Have i ruined my life?

[tryingtobehappy]

I have always been a worrier and but it was never severe until 2 years ago. I had one episode of thinking I had HIV which was cleared up after a negative test. Then after a crazy winter ski season and some very stupid decisions it came back with a vengeance. Initially I worried about HIV, then about the number of people I slept with and then to what I find most scary the idea that i'm a peadophile. After seeing the news about Vanessa George, I became obsessed with the idea that maybe I had inappropriately touched children when I was younger. I have no memories of this and have pretty much come to the conclusion it's all in my head. I still worry that because I have these thoughts there must be some truth in them, although have been told they are just thoughts and you would know if you did something. My new worries are that I may never completely get over this and if I do I may never have a healthy relationship because I feel that nobody would want to be with somebody who has these kind of thoughts and am afraid that I do find somebody that if we want children because I have seen a psychologist and these issues I have will be on file they will call social services and take any child I have away. These thoughts upset me so much and i feel if i can live a fulfilling life what is the point in living?

I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and can help me with these issues.

[ladybird64]

Hi and welcome

I don't suffer from these type of issues but can guarantee you haven't ruined your life.
Can I suggest that you take a look at the OCD section of the forum and read through some of the posts there, also, if you look to the left of the main page you will see a list of No more Panic articles there is good information about OCD there.
Like I said, I don't have OCD myself but have read enough posts here on the forum to realise that you are having unwanted intrusive thoughts..many others have the same difficulties.

Take care