Possitive actions have negative results

[S.J.]

You know, it's so tough knowing you have to push yourself to do things to help yourself every morning you wake up. From getting out of bed or having a shower to putting out the washing or hoovering. There's no waking up and taking the day as it comes, it's more like waking up knowing it's another day thats going to require alot of effort, strength and determination to make yourself to do something. That is in itself a very draining start to the day, I look forward to bedtime but not to the next day...

I did a couple of possitive things this week. One being that I made it to my meeting with the mental health nurse. I don't want to go out because it panics me which starts the shaking and jelly legs, which makes me anxious so the sweat starts to pour out of me which means i have to take a towel with me, which makes me feel like a freak which causes me not to want to be seen and hence the agrophobic behaviour... but I did it. Poor Matt (nurse) has to deal with a foot tapping, sweaty, quivering wreck who twists her fingers and rubs her palms in distress coupled with the sobbing (I know it's going be like that which isn't something to look forward to) but i made it there, so thats an achievement to see as a good thing i did.

I've had major problems with my privately rented home.. for years. Dry rot, damp, mould etc and I kept getting told it'd be sorted and it never was. So, I finally snapped this week and called Environmental Health who arranged to come on Friday (yesterday), I was very anxious and stressed out after the call and my landlady called to rip me apart for doing it (the guy needed to get permission before coming round) She was calling me all the names under the sun, knowing I'm ill right now and unable to deal with added stress etc. So it wasn't the best day, tears and panic and worry etc etc but when i managed to calm down I was able to say to myself, you did good today Sue, you did something possitive, this is an achievement so well done.

Well He came, he looked around, tested the walls for damp with his 'gadget', which did come up on several places with an alarm/warning showing high levels of damp/water in the walls. We chatted and he said "the thing is, this property is not only old but it's at basement level, there will always be damp of some level in a basement property. You need to keep windows open, keep it aired, don't dry your clothes on the radiators etc etc". It was not the response I thought i'd get at all. The fact that the most severe mouldy, moss and damp areas had been hidden behind dry lining the wall by my landladies husband did not seem to be a big concern. The fact that the written proof i have from a professional listing all the problems, potential causes and suggested necessary repair work to fix it was ignored due to costs (hence hiding it instead) was not a concern either. The fact that the worst room is my daughters, who was just 6 when we moved here, and has had to put up with green/black mould and water leaks for 7yrs now wasn't important. The most shocking thing was that I/my doctor can prove/show that both my daughters and my health has deteriorated since we moved here. My depression/anxiety has got severe, my asthma is worse, i've had 3 chest infections. My daughters asthma is much worse and she had tests at the hospital fior it. Her eczema has got worse in the last 5 years and she has recurrent chest problems/coughing and swollen/itchy eyes most of the time. I told the guy all of this, I think it went over his head! He put my regressing depression down to living in a basement flat (my home is two floors but upside down so the bedrooms are downstairs) and the fact that it's so dark and gloomy down there. "It would make anyone depressed" he said.

There were 3 things he was most concerned about. 1) the maintainance of the property outside has not been kept up including a blocked guttering that i reported to my landlady 2yrs ago now because when it rains it floods my front door area, still hasn't been done. He also said the front was the worst in the whole street maintainance wise. 2) My gas safety check is out of date by 4 months and 3) I've never had an electricty safety check done (i moved in 2001) He said he's going to get onto them to get the above done but no answers about inside.

I'm gutted beyond belief. I feel deflated, mugged off, like i totally wasted my time, made my landlady really angry and worse of all I know her husband (thats done all the bodge jobs) is going to be smuggly smiling to himself thinking i told you so. I've got away with it. we've all fallen out big time which is great.

I'm obviously looking into getting re housed by the council, I have letters from my mental health team confirming my diagnosis and stating that my living conditions have had a major effect on my health. I also have letters from my doctor re both my daughters and my health issues and dates when they began. But I do not have environmental health backing these statements!!!

I feel like any health progress re my depression and my efforts to have possitive thinking/attitudes (which don't happen very much anyway) has taken a giant leap back. I have lost my faith in thinking i'm on the path to recovery, i'm back to negative 'whats the point' and even when I do try to do possitive things they just do not work out the way they should. I feel like something/someone is sitting and waiting for me to try and do something possitive, that is a step forward, and throws a 'spanner in the works'. Almost like i'm not supposed to succeed, get better. My good week (as weeks generally go for me) is now a distant achievement that doesn't deserve that title anymore... I don't know where I am going to keep getting the strength to carry on fighting through this right now. God knows I've really been trying to make things better for myself and my daughter but it's not bloody working, it's just chucked right back in my face!!!

[Veronica H]

You stood up for yourself and your daughter Sue and it was never going to be easy given those aweful conditions and the bad landlord. Keep on keeping on and try not to let the landlord get to you. Focus on pushing for the rehousing and looking after your health each day until you get what you need. Look at it this way, things would only have gotten worse had you accepted it. That mold is dreadful for Asthma.
Keep on keeping on.


Veronicax

[PoppyC]

Hi Sue
Firstly, Well Done for standing up to your landlord.
Your landlord is responsible for a gas safety check every 12 months and if they don't do it they can be taken to court as they are breaking the law.
I went through a very similar experience when I was bringing my son up on my own in rented accomodation a few years ago.
The landlord would not do a thing yet was quite happy to take a lot of rent off me each week. He told me that he could not afford to do any repairs! The whole experience really depressed me.
I moved in during the summer so did not notice anything until the autumn onwards.
There was damp, which caused damp mites everywhere (horrible!), the mattresses would turn green in parts during the winter, my son developed breathing & chest complications. In the mornings, I could smell damp in our hair, and our clothes & furniture smelt damp. The ceilings were black in the corners and cupboards and the bathroom full of black mould down the walls and half across the ceiling. The mould would attack everything.
I called the enviromental health officer out from the council, who said similar things to what you were told. There was no adequate ventilation in the flat and as it was a newly built flat there was lots of moisture still in the walls. I ended up having to have the heating on with windows open!
I had to move out the bedrooms and my son and me had to sleep on inflatable beds in the lounge!
I took lots of photos as evidence and went to a solicitor who was great.
Thanks to her help, I got moved out the flat. My gp was really good too as he wrote a letter stating how the conditions were affecting my sons health. I found Citizens Advice to be really helpful too.
My sons health improved when we moved to another house.
Could you consider maybe moving to another place?
I hope your landlords do get the work done on your house.

[S.J.]

Thank you guys for your support and comments/experience and advice. If there were something suitable available to move into near here then I'd do it asap but to be honest I'd like the security of knowing that the maintenence will be done without question... and I'm not feeling the strongest, most persistent person right now... Don't know if i've got it in me to fight this fight anymore...

I know thats negative, not the way to go as far as moving forward etc etc but truly, it's one thing after another, all the time. And thats not including my health, in as much as having to take each day as it comes, one step at a time, doing small things and build them up slowly each day and look at them as achievements etc.... It's just too much right now. I feel like I was holding out for Environmental health to back my corner and now i have to do it alone.... You know???