religon fears

[wanttodieangie]

i cant talk to a prist i am too scared. and my son is only 14 months and when he sees that being on tv he crys and i have not said anything to my son about it. but sometimes i get a feeling saying what right to i have to do that to my son only god does then it comes back

[Laurie28]

Hiya,

When I was reaLLY BAD WITH pnd AND gad i was terrifiesd i WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING TO MY BABY SON. I spoke to my health visitor who was excellent. I don't know why I thought I was going to do something i was petrified that I would lose my mind and do something without me knowing it (like u read in newspapers) anyway the hv was great and really reassured me and helped me that i wasn't crazy and wasn't going to flip out

can u speak to your health visitor for reassurance?

Lucky

[wanttodieangie]

i dont talk to my health vistor anymore after she said she was going to report me to socail services, someone please tell me my son will be fine:(

[Meg]

Hi Angie,

Nothing you're thinking and worrying about will harm your child, but I do think that to find your way out of this you may need to confide in someone, perhaps a counsellor type person who can help put things in perspective and work with you closely to make these these worries subside.

Meg

[wanttodieangie]

last time i did they tryed to put me away

[Laurie28]

Hiya,

I have to agree with Radar, you have to speak to a professional. They cannot take your son away because you are having 'intrusive thoughts'

I don't want to pry too much but what were the circumstances when they 'tried to put you away'.

You don't have to answer me but I must admit i am struggling to grasp the story from your posts.

Lucky

[wanttodieangie]

well i went see my doctor then he refured me to a mental health doctor i told them everything and they tred to commit me

[Meg]

Hi Angie,

If the mental health doctor had really wanted you to be an inpatient then he would have insisted on it there and then. They probably realized how unhappy and upset you were and by having you as an inpatient for a short while, you would be well looked after, prescribed some medication that would help, have some time 1:1 with a therapist and be discharged in a few days feeling much happier than you are now.
Things have moved on a lot in the last few years and people don't get 'committed' anymore, they get admitted to get helped and supported closer than they can do in the community.

If anyone had thought that anything was unsafe with your son or that he was in danger then he would be carefully monitored.

I urge you to seek help for yourself via your own doctor, a walk-in clinic or by phoning NHS direct so you can start to be helped properly to get over this obstacle to your happiness.

I want to reemphasize that nothing you have said or thought can have any impact on your little boy. He is a healthy toddler and you are looking after him well.

Whatever fears your Mum or others have instilled in you over your life definately cannot hurt either of you.

A TV actor playing a character cannot hurt either of you either. The reoccurring thoughts are , just as you have already identified, a form of OCD which is a condition that can be helped. It is not a pre runner to hurting anyone from what you have said or thought.

Please think about geting some professional and specialist help as it will help very quickly.

We are here to support you but clearly there are lots of details that quite understandably, you do not want to post about, so we don't know how to help you best.

If you'd like to email me directly you can do so Angie.

Please take great care of yourself and continue to let us know how you get on. We have grown to care about you and want to know that you are getting help for yourself so you can improve.

What does your boyfriend think of the situation ?

Hear from you soon.

Meg







Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[sarah]

Hiya Angie

Ive been reading your posts and I see that you are really distressed with how you are feeling. I see you dont want to see any medical professionals or a priest etc but you obviously want to talk to someone.

Just a thought here and I dont know how you would feel about it, but have you thought about phoning the samaritans? I think they even have a website that you can contact them through now.

They might not be able to give you specific advice, but they are there to listen to you and its anonymous so you wouldnt even have to give them your name.

Anyway, its just a thought. I really hope you get the help you want. Your son will be fine, you arent doing anything to hurt him, its just your thoughts. Believe me, if people knew what went on in my head sometimes, I wouldnt be classed as 'normal' and neither would a lot of people either.

love Sarah
xx

[wanttodieangie]

i cant talk on the telephone ethier i get too nervous and have a painc atack. thankyou all but it hink theres no hope for me. hope you all get the help yiu need.
byexx