"snap out of it", "pull yourself together" ...

[lotus]

Hi

I was wondering how many of you have, at some point, been told to "just snap of it", to "pull yourself together", etc. by friends/family members/relatives who know about your problems with panic and anxiety?
How do you handle it, does it upset you, do you feel offended, how do you react when you're told something like that?

I seem to get pretty upset when I'm told to "just snap out of it" because I think that the people around me don't understand what I'm going through. They think that I'm weak, lazy, and looking for excuses for not living a normal life. Which is not true! I even doubt it that mental health professionals, psychologists, and psychiatrists understand what it's like to suffer with anxiety and panic ... The only people who truly understand it, are people who have gone through this, such as people on message forums like this one.

A couple of days ago my dad yelled at me and told me to just stop with all that anxiety because in his opinion, I don't have any "real problems" , just imaginary ones. The paradox is that no matter how irrational a certain problem seems to everybody, it can still be a huge issue for the person who has it. I know that he wants me to be OK, to be happy, to live a normal life, but he's "helping me" in a totally wrong way ... He threatened me that if I don't "pull myself together" real soon, he will kick me out of home, so that I can get a taste of what "real problems" are like.

[desperate]

Yeah my dad sometimes tells me to just get on with it....tbh it makes me feel sad and guilty most of the time but then i try and think he just wants me to do well and be ok so.......



Sarah

[Meg]

Hi,

I think we've all had this. My boyfriend did it once and never again...

He decided to learn about it instead ! He never did fully understand but he learnt enough do do and say the right thing whilst I needed him to..

This demonstrates a huge lack of knowledge on his and millions of others peoples part.

If hes interested and caring give him a copy of Claire weekes book that you have heavily hilighted. If hes not caring or interested then you have to learn to manage him and the situations to your best advantage whilst recovering.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[mazz]

hi lotus ,, yes ive been told it a few times . the trouble is with mental illness no one can see it , iam sure if you had a broken leg they would,nt tell you to hop , skip and jump ..... luv mazzx

[trac67]

Hi Lotus,

Telling someone with anxiety, panic or depression to snap out of it is one the the worst things they can hear.

If only it was that easy, none of us would be here now would we.

My ex used to say to me, pull yourself together, you don't do anything to help yourself, its comments like that, that dont do anything to help us, if people who have never suffered knew how hard every day can be when our anxiety is on a high, I think they would support us more and not make hurtful comments like that.

Don't let it get you down, things will start to get easier.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[eeyorelover]

Some in my family still do this. My sister especially thinks 'it's all in your head, just get over it and go on'. I really don't think that they realize the power the mind has and that panic can manifest itself thru physical symptoms that are so powerful that you can't just 'get over it'.
I tried for years to change my family's veiws with no success so I have just decided that they have no idea how hard it is and since they have never been thru it obviously can't understand it.
That's why this site is so valueable. Being around people who know what you are going thru really does help.

Sandy
(eeyorelover)

If the world didn't suck... we'd all fall off

[petegms]

my parents tend to understand, but they dont fully know what it is that is wrong. But my co-workers tell me whenever i am having a panick attack "aww come on chill out nothing is wrong" and of course if i could just "chill out" i would!!! Its horrible when people associate panick attacks as a excuse to get out of something, i would atucally love working if i didnt feel so horrible when i was doing it

[momof2]

Oh my goodness, do I ever know how this feels,
People, in their lack of knowledge, tend to think that you are just an anxious person who gets all upset over nothing. What they don't realize is that we are very strong, courageous people, not just weaklings who cannot control their actions.
If the shoe was ever on the other foot, they would certainly understand. I recently had a friend call to say, "I just had to call EMS to my home because I thought I was dying, they told me I was having a panic attack," she went on to say " I never knew what you were going through, this was the worst experience I've ever had, I truly thought I was going to die" I told her I was so sorry she would ever have to go through this but if she needed any advice I have become a self proclaimed expert on anxiety and panic disorder LOL!
I hope your dad comes around and realizes that even though "It's all in our head" our bodies feel the effects and that panic attacks are as real as any other illness. You are not alone!
Terri Lynn

[mum2four]

I know this feelin comment like this set of an instant panic attack for me. I get so defencive and things get out out control real fast it's just npot funny I end up shuting down so bad or running out so fast that i feel I cant go back anymore or see that person again.

I hate it so much. I wish I get over it.

[nomorepanic]

Alex did it to me once and then wondered why the phone went dead. He has never said it again.

Now he understands it more - that is all people need - some understanding and knowing what it is like.

We have to try and make them realise that we are not alone - coming on here may help do that if they would be prepared to read some of the info.

Nicola