A setback

[loulabella]

I agree, we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for...

[Typer]

I know, that fear is just awful...in fact for me I fear the fear more than any other aspect - but here we are carrying on, carrying on.

[graham58]

To you both;

Yeah, that's right. It's almost as if the fear is a bully; the more you're scared of it happening again, the worse it gets. Every time you beat it though, you loosen its hold on you just a bit because you have an experience to remember in which what you thought would be an appalling, crushing experience (or even a fatal one of the panic attack is bad) turned out not to be as bad as you thought and you came through it to the other side.

Boy, do I wish there was an easier way though. Maybe there is and I just don't know it yet.

[NoPoet]

Once I got off the bus I went into a panic attack which lasted most of the day and meant I was obliged to take two taxi rides I hadn't budgeted for and couldn't really afford (total cost £7)

Crikey, I thought my money situation was desperate

Your advice is good mate. A panic attack is like a game of Warhammer. The panic attack is the moment you throw a double six for your Ld test, and after the despairing cry of "Aw ****!" the natural response is to run like f**k until you reach your deployment zone (called "home" by most people).

The important part is to avoid having stress to build up to the point where you're overwhelmed and panic sets in.

[graham58]

Crikey, I thought my money situation was desperate

Well, I did have a little money left to cover it but I tend to play safe financially when winter's coming to ensure I can cope with sudden temperature drops and higher heating costs . The cold snap we've had this winter proves my point

Your advice is good mate. A panic attack is like a game of Warhammer. The panic attack is the moment you throw a double six for your Ld test, and after the despairing cry of "Aw ****!" the natural response is to run like f**k until you reach your deployment zone (called "home" by most people).

The important part is to avoid having stress to build up to the point where you're overwhelmed and panic sets in.

True, but easier said than done IMO.

[Brunette]

Well done Graham, you have got the knack!

Once you can stop a PA developing you lose all the debilitating effects that come after which makes you feel 100% better in itself.

Onwards and upwards!

[graham58]

Thanks brunette.

I've got a lot still to learn though. The trouble is that (and this may sound silly but I can't think of any other way of putting it) courage is only there when it's there, if you know what I mean, and you need courage to deal with the overpowering fearful thoughts and feelings which come up when a PA starts.

It's a problem I haven't found a solution for yet.

[DarrenG]

Well done! Graeme

It's all about facing your fears my friend and if you keep acknowledging the problem it will help you overcome them.

[graham58]

Thanks for your reply Darren. I acknowledge the problem all right, it's pretty hard not to when you're totally bricking yourself

Reminds me a bit of when I used to try to learn to swim, many years ago. Before I set off for the swimming baths I'd be full of good intentions about what I was going to do when I got there, but once there I couldn't see properly without my glasses (I've always been short sighted), the poolside was slippery, people were diving off the side and generally making me feel unsafe and, worst of all, the mens' changing rooms are always for some reason located at the deep end which you've got to walk past to get the shallow, safe part...

So I'd spend another hour splashing around getting nowhere. Dealing with my panics is a lot like that, it's a lot easier when you're not actually in that situation.

Must learn to swim someday, I still can't (though I can float, I learnt to do so in a kiddies' pool).

[graham58]

Another update; a good day today, went back to Bodmin (for shopping and other things such as a visit to the bank and to the library, nothing medical this time) and a panic attack came on almost immediately I got off the bus; however, this time I was able to stand still and breathe through it despite feeling very bad for a short while. (I had to hold on to some railings at one point though.) The same thing happened again further up the high street.

So bearing in mind how bad these things generally are, I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself at the moment; the thing is though I feel I need some more sophisticated tools to work with instead of just breathing and trying to relax when one kicks in, which is hard going and I don't always manage to bring myself to do it (or haven't in the past anyway).

Thanks for reading this (whoever is), and good luck with battling your own PAs.