Hi!
I was wondering if there were members/vistorsz whose shyness or fear was such that they felt too inhibited to respond or post messages.
I get this fear of fear of failure or rejection/negative evaluation... a discomfort, it seems like i cant put it into words.
my heart races when I send e-mails and I get sick to my stomach.
It is almost painful for me to read responses.
I know that I am not but I feel like a complete ass of a fool.
Is it the memory of an experience or the lack thereof?
I don't need cheering up from someone who doesnt have precisely this problem.
and i dont mean that in an insulting way
I just hopd that i might hear from one of these theoretical people
I am a 33 year old man trying to adjust to living in isolation with only record-player a good library and a hamster to keep me company. I realized a few day after i got the hamster that it would rather abandon me if he had his druthers.
Most nights I think of some excuse to sleep at my mums house.
I keep having these nightmares and it seems like they want to show me somethijng and that is what terrifies me.
It seems like most of the people you meet are so zombified by life and fear of life i don't know what the point is. I know my perceptions are distorted and so is everybody's but there does seem to something about the age...
Anyway I do feel alive and I don't feel lonely or not so bad like I used to want to die.
What is it about childhoods?