I need a hug - the future seems bleak

[Wolfie]

Hey Maddie *pounce*,

I am sorry to hear that you are under a vast amount of pressure and stress at the moment, but please take comfort in the fact that you are an extremely strong person - you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You can definately get through this, not only do I believe in you, but so does everyone else here at NMP.
If you need any help or support or advise, remember that we are here for you at any time, you are not alone.

Lots of lovely hugs to you hunni,

Take care and never forget that everyone is here for you,

Much Love,

Chrissy xxxxx

[maddie]

Thanks everyone for your hugs and lovely words. It helps so much to have contact with people who understand.

Dad is at home, but very confused. He thinks he's still in hospital. The op was worse than expected - the tumor had gone through his gall bladder into the liver. The doc and District Nurse are going to him today and tomorrow. Mum can't understand what is happening. I've arranged for meals to be delivered as Mum isn't able to cook for him.

I haven't been able to take the full dose of my meds this week as I wouldn't have been able to drive and do everything. I took them all last night as my OH is keeping an eye on things today. I have a free day tomorrow before having to take Dad back to hospital for a series of tests during the day. I may rest up, or maybe go out for a walk - whatever takes my fancy so long as it's away from a telephone. That must sound awful, but I need to have a day off. OH is going to cook for me tonight as I haven't ben eating too well - just catching things on the run. He's back at work tomorow - 7am-9pm, but he's helping while he can and while his patience holds!

[Granny Primark]

You are certainly in need of big hugs maddie.
My dad started with alzeimers when he was in his early fifties.
Its such a terrible illness. If I can be of help to you please contact me.

[maddie]

Thanks GP.

I'm feeling so guilty. One of the problems that triggers my anxiety is that my memory is useless, I have constant headaches trying to keep a handle on daily activities, I have to write things down and I can't cope with sudden changes. Mum has stroke-induced dementia and I could cope with her for short periods of time as Dad was there to put her right or have sensible conversation with. Now I'm worried about them both and have two of them talking random nonsense at me about different subjects. My brain feels like it will explode. I feel so bad that I can't just go and cook their meals, but my agrophobia prevents me going shopping. I've been forced to shop twice this week for them and now I'm wiped out. I shouldn't be. It's so frustrating.

I'm scared what is coming next with Dad and then what would happen to Mum. I feel awful as I am unable to take the responsibility of them. I'm trying to keep rational and stop depression decending. That's so much harder to return from than anxiety for me.

I feel physically, emotional and mentally sick. I've called my CPN but he says if I can drive to my daughter's I'm OK. He doesn't understand that the journey and a day there takes me 2-3 days to recover from. I am going to see someone from the Advocacy service next week. I am very afraid that without some help from somewhere I am going to go under and not return.

[Southern_Belle]

First of all a huge Maddie. I was wondering if you could order their groceries online and have them delivered to you. You could cook the meals in your own home and have OH take them to your parent's home. Your Mum could then just heat them up for lunch and tea. I don't know if this is possible, but just a thought. Hoping things are going better for you and I know you are doing the best you can.

Take care,

Laura

[Bill]

I feel you could do with ALOT more HUGS Sweet Maddie because of everything you're going through at present so.....



But I would also like to add this because the words of this song are Especially for You because it describes your kind personality and what you're going through so I Hope you like it. xxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v2sB...eature=related

[maddie]

Aw Bill thank you. I really appreciate being compared to a pig. I feel a bit low on courage at the moment, but at least you raised a smile and warmed my heart. Thanks.


Southern Belle, I appreciate your suggestions. We are now ordering meals in for Dad. Mum is still refusing to eat, but maybe she will when she sees his.

[Bill]

I really appreciate being compared to a pig.

I KNEW you'd say that!!! Typical!

Glad it helped a little though....Hope you like the other thread I've started for you in the Deps section to offer you some "courage"!

[maddie]

I'm getting so confused with all these threads! I'm going to say goodnight on here and hope you find it.

Night Bill. Thanks for sharing time and friendship with me tonight