Today was another difficult day unfortunately, when I went shopping in my nearest city (Plymouth). To start with, I don't like it when I can't see my way out of a place and I struggled with the new(ish) shopping mall at the top of the town.
Later, I managed to eat my veggie cooked breakfast in the market cafe despite having had a panic attack just before entering the cafe (and it was by no means over when the meal was served - I was tempted to run out of the cafe whilst still waiting for the food!), but I had another one whilst waiting at the bus stop to go home and that one was bad enough to persuade me to get a taxi to the next bus stop near the railway station, which is an easier environment for me to cope with, rather than wait about 25 minutes at a main road bus stop with traffic whizzing past at rate of knots.
Even getting the taxi was almost heroic for me as I was feeling so bad at that point that even the decision to cross the road near the market and go to the head of the taxi queue felt like an ordeal. Once the taxi driver had dropped me off I then had to wait about ten minutes at the station bus stop and, whilst it was easier to cope with than the previous stop, that ten minutes seemed like a long time with my anxiety levels still very high.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but that's the way it seems to be; two steps forward, one step back. I doubt it's any better for most people who suffer from PAs.
Thanks for reading this,
Graham .
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