Im new from Lancashire!

[ISLASMUMMY]

Hi everyone,

I have just joined after looking at this forum on and off for years!!

I have panic disorder, which mainly manifests itself in health anxiety, of myself & my family.

This mainly started after my dad had his first heart attack when i was 15 . I constantly worried about him and wanted to protect him desperately. He had another heart attack before they gave him a triple heart bypass and life was sweet! This went on for 10yrs and even though i was worried i put it to the back of my mind as he looked good, and my panic attacks stayed in check. He suddenly very out of the blue had another heart attack and ths rocked the whole family as we thought the bypass had 'cured him'..........i spent the next year panicking about him dying, where would he be?, how can i stop it?, who can help us?, how would i cope?, i couldnt live without him!!!

18 months later that call came - I was amazed at my response! I have had months of counselling to be able to say - I felt calm!! The truth is i couldnt worry about him anymore, the worst had happened, it was out of my control. I was desperately sad, but no anxiety!!

Anyhow I had a couple of good years getting used to how life was to be, I got married, and had a wonderful little girl!! I suffered mild anxiety throughout this time, but nothing my usual fluoxetine 20mg couldnt cope with.

Our little girl is now 9 onths old and my anxieties are back. Will bad things happen to her? How can I protect her? Will something nasty get me and leave her without her mum?

I am having headaches, tension, blurry vision, unsteadiness, feelings of incompetence, and just living in fear!

I have gone back to my GP and have been given propranolol 80mg mr capsules to take on top of my fluoxetine - but feel scared to take them!! Ridiculous as I am a pharmacy technician!!

This message is just the tip of the iceberg really but I have to start somewhere!

Lisa (31) xx

[nomorepanic]

Hi ISLASMUMMY

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Islasmummy,

Welcome to NMP. I think as mothers we all worry about our children but those of us with anxiety it is much worse. Before I went on medication I cringe at what I put my oldest son through because I thought it was the best thing for him. (Think of a 13 yr old getting on a bus with a teddy bear painted on it after school to go to a nursery because I didn't want him to go home alone). Yeah, I know! I'm lucky he still loves me. My point is I understand how you are feeling and many others will too and will give you support. It is your decision and only yours whether you take the medication or not. I also found that some counseling helped me too. I'm so glad you found us.

Take care,

Laura