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[night walker]

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[Buby]

hi robert.

as the words of meg (radar) have a good hunt round. there are lots of tips and stories you can do and relate too. i am like you dont go to sleep till 3/4 in the morning and im only 14 and still go to school. ive been suffering for 10 years and it does get easier as time goes on believe me. sometimes we all feel like we are never going to be the same again. but i dont know if we are and i dont know if we not but you can only try to make it better.(dont let the 10 year thing worry you some only have them for a short while.)

none of us will judge you, we are all friendly and have made the slightest mistake in our lives at one time or another. you will become better using this site, i have...well we all have it has brought us closer together and we are able to talk about our feeling and give each other advice on anything. Try the top tips at the bottom of the forum there are lots of thing you can try. and if you think of anything funny it would be very welcome in the panic pause/humour bit. funny funny funny!

what are you scared of? we can help you if we know more but you best put that in the panic bit.

keep posting

hugs Rachel xxxx

[red]

Hi Robert - hope you managed to have a good sleep. As Rachel says, have a good hunt around the forum and read about how others feel and some of how they cope with the feelings. There is a chat room as well which people tend to visit in the evening time - can be very useful and we have a laugh most times - which proves that we can all keep our sense of humour too!

No body will ever judge you for taking drugs - many of us probably have at some time in our lives - I have for one! The reason I didn'd do it a lot was because I didn't like the feeling they gave me =- felt out out of control until they took 'hold' see what I mean, I am the same with alcohol now, so don't go i for that much either.

The panics you told us about are, believe it or not, very common symptoms of what we all go through and the important thing to remember is that they will not harm you, as bad as they feel. The feelings are horrible, I have been curled up in a little ball, frightened and not able to move a few times but have always survived! This site will help you a lot - keep visiting it and chatting - that in itself will make you feel better - honest.

Take care - and keep in touch.

Red
xxx

[Fearflower]

Hi there Robert,

Sorry to hear what you've been going though...
I think that my drug use has contributed to my depression, anxiety and panic life. I started using ectasy full on when I was about 15 up until 20, that would be nearly every weekend. I'm now 23 and severly depressed, suffer with anxiety and panic and more recently OCD. I have had other issues that I think have contributed to this, but I don't think the drug use helped. I cry alot of the time with regret for what I've done, but drug use is so common, I think its almost impossible to avoid especially when drinking alcohol and then being offered something, you just don't think about the consequences. Sometimes I think I got in with the wrong crowd, but everyone and anyone uses drugs these days, I find it hard not to meet people who doesn't use them.

Like you I feel awful most of the time and have learned to live with the symptoms. Some days I scare myself about how I feel then other days I just accept it.

I'm currently seeing a psychologist who is TRYING to teach me ways to control anxiety...not sure if its working that much, but I guess these things take time.

Just wonder if your getting any help at the mo? Either with meds or seeing someone? Last year I was supposed to do a course at college on "how to control anxiety" but I never made it for being too tired all the time.

Anyway, I think I've rambled on enough for now.[:I]

Take it easy

Fearflower

[Meg]

Dear Nightwalker and Fearflower,

Welcome to the site .
Sorry to hear how grim things have been for you both .
You will not be judged here on what you have done in the past.

We just ask that you come here with a will and openness for improvement and progress and feel free to post whether you're having a good or bad day.

These recreational drugs are just as mood altering as medicines so it's not really suprising that if you were fine, they alter that in some people. Quite why some people and not others is yet to be definatively researched. What is clear is that numbers are on the up... quickly.

We have had drug induced panic people fully improved . When I remember usernames I'll post them.

What are you doing to help yourself in terms of supplements lifestyle etc?

Take care



Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Hi all

As Meg and others say, no-one judges anyone on here and that is why it works so well. There is no hatred against others and we all work together to help each other recover.

You will find that as you settle in here you get as much support as you need, so welcome and let's hope it helps you like it has others.


Nicola

[night walker]

hey guys

thanks for your words,,,its good to know i am not alone in this crazy world,,,,its not got to know u guys have to suffer as well:( i am sure you get days that are so hard to get through with a mind full of panic and pain,,and a no end to this hell feeling that seems to linger at the back of the mind,,,when these things are going on inside your head,,,its hard to be the person you want to be,,,suddenly you become a very diffrent person,,,,this is where i am right now wanting to do so many thing but trapped by my own mind of horrible thoughts and total panic that stops for a little rest every now and then before it starts to hit me again,,,,i would like to go on meds but am scared to go back to how i was,,,i would rather die then go back,,,

fearflower,,,many of your words have been my thoughts,,,,i am sorry to here you are going through similar things as me,,,with the added feelings of regret to bring you down even more,,,,like you i have cried over my stupidity in drug use but when its in your face all a time its hard not to have a try,,,and like you say'you dont think about the consequences,,,and when the high comes you can forget about everything!!!

