I wanted to start a thread about this because it’s not something we seem to discuss much here.
I have suffered with anger problems for many years and I think that it’s one of the major factors in anxiety and depression. I think that a lot of us have problems with confrontation. You know, emotions all over the place, thoughts running wild in our heads ... what the other person may say and what we should say and the outcome etc. I think that fear lies at the heart of anxiety and depression and that fear creates a sense of insecurity. Perhaps that very insecurity – whatever it may be about – creates our anger. It’s like the insecurity with the jealous and possessive girlfriend/boyfriend. And there’s always anger involved with jealousy.
Bottling up your anger is no good for your health in my experience. There comes a point where you just explode and the anger’s been multiplied by a hundred times. I’ve had times in my life when I’ve repressed the anger so much that I’ve made myself physically ill. I don’t know to be sure, but it could have started off my depression and anxiety.
Then there are those people that get angry and have to express it. One minute they’re OK and something happens and they just flip. Maybe this is better than the person that keeps things bottled up but these people also have their problems in relationships with others.
So where’s the middle road? Obviously everyone can lose their temper but I think that a lot of people with depression and anxiety have major problems expressing their anger. Personally, I’ve found it difficult to find this balance. Maybe in some ways we’re more sensitive to hurts, slights etc. Maybe we take things far too personally. There could be a million reasons, but all this causes anger in us that has to be released somehow. If my anger isn’t released I find my depression starts up. This eventually creates anxiety too.
So anger can turn inwards as self-hate, depression/anxiety etc (and probably physical illness in the end) or outwards towards others and the world.
Perhaps I should start punching my pillow again...