pregnant and very scared..pls send some love my way

[peach]

thanks for that lyn1960.

so im 6 weeks now, and just cant seem to stop thinking about the birth.
whatever way i go, both seem so so scary! i mentioned to my husband that it feels like ill be in one of those saw movies where i have to choose which horror i will face ( i havent watched these movies, having anx, but i get the idea of what happens in them)...he said that was an awful thing to say.

so now i feel really bad, but still terrified i cant resolve this in my mind. i know this wont happen for another 7 and a half months, but its inevitable....

what do i do if the baby isnt healthy?

oh what have i done?

so sorry to be harping on like this, but i cant seem to stop my head.
on the good side-i have started sleeping through the night now, so im not waking up crying...

i wish the stork story was true........haha

[ames6767]

I was exactly the same, terrified of pregnancy but I thought no I'm going to do this as a baby was all I ever wanted and it was fine and the best thing I ever done. Just try and put the birth thing to the back of your mind for now. I have 2 children now and they are everything to me. Good luck and be brave xxxx

[cunny1980]

Congratulations I havent got any kids myself but am getting really broody. Just think of the gorgeous baby you will have and I think you will be fine

[peach]

ok, im almost 7 weeks and getting desperate now....

im starting to think i may be better off terminating....again....

bawling my eyes out, can barely look at the computer...just googled and read so so many horror stories now im petrified!!!!

i know my family will be so disapointed if i terminate again, and so will i....i dont think i could live with myself...

so i was thinking of going for a cs. reason being- i dont think i could cope with the pain of labour and possibility of something going wrong, i dont care that women will judge me for it and call me pathetic.

then i just read one woman said there is 3 times as much chance of dying on the operating table then vaginal birth.......but it seems most v births end up on the table anyway......

i cant stand the idea of being given a needle then getting cut open, but as my friend says it will be 20 mins then its over....my doc said none dies either way in birth these days...

oh god, pls help me, i feel like im loosing my mind

[ElizabethJane]

Peach please make an appointment to see your obstetrician go private if necessary. Tell him/her theat you do not want to go through a vaginal birth. In your circumstances they will allow you to have a caesarian. I am so sorry that you are getting into such a panic over this. You don't need to terminate this pregnancy with proper support you can get through this. Go to see your GP and talk to your midwife. Childbirth can be such a wonderful thing.

[Anxious_gal]

what do you really want to do in your heart?
try not to let the fear take over your decision.
hugs x

[peach]

thanks mishel and elizabeth jane. i have decided i will make a docs appoint ( actually hubby said he will do it to make sure we go)

i want this baby more then anything. ive decided to get educated by proper ppl rather then google- urgh! and hopefully make an informed decision about which way i will go with the birth.

i think i can. i think i can....lol....

thankyou all so so much for helping me through this. ive been on this website for about 5 yrs now with anxiety and this is the biggest thing im going through in my life and all of your support is fantastic!

i do really question whether i would be able to get through this if i hadnt found you all on this website.........once i get through this i plan to help others if i can.
virtual hugs to you all

[ElizabethJane]

awh big hug peach. Hope the appointment goes well.

[andrea thompson]

hi hon
i have suffered with anxiety and agoraphobia for as long as i can remember and still suffer now occasionally.... i have a little boy 3... i was really worried about the birth and everything but i just thought well its in there and its got to come out... women go through childbirth over and over again so it cant be that bad.. thats what i told myself!!!! looking back now the pain is really bad... but somehow you cope and get through it... and even though you are in pain you sort of feel really good cos you are the most important person in the room... and when your beautiful baby arrives.. its jst amazing it is the single best thing i ever did in my life.... i always say its like running a marathon.. really hard... really tiring... but the satisfaction at the end you cannot put into words... and there is nothing like having someone else to worry about to take your mind off your own probs / phobias....

good luck.. you gonna be fine.... x x

[Anxious_gal]

aw well done on making the doctors appointment!
i know anxiety can mess with your mind and you start imaging ll sorts.
try and image everything going well even if you don't believe it.

the anxiety will be worth it in the long run :-)
good luck at the doctors I hope everything goes well for you