again as you say learning to live with these feelings is the only way to go,,,but when it leaves you so weak all the time and makes you life so hard to live its hard ....gone are all your ambitions and drives to be the best you can,,,,,,,,all thats left is your will to survive,,,

at the minute i am not getting any kinda help,,,,or taking any meds,,,,dont drink/any stimulant...or smoke,,,wont even touch coffee,,,have not done anything for about 18 months,,,some times i feel like a monk,,just need to shave me head and i would look like one!!!though i do manage to hold down a part time job,,,,which fills me with panic but i have learned to live with it,,,like you,,,until it gets the best of me then i have to run and hide normaly to a little room i have found thats full of mops and cleaning stuff(god knows what people would think if i was ever caught in that little room,,,i mean if i had a girl in there at least i would have an exscuse,,,but on me own they would think i was a right wierdo[:I],,,,,,it takes me all my will power with this panic thing,,,in turn this leaves me so tired so i dont do much else,,,a couple of times a week i will go swimming just to keep my heart ticking over,,,when i am swiming i never seem to panic....wierd realy,,,its still hard for me to be around people,,though i can do it i am normaly in some kinda panic,,,but us people become realy good actors!!!

how has your life changed fearflower,,,has your life changed as drastic as mine????

well guys i have gone on enough to night,,,thanks for making me feel so welcome to your sight,,you all seem like a great bunch of people..i am looking forward to getting to know you lot

robert[B)]

[Meg]

Hi Robert ,

Couple of suggestions . Get yourself on a Vit B complex www.questvitamins.co.uk are good.

You don't panic when swimming because you're using up the excess adrenaline, When I was acute I walked about 7 miles a day plus swimming. I think I would have gone srir crazy without that as I was continually producing adrenaline 20/7.

Your actions may have brought these PA on initially but your thoughts now are keeping you here in this panicy space, as you have nothing on board to induce them part from your own horrible intrusive thoughts. IIt's now a habit.

Which are most common in your thinking: What if , it might , I can’t , I should have , I’d like to , it won’t … or another of your own ??
Once you've identified that , it'll help in pointing you in the right direction ..

Take Care







Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Fearflower]

Hi Nightwalker,

Like you I am scared to try meds again. I was on them for about 2 years, started off with Venlafaxine onto prozac but they didn't agree with me. But since then I have been really really anxious and now severly depressed, so I'm considering going on them again but trying something else.

I know how you feel though, for a few months, I refused to take any sort of tablet whether it be a paracetamol to a bloody vitamin! And I think the reason behind it is because it reminds me of taking ectasy tablets and the thought of ever having ectasy again scares the hell out of me, its no wonder we don't want to swallow another tablet again.

I'm a bit weary about certain antidepressants with regards to their withdrawal effects, but doing some research on the computer and seeing if there is a particular one the works well for panic and anxiety might be worth trying. Not all of them will agree with you, you just have to keep trying until one suits you. Have a think about trying something cause when your living your life each day with heightened anxiety how are you going to attempt to stop that vicious circle?

My life has changed quite alot, I've lost alot of friends (there all still out clubbing it and taking drugs) I've lost my job a couple of times, I've lost my ambition to go travelling (too scared) I've lost my confidence, I'm scared of drinking alcohol, sometimes coffee. I take alot of time off work, always feeling tired.
But I do have my good days. When I have my good days I think I can fight off anything, but its easier said than done!

Anyway, i've rambled on enough for now.

Fearflower

[night walker]

hi Radar

thanks for the advice,,,but i dont realy take vitamins of any sort,,,i know it will not do me any harm,,,but my phobia is strong,,,the last table i ever took was a hayfever tablet because two years ago i had realy bad hayfever,,,for the first time ever,,,within half an hour i had a massive mood change,,,,i felt ill,,and the panic was unreal,,,that lasted about half a day,,,but for two weeks after i was ill and allways on edge,,,,,there was something in that tablet that did not agree with me,,,will not risk any thing like that again,,,,,,,

but you are right my body does seem to produce adrenaline 20/7,,this drives me mad sometimes,,,as relaxing is imposible but the swiming does help a lot,,,keeps me from going totaly crazy,,(again you have been there and know this feeling[B)],,

radar i dont think it is habit that is keeping me in a panic mode,,,if it was i would be one happy lad,,these feelings come and go all day i can not control them,,,,i can be any where and they still happen i have totaly no control over them,,,i dont live my life locked up in my house,,,if i need to do something i will go out and do it,,,and i know 8 times out of 10 i will start to panic,,,but i still do what i need to,,but in the end i totaly dont enjoy what i am doing because of the panic feeling,,but i dont let it control me unless it gets realy bad and i have no choice,,,my mind is damaged,,,but i am better then i was 3 years ago,,,i dont know if that because time is healing the damaged or if its because i have learnt to handle it better,,,,either way its still hell,,but not burning in hell ,,,,if you know what i mean[}]


hey fearflower

again i have been through the same kinda feelings as you,,,and its is because i get so many bad feelings of everything thats supposed to help me,,it normaly sets something else of and when you are all ready feeling weak the last thing you want is something to bring you down even more,,,can not go back scared to go forward,,,so i guess i am stuck,,,,,

but like you i do have my good day and think i can take on the world these times it is so easy to forget the past and look forward to the future,,,sadly these days are view and far between,,,,

so like you i have lost my ambitions/confidence/my fear chemical is running on high all the time,,,,stoping me from doing a lot of things i would so love to do,,,,but how do you fight your own brain and your own thoughts,,,if your brain is panicing then you have no choice but to go along with it,,,and to try and calm it down the best way you can,,,in your mind you know that the panic will not kill you,,,even though the feeling is telling you diffrent,,,,,all these feelings come from inside and the only people that understand them are the people that have to go through them,,,,
fearflower i hope you find something that works for you i admire the fact that you have the bottle to try,,,,diffrent things,,,,hopefully you will get your life back,,,hopefully we will all get are life back,,,,,,,,,

take care

nightwalker