Is there a cure for Doctor/Medical Phobia

[Mya]

I just wanted to see if anyone on here has extreme fears of doctors/medical situations. I know we all have fears of this but mine is now becoming extreme.

My fears come from being from a medical family and growing up hearing about diseases and death. Ironically my family is full of hypochondriacs but they avoid the doctor. I know this is learned behavior and probably genetic but I really want to try and get over this paralyzing fear.

Now that I am struggling with panic attacks and anxiety, it is making my health anxiety worse. Since the anxiety can be crippling, now the thought of even being in a doctor's office is impossible. I know this sounds ridiculous but I cannot get past this fear.

I am beginning therapy for my anxiety and the therapist knows about my severe medical phobia and says it is common. I hope she has solutions to help but I always have doubts.

This is a fear that is going to take time and I feel that many doctors do not have patience for people like me. I have these thoughts from seeing the medical professionals in my family.

Can a doctor or nurse make a house call for someone like me? Having any medical person near me is very traumatic but I feel if I were at least in my "comfort zone" would help me to begin to get over my fears. I specifically ask that to any Americans on here, since our policies are probably different than the UK. From what I see here in the US, it seems visiting doctors are very geriatrics.

I am so ashamed of this fear, but it is so real for me and I feel no doctors or nurses will understand this for a grown woman, but I need to get over it. Thank you for any help!

[pollyanna]

Mya, i have the same fear too, maybe mine is a littel less severe, because i can go to medical places, but not without getting myself in a terrible state first, and then if i am getting anything 'done' to me. that just takes it to a whole new level.
I was a nurse before i became unwell, which certainly doesnt help. and then i had a very traumatic experienc when giving birth to my son,( whose is almost 18)which has left me with symptoms of post traumatic stress, amongst other things, i dont know what the answer is, but i feel so stupid and ridiculous whenever i am put i this situation. I have a very good Gp is knows what i am like and is very understanding, and for that i am truely thankful. I also see a psyhcologist, we work on a lot of issues, and when the time is right will try and work through these issues, but i am just not there yet. I just wanted to ket you know that you are not alone in this, and i totally understand where you are coming from.
I hope you can get the help to overcome this.

Best wishes

P x

[melvin]

hi guys I'm the same as soon has a doc says some thing to me i go into a panic

[Mya]

Thank you for your replies and I am sad but happy to hear I am not alone! It is quite embarrasing, but I really don't care anymore about talking about it!

This is going to be a big phobia to succeed but I am willing to work on it. I just hope my therapist is able to help. I will let you know if I ever get over it and how you can too!

Pollyanna - I am sorry you had such a traumatic time with your pregnancy and birth. I have many friends that have experienced very similar situations and they have had many emotional issues since. This is another reason why I am very terrified of pregnancy, however, I want to have a child with my husband. It is a terrible situation for me right now and I am having a hard time making decisions about what to do. I find it ironic that you were a nurse and I think there are many that are connected to the medical community that have a lot of problems with this stuff. My good friends father is a doctor like mine and he has really bad issues regarding doctors too. However, I have another friend whose parents were doth physicians and she became a doctor with no problems. I guess we are all affected differently.

I think we are in such a health conscious environment where it makes things worse. My grandparents and great grandparents never went to the doctors because back then you only went if you were sick. They lived long lives. Today people go to the doctor for everything ( my father says it all the time). That isn't good either. We need to find a balance somehow!

I wish you guys luck in your fears as well and thanks for your help!

[peach]

hi mya,

as you know im in the same boat. i can get to the docs, but its very hard. the second last appoint i made, i went there, cancelled it and walked out..

i felt like such a failer, but there is no point being hard on myself about it. so i just made another one, and actually went. i told the doc tho i was only there to talk and no tests!!! although i ended up letting him take my blood pressure, so it was ok!

i think if you want to overcome this phobia you can. bit by bit. just try what you are comfortable with and also try not to think about it too much, as i find this is what makes something possible seem impossible....

your mind is your worst enemy. also, about the baby thing...my doc said that we only ever hear the horror stories, yet how many babys are born around the world each day? i used to think there were no good stories, but boy have i been proved wrong! my doc said 90% of women have great pregnancys and births.....also, what some women see as unbareable pain, others say is managable as its pain for a reason- to bring a baby into the world. so each womens pain threshold is different. you might even surprise yourself and be stronger then you think
also, its so safe to have a baby these days, scientifically its much more dangerous to be in a car then to have a baby!

so my moral of the story is, keep meeting docs untill you find a really good one who will be patient with you! there are many many people out there with our phobias! you deserve a special doc who can and wants to help you.
when youve found a good doc, just keep chatting to them untill you feel ready for whatever you want to do in life.....

[Mya]

Awww Peach you are such a sweetie. I love you!

Don't you feel like a failure at all for walking out of your appointment - I know people do this all the time. I know several people that cannot walk into an office like me without a Valium! You are FAR from being a failure!

You are right - the key is to find a doctor that cares and understands. That is the worse part! And yes, the mind is terrible! Since our minds are so strong on fear and negativity, why can't we switch it into a positive?

I agree, I think having a baby is safer than being in a car! It is a shame our society has to tell us so many negative things about it! Also those Birth shows are the worst! They put me into a frenzy where I shake and cry. I cannot believe we are so afraid of something natural. My grandmother had all her kids at home no problem. I hope if I do have a baby I can have a homebirth but I will probably worry about that too! I have to always have something to worry about!

