Housebound with agoraphobia and terrified of visitors

[fishman65]

Hi Bluedaisy,I can fully sympathise with your situation.I'm not as bad as I was a few years back but there was a time when I would drink three cans of carlsberg special brew just to let in a workman or visitor.Either that or I'd not let hem in at all.If there was a friend calling I could usually let them in as long as I could tell them how I was feeling.And I certainly know that feeling of guilt at having to go to such drastic measures when we are dealing with friends or family we care about.Its good though that you have come to a decision,perhaps this will ease your mind and you might not have such a traumatic time when you come to entertain your friend.

Take care now, Fishy

[cupcakes2009]

Hi ive just seen your post, it was like something i would have written a few years back. I use to sit and cry at the thought of my husbands mum and Brother coming for the afternoon on a Saturday or his dad and partener visiting as they would stay all day, now i can DO IT!! I use to have a panic attack, scry, scream anything to make the feelings go away, i use to beg my husband to ask them not to come, but he done the right thing and said come on there not going to hurt you, take your space away from you, if you wanted them to leave they would understand. He always said that if i wanted to get out at anytime i could, i could go into another room hard when its a small house, i could get to my bedroom and relax etc and now im fine and i can sit with them and chat and it feels great. I also have Agraphobia and could not go out, now i can, dont get me wrong i still have it i still have panic attacks the ful works but im so getting use to them and i will beat it if its the last thing i do on this earth!

Do you have any tablets to help? i was given Diazepam for when i was bad and they have saved me and calmed me down when i have needed them most.

Feel free to pm me at anytime if you fancy a chat

Katy xx

[bluedaisy]

Thanks for your replies

Well, I have bitten the bullet and my friend is actually coming for two nights and leaving in the evening of the third day. My o/h is able to be here the whole time which makes it easier, although still very difficult. I know I'll be panicky and find it hard, and may have to hide in my room to calm down a bit at times, but I'm telling myself that even if it's three days of panic hell, my friend is worth it and I want to spend time with her before she goes.

She arrives on Thursday evening, so please wish me luck. I hope my current bravery / determination to face it doesn't disintegrate the second she knocks at the door!

Katy - no diazepam as I a have a phobia of meds unfortunately. I completely relate to what you say - I have been similar recently with the crying and begging the o/h to cancel visits from friends and family etc. It's very hard to face having people here ... but this time I'm determined to try. I'm glad you're now able to have visitors and be out and about. Gives me hope when i read that other people have got through this!

[121149knitting]

Hi, I don't come on very much but did tonight and I can idetify all you have said. \The funny thing is I do want to have a chat with friends BUT recently my 2nd cousin came. She only stayed an hour...felt 3 days and I go through all thins like I get hotter and hotter, feel dizzy and try to tell myself I won't die. I was lucky as Tom was here and he is retired so its easy for him to be here but I have started to worry about when he dies... I am on my own then to do these things. Something has to change soon, I don't fancy being like this forever. I am rambling ..sorry. Sandrax

[pjb]

hey blue daisy,
so how did th visit go?

ps i have agoraphobia too and have trouble when people come over. for me, i found that i get panicky if i'm anticipating their arrival and do better when people just pop in. but am usually panicky the first 15-20 minutes, and try to find something to distract myself with or focus on during that time, like doodling, playing the guitar, keeping my hands busy while still being in the midst of conversation. after that initial period, i usually calm down and relax kinda like the hurricane has just blown over me. If i run and hide or excuse myself, it only gets worse. the easiest way was to just face the situation, go through the minor sensations rather than fleeing the scene, being frustrated, and closer to a full blown panic attack.
I did go through a period when I couldn't have people over at all or even talking to people on the phone got me panicky. That has passed, and I'm a little better, but it's usually a 50/50 chance if I'll feel comfortable with someone coming over. It helps to have other people in the room that can take over the conversation.
But I totally feel you. I'm having a similar situation myself. My boyfreinds' siblings are visiting this month & will stay about a week and I just don't know how I'm going to deal with it. We have a very small place, so they'll be sleeping on the couch.
It might be a little easier to deal with though as they both have suffered from anxiety attacks and know that I do too. And they're younger and cool people, so might end up having fun, but still am a little freaked out about it.