pregnant and very scared..pls send some love my way

[NervousNellie]

Hi Peach,

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am pregnant too. I am 9 weeks and 2 days. I suffer from terrible health anxiety, which in turn, is causing me to have a fear of pregnancy. I already have 2 daughter, ages 6 and 4, that were both born by c-section. I had the most wonderful experience with both of their births. I wouldn't change a thing about the births. But now I am feeling like the birth of my 3rd child will be a disaster! I have a lot of support from my entire family and have just recently started to calm down a little. But when I was around 7-8 weeks, I was a walking disaster! I couldn't stop crying, wondering what I had gotten myself into. This baby was unplanned, so that was difficult to accept too. I'm trying to rationalize this whole situation....I fear the c-section, which will only be about a half hour out of the entire 9 months of pregnancy. Why worry about a half hour? It will be over before you know it!

I had a really nice talk with my father about my fears. My biggest fear is that something is wrong with my heart and I'm worried that I will have a heart attack on the operating table. My father so kindly reminded me that these are just fears, not truths. He also pointed out the fact that I am certainly NOT the only person in the world that has ever gone through this. He told me that I am acting like I am the first patient in the history of pregnancies to have a problem with anxiety and panic! He reminded me to let the doctors handle the pregnancy. Do what they say and everything will be fine. And I know in my heart that this is true! So I'm going to go forward with this pregnancy and sometime in June, I will have my 3rd child. And I know that I won't regret it.....you won't regret it either. Children are gifts....don't let your fears take over your life!

You can PM me anytime you need to talk. I think that once you get through the first trimester and your hormones level out, you'll feel a bit more confident. Sometimes, pregnancy hormones act as a protectant and help the mother feel normal throughout the whole pregnancy....no anxiety, no panic, no fears, etc. Maybe we'll get lucky and that will happen to us! Just remember that you're not the only one who is having these feelings....and they will get better and it will get easier!

[lc2613]

i am 23 and have three boys all it is normal to be afraid of childbirth but the truth is there is so much going on not in a bad way that you are so focused on the birth there is no time to be afraid and the midwifes are lovely and make you as relaxed as possible all labours are different i have three and can,t say i have a horror story. my advice to you would be to sit with your midwife and discuss a detailed birth plan so you know exactly what you want or to expect. and believe me once your child is there the birth becomes a distant memory.good luck xx

[denovo]

A baby is a great thing...its a positve...and a great friend in the future, after they grow-up. can be a helping hand..we had five. and now have seven grandkids...its great...things well be fine!!!! don't think just do...this is the problem with this disorder!

[peach]

oh wow!

thankyou so so much for all these wonderful replys!
im at 8 weeks now and a total mess, just as you said you were nervousnelle.
so so glad to find someone whos around the same time into it as me! yes, i will pm you. would love to ask about all the weird things happening to my body as its all freaking me out badly at the moment.
ive got my first doc appoint this morn, and totally terrified....as expected. hubby is coming and promised he will not let them give me any needles....im happy to have an ultrasound, just to make sure the baby is alive. ( i kinda think it is as i still have all symptoms....tender chest, sore lower back etc...not that i know anything about this, but im trying to be positive

nervousnellie, your reply was just wonderful, your dad sounds just lovely! mine wont touch me cause hes scared hell catch something, and cause i already have a little belly ( little bit chubby) hes been heckling me saying i look 6 months pregnant with twins....hes a bit mean. also hearing that your two ceasers were great is just what i need to hear. this gives me hope that i will be ok. i keep crying every night at the moment that the birth will be like one of those saw movies- a horror story where i choose my type of death (dont get me wrong, ive never watched those movies, having anx wont let me, but i get the plot)

lc2613, thanks so much, i will try to get myself a good midwife. i plan on warning everyone at just how bad i am. im hoping this will ensure ppl will be very kind and gentle with me at birth and if i need needles, they will be so gentle i wont feel them.....heres hoping anyway...

denovo, congrats on your beautiful children and grandkids! you must be delighted! i so wish for this in my future too...i also agree with what you said, my problem is i think way too much, and i dont even think im that smart to be thinking so much haha...but its been the bane of my life and i just cant seem to control it yet, tho im trying.....wish me luck ppl with this appoint, and ill let you know the outcome.

[peach]

ok, so doc appoint went ok, but was very scary. doc said i have to have a blood test and he booked me into the hospital for the birth- its all so much more real now.

so, last night i freaked out so much i had a panic attack, and now im terrified ive hurt the baby.
hubby said there is nothing we can do now and i will just have to wait till the ultrasound next monday!!!!!! how can i wait that long to see if im carrying a live or not baby??????

also, now im scared of the nighttimes....i hope last night doesnt happen again. ive been stuck in this house for days now, and im desperate to gt out, which i was going to do this morning, but after last night, now im worried.....

[Mya]

Oh Peach you are doing great! I cannot imagine the fear involved in this! You are going to be fine and just know each day you are getting closer to meeting your baby! Remember - you are an inspiration for us Tokophobics and not only are you getting stronger from facing your fears - you are helping others of us to possibly begin facing it as well! I am sorry I have not PM'd you back yet - I have had a nightmare of a week. I have begun therapy for my anxiety and will soon discuss the Tokophobia. I will let you know how it goes. I am ashamed to bring it up to the doctor but I am sure she has seen this before ( I hope). Don't worry about the blood test - remember we imagine things to be so much worse than what they really are. God Bless you and your baby! You will be a wonderful mommy!

[looking4answers]

Here for you sweetie..

[EmmaJane]

peach, honestly everyone has said it all. I have had 5 natural births in hospital, with gas and air. Listened to the sound of the ocean on the last 2 births, that got me through, going with the waves and contractions. I had no tears and no stitches, last babe was 10lb 1oz. Once you hold it and see its little eyes open up at you, all will be forgotten. Pm me if u want to talk. Try not to be to scared, its a fear of the unknown, but it is not a bad unknown. Look after yourself xx

[peach]

so great to be able to open up about this and get great support and advice from great women on here. thankyou all so much.

im 9 weeks now, so still going on..

ive been sleeping better now at nights and my panic doesnt last as long now.
i have my first ultrasound on monday, so bit nervous about that, but hoping all will be ok.

thanks fo ryour kind words mya, but i certainly dont feel like an inspiration, at the moment im just trying to get through each day. i was feeling so so sick this last week, but since yesterday im feeling a little better now. morning sickness for me has been 24 hrs lolol...urgh!

thanks for your advice emmajane, i will certainly keep it for strength, and im going to try hypnotherapy so im hoping my birth with be as positive as yours were. i do know how lucky i am to have this gift.

[NosilaB]

Hi Peach!

I agree with Mya - I am tocophobic and I really DO think you are an inspiration, really I do. I wish I could be as brave as you and go for it, so I'm reading your posts with huge interest! I wish you all the luck in the world, you've got this far - you can do it!! Stay postive and I look forward to keeping up with your progress, as you said in the beginning - take each day as it happens.....

Take care and be kind to yourself x