Originally Posted by
XmissShortieX
Im a mess =/ as much as i hate to admit that to myself, i write in journals, to express how i feel, but i am starting to stop doing it as i dont like admitting to myself how i feel. I went away for 2 days last week i did it to get away,and to show my mum that her loving little daughter could actually just up and go, and she admitted that she was worried, thats why i did it, to scare my mum. Im not an agraphobic but because i am on a course of Flouxetine, i have been getting bad side effects, so i have wanted to be near my bed for a few weeks. I dont think personally there is alot wrong with that... so yeah, my dad has just informed that my mum is worried about me.. why can't she tell me? She drinks at least a 70ml bottle of vodka a night, she goes go bingo with her best friend at least 5 nights a week, and buys a bottle on every occasion. She drives her car home from darts on a wednesday night, well i say that.. she gets my brother to drive her to at least round the corner of our street so my dad doesn't expect she's been drinking.. when i hear his car, i walk straight through to the living room and 'prepare' him shall we say. I feel like im tearing them apart in some ways. I suffer with panic attacks, and i just dont need to worry about my mums drinking at the moment. She also hides up her bottles, and fills them back up with water.. i found one the other day which was under the sink.. while i was tiding the house, (a 3 bedroomed house, the child cleans cos the mother cant be arsed!) there was a 1/4 left, i put a note on it saying. ''please dont drink me'' i love you... i checked it this morning.. its been replaced with water, what can i say.. i had a reasonably happy upbringing. I've had to deal with a lot more then half the people my age have had to, But thats made me who i am. My boyfriend is being supportive as possible, and i think my dad is on the road to hell from stress. How can i get her to stop?! i've tried everything! I dont know what else to do.. besides having panic attacks, and a high level of anxiety.. im in absolute showers of tears! Sorry for the rant! i just need some friendly uplifting advise! xx