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Thread: My Seroxat Diary

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    My Seroxat Diary

    Hi All

    I've been reading through some of the threads where members have posted their ongoing experiences with their meds. I've found them so useful that i've decided to post my own.

    My story begins last june when i discontinued taking Cipralex, all went well until 8 weeks ago when my anx began to rise and depression set in. Waited week after week for condition to improve but have decided that meds are now necessary.

    Cip did work for me, but was very slow acting with a lot of start up side effects (anx through the roof). I took Serox many years ago and from what i can remember it worked much better. So here i go again...Wasn't an easy decision given all the Serox horror stories, I really had to trust my intuition on this one. Hope it pays off

    Day 1

    Nothing much to report. Slightly lower anx levels. No dry mouth (one of the Serox side effects i do remember)

    Bexie

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    hi all

    Day 2

    Sleep a little disturbed last night. Anx still a little lower. Depression as bad as ever. Nausia this morning. Mouth a little dry. Felt much better in the evening.

    Day 3

    Good night's sleep. Anx/depression bad in the morning. So far none of the bad side effects I had with Lexapro. Happy with my progress so far.
    Last edited by BexieB; 13-11-09 at 14:59.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    Day 4

    Woke up, depression very bad this morning, took a diaz and went back to bed. Mornings are VILE, things tend to improve in the evening. I really think this 'diurnal variation' in depression is giving us a big clue as to its cause. I hope some scientist is working on it.

    Supposed to be going to birthday party tonight, not sure if i'll make it. Very bad thoughts, can't even talk about them. Still sleeping well, eating is so so. Only on 10mg Serox at the moment, up to 20mg next wed.

    Evening isn't going too well, Dep/anx horrible. I feel hellish. God i wish this would stop. Very few rays of hope/light/joy through the day. Feel like a shell, can't relate to life or other people. I really hope i've done the right thing taking these meds. They did work in the past. I think i'll have a cry.

    Later evening much better, had to laugh at Jedward on X factor, what a pair. I've been reading PyschoPoet's guide to Cit, some great stuff in there.

    Peace to all
    Bexie
    Last edited by BexieB; 15-11-09 at 00:45.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    Hi All

    Day 5

    Woke up a 6 in a panic attack, feel awful again this morning. Real groundhog day. Made myself sick before i took my med to try to make sure i didn't throw it up. Watching the telly, just feel so removed from the real world. Nothing makes sense, everything pointless. I don't even have words to describe this feeling. Anx/depression are just relentless. This is sheer hell. I pray i'll feel better soon. Maybe the evening will be better.

    God, i think i'm going crazy! What will i become?

    Still very bad in evening, took a diaz just to get a break. Slept for 7 hours.
    Last edited by BexieB; 16-11-09 at 10:16.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    HI guys

    Day 6

    Still have that vile, hopeless terror on waking. Some brighter moments as the morning progressed. Arranged to meet up with a friend on thurs (missed her birthday on sat).

    Afternoon also had soon bright times. Ate half a pizza for dinner and sandwich for lunch (delighted with that level of food intake) Early evening very tight feeling in chest, took a diaz again but i know i can't keep taking these. Didn't seem to take the edge of my anx, felt awful in the evening.

    These brighter moments give me hope that things are improving. My last 10mg tomorrow then up to 20mg, looking forward to the rise (I think).

    Sleep very disturbed, constant panic.

    Any words of support would be really welcome...I don't know how much more I can take...Vile thoughts, i don't feel human.

    Bexie
    Last edited by BexieB; 17-11-09 at 10:17.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    64

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    I'm on a different AD but I know how you feel.
    Take each day as it comes. I now your symptoms well. Make the best
    of those evenings. I have had a previous episode of "black dog" and time is also a healer.
    Keep it up

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    Thanks a million Steve

    I'm just in that really acute phase, but you are so right about time being the best healer.

    Day 7

    Morning and afternoon as bad as ever, but i went to acupuncture and concentrated on by breathing all evening...delighted with results..better than diaz. I'm not a fan a deep breathing, it's panics me. I find slow soft breath best, always in and out through the nose.

    Up to full dose 20mg tomorrow...

    Good night's sleep
    Last edited by BexieB; 18-11-09 at 11:24.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    Hi All

    Day 8

    Started my 20mg dose this morning. Early morning quite bad. Very tired and nausous, went back to bed in the afternoon. In the early evening felt just awful, how will i get through this? Took a diaz. Went for a short walk. I hate taking these, they bring added anx about addiction. I tried my breathing before taking the diaz, but couldn't raise myself out of the pit of despair.

    Very little sleep
    Last edited by BexieB; 19-11-09 at 09:30.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    240

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    Day 9

    Fast losing hope...can't see any way out. Life is dissolving in front of my eyes. Rocking back and forward on the floor, like some mad woman. Last week doc said i was severely depressed...thought i couldn't get any worse...i was wrong. Please let this end. I wish i could just dissolve, be erased as if i'd never been here...This is not really me talking, is it? It's the anx/depression. Thoughts disjointed, rambling..
    Last edited by BexieB; 19-11-09 at 10:19.

  10. #10

    Re: My Seroxat Diary

    Hi Bexie ,
    I take 30mg of Seroxat a day , starting on 30 from 20 just two days ago. I know from experience that they make you feel a little bit worse before you feel better . I also carry Diazipan with me every where . I feel like you do . Hang on in there and wait for the seroxat to kick in , thats what Im doing. I live in constant fear of my heart missing beats, I have had it caught on monitors and 24hr tapes but they say its harmless. We can fight this . Keep in touch

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