Scared

[sal]

Been feeling really anxious recently but not as much as i have being feeling down. Got that feeling that there is nothing to look forward to and i cant seem to pull myself together.

Have stopped going out again, apart from work, really need time away from it but cant go sick again with anxiety/depression.

Got into the position where i can be bothered to come on the computer, phone a friend etc.

Drinking far too much wine on a night but at the moment it is the only way i can get too sleep and calm myself down. But on a morning i feel ill with the drink and guilty but by the evening i convince myself it isnt a problem to have a drink.

Feel like a lost soul at the moment and like no one understands, when in reality i know they do.

Know i havent offered much support on the site recently and i feel like i have being selfish for not being there for others that need the support. Again letting people down and i hate that feeling.

I have read posts but havent replied because havent had the words or advice to help them and that makes me feel like i am letting people down.

On reducing my medication at the moment but not sure it is doing me any favours. Simon and me have had a few problems to and it all seems to have added up.

I know full well i am not alone and have so many people to help and support me but i still feel isolated and back to how i felt a long time ago that i am on my own.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[christian]

Hello my dear Sal

i've been feeling my spleen lately as well

just completely burnt out on systematic thought for a while
always trying to build something according to someone else's rules
thinking you have to do this and that and feeling haunted whether they are done or not
worried other people must think i'm crazy

i've given myself "permission" to be a lump for a few days and not push myself to be super social because maybe it's not ALL what Im about...

there isn't anythig to look forward to. so stop looking and start living
sorry for sounding like an advertisement

its funny I didn't think i was going to do any more postings but it turned out to be just a short bout of anxious self-hatred or something

don't know if this helps you
just trying to remind you not to give up
BECAUSE NOTHING IS PERMANENT
and not all is as heavy as it sometimes seems

[christian]

i forgot to tell you not to drink too much wine
more than a glass or two is not such a good idea

have you tried singing and playing the guitar?

[lainey]

Hi Sal

I know how you are feeling, I have been the same fro the last 3 or 4 weeks and it came to a head on Satutrday when I just burst out crying.
You are not alone as you know and we are all here for you as you have always been here for everybody continually. You are not being selfish for not offering support to everyone as you have done more than your fair share over the last few months.
I like you drink far too much every night and know that it does not help the situation but it does help to wind us down doesn't it. Alcohol does exacerbate the symptoms especially depression but it's hard to give it up isn't it.
I have come to the conclusion that it's the dark, long nights and the dull days that are making me worse could be the same with you.
I hope you begin to feel better very soon, always here if you need a chat.

Take care

Elaine x

[desperate]

Hi Sal,

Sorry to read that, can you try phoning a friend tonight or something or arranging something to do?

Sometimes you need to to break the cycle.

Sarah

[Piglet]

I think all of us on here have these times.

If you look at some of the posts there have been quite a few like yours Sal. I felt a bit poo and thought I sounded very negative a little while back.

Its ok and no-one thinks you aren't being supportive - I think its a site of taking turns really isn't it. We don't all feel good at the same time and we don't all feel bad at the same time either.

I keep thinking with me if I have glum days that perhaps its my age and other times I think besides our anxiety we all face mini crossroads regularly in our lives or times of reassesment which can be unsettling.

Big squeeze.

Love Piglet

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[pips]

Hi Sal hun,

Sorry you are feeling anxious and low darling.

I understand hun i get days where i feel rotten and everythings a struggle. I find you can over load on anxiety to. You are not selfish mate you have always given wonderful support. Sometimes you need time out that's all.

Reducing your med's might explain why you have been feeling so bad. Perhaps see whay you Dr has to say.

Please remember I am always here for you sweetie whenever you need me.

Take Good Care.

Sending you loads Of PMT matey.

Love & Big Hugs,

PIP'S X X X X

[carlin]

Hi Sal
Selfish? I don't think so mate....as for the rest, you are still working, so that's a good thing? Every now and then we don't want to talk to people, you have enough to cope with at home and work for the time being,as for the alcohol mmmmmmmm...i can definately relate to that (along with a few other i would assume) have no sound advice on that respect, we all know it does us no good, and makes us feel more down, but to give it up? another story i think..if someone took my beer away of an evening i would hate to think what would happen to them!!! Youare letting no-one down, firstly here we all understand what's going on, you are still working, and at home things wil settle, do not be too hard on yourself, i used to feel guilty about absolutely everything, even when it never even involved me, but now i put right (or try to) things that matter to me and then deal with the rest. gosh none of this makes any sense. anyway Sal, take care and keep in touch darling xxxxxxjean

[LisaS]

Hi Sal,

sorry you've been struggling lately, but like the others have said - we all have these moments from time to time and the thing is to just go with it..
You are still going to work which is a sign of a strong character, so you have the strength to get through this bit too. Sounds like you need a big hug.
I'm rather fond of the wine too, but have started having a glass or two every other night, which is working out really well as i feel much more awake during the day and every other night have something to look forward to! oh and saving money too!
so just be as you are for the moment. like Christian says, nothing is permanent. and read my sign off again - its so true.
if you need time out, take it, if you dont want to post, dont. You dont have to do anything, just look after yourself.
Reducing your meds prob has a bit to do with this.. its a good idea to talk this through with your GP and see if this is normal how you are feeling.
take good care hun,
Lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[Karen]

Hi Sal

I am really sorry to hear you are feeling so low. You are one of the least selfish people I know and are always here supporting others, including me.

I too have been taking time out and feeling guilty about staying away and not having anything to give to support anyone else. However, sometimes we just need that space and a break from things for a while. It doesn't make you a bad person or selfish at all.

As some others have mentioned, I too wonder whether the reduction in medication is exacerbating this. Have you been back to see your doctor to discuss this? Reducing too much too quickly can lead to worsening depression.

I think you cope marvellously with work and looking after Sam with everything you have been through. I am sorry to hear you have had a few problems with Simon recently but every relationship has its ups and downs and when feeling low it is more likely that you are seeing things in black and white at the moment. You both obviously care about each other a great deal and I hope things sort themselves out.

Although I haven't been in touch recently, I am here if you ever want to chat.

Take care.

Love,

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.