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to us on here when you are so worried about your current situation. It shows you are the most selfless person and your baby is going to be a lucky kid to have you!

Hang in there sweetie, you are handling yourself beautifully. Please PM me anytime. Oh, by the way, those friends you told me about in your message to me - screw them. You don't need people like that in your life. I know how hard it is to be let down by people you think are friends. I think it is good you found out their true colors now - I know if I ever do have children, I will be very selective of having the right friends in my family's life. You are a stronger person than them and all that matters is you and your husband's happiness - not what they think.

XXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOO's

[pollyanna]

Hi Mya

im sorry, it must have made you horribly anxious reading about my traumatic experience with my sons birth, when you yourself would like a child but there are a lot of anxiety issues surrounding it, , i too have many friends who have had both good and bad experiences, without going into gory detail, although there was a specific incident during my delivery that was very traumatic, i think there would have been less trauma and drama, had it been explained to me what had actually happened, i only found it years later when speaking to someone about anxiety who just happened to be a midwife, what had probably happened, now had i known that at the time i think there would not have been the same severity attached to it for me, if that makes sense....

nowadays, i ask lots of questions.

Every pregnancy is different and you have to focus on the end result, that beautiful baby. having a baby is very safe for women these days, but i think as you say, its the medical emphasis on it that makes it scary, when in fact it is a very natural process..
All in all i felt well looked after, and everything turned out allright, but as i said it was one specific incident that was the real problem, and the fact i was a nurse with some knowledge was definately not a good thing, perhaps if i hadnt had that knowledge i would have been very unaware of what was really going on and just accepted it as part of the process, who knows, i cant turn the clock back now..

Also i have to say, i did have anxiety and had suffered from depression before i had my son, so it was very much in my genes.

Please dont let this fear put you off from having a family, it can be managed, and i am sure you would be very well looked after, , i suppose sometimes its the pressure of making a descion which is the really scarey part, i never had another child after this, but i did have an unplanned pregnancy 7 years after the birth, and i would have gone through with the pregnancy, in fact i changed my whole life around in my head to continue with the pregnancy, but sadly it wasnt to be and i miscarried at 10 weeks, but i think my point is, that i couldnt bring myself to make the decision myself, but i was very accepting of it when it happened naturally.
Perhaps if i hadnt had my son already, i could have gone on to plan a pregnancy, i would like to think so.

sending you a big hug and my best wishes


P x

[looking4answers]

The only cure is to bite the bullet as my wife says .. and face it head on. I am the sameway and had a massive the most massive panic attack I have ever had last time at the doctors.. We have four nurses that live around us and a E.R doctor surgeon that pass this way everyday..Im so paranoid I wouldn't even ask them anything. I have gotten that bad.. So take care good luck and hope you are better.. Michael

[Mya]

Wow! Thanks for all these replies!
Feel better am not alone but I think everyone suffers from this fear even those without anxiety!

Pollyanna-no worries about getting me more upset about pregnancy. Believe me, my issue began at age 6 when 2 horrific things happened to my mom during a pregnancy. I do not want to share on the forum because it will only instill fear unto others. My entire family was traumatized, so you can imagine what it did to a child at my age. My fear goes way back to childhood and personally I think the things from childhood are the hardest to get over. I have also had many many friends have very terrible things happen for them as well during their pregnancy and birth experiences. There are a few that had ok experiences but for the most, it wasn't too good and they did not persue having other children because of it. It is hard to tell if the things that happened to them were due to too much medical intervention or what. I, like you, know too much about things that can go wrong, due to my mom and having so many relatives in the medical community. I really wish I was blind to it all and I would be better off. My husband and I are still on the fence if we even want kids. That is the hardest part right there sometimes. We really do not like the parenting styles in the US. Very different in a relatively short period of time from when we were younger. We are working with my therapist to sort through my anxiety and then will discuss the possibility of having children. My family has major anxiety issues and my husband's has alcoholics so we don't have the best "mental genes" if you know what I mean! We also have the best marriage and we fear it could be jeapordized with kids. So many of our friends have ended up near divorce or separation once kids arrived. We cannot use all this as examples and it drives us both mad after a while with the confusion. We both know though that it is not worth sacrificing my psychological well being if it would be too much for me. I am so affected hormonally it is not even funny so God only knows what the added pregnancy hormones would do. I am so sorry to hear you had a rough time during your baby experience, as well as the miscarriage you endured. Those situations are horrible and I cannot imagine the pain one feels from that. A friend is going through this now, lost the baby at 11 weeks, she had to have a D&C and was so upset. She is scared to try again. I really do not know how I would manage with my emotions. I wish you all the best and also on your decision of future children. I really appreciate your kind words and inspiration. I know God has a plan for all of us and one day I will understand why I am feeling this way.

Michael- I am so sorry you had such a rough time at your last visit. I know how scary it is and you are right, it is like we have to bite the bullet. I am afraid around my doctor relatives as well as neighbors who are nurses/doctors! I am always afraid they will find something wrong with me. I have been lucky in that I was taken care of by my dad for so long so I never went to the doctor! But he is older and we are moved away from my parents, plus I don't think it quite healthy to be examined by relatives if you know what I mean!

[looking4answers]

I got nervous today just thinking about my wife calling in my blood pressure readings.. and when she did..Im still nervous.. so I completely understand.. Michael