wouldn't be my final session but that she was able to offer a few more sessions. I am grateful for this and that she took the time to think and call ... But I really feel like i entrusted so much that feels invalidated; lost and alone!
Any body else been through this experience? I really would welcome your thoughts. Should I return? Part of me think I will just because she has tried and I respect her willingness to want to help me; but then power and control exerted from being able to pull the rug from under my feet makes me never want to see her again. Never resume therapy again.
Thanks in advance for anything anyone has to share.