blip again, wish it would stop!

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

Thursday morning, I went to see my gp, I let her know how I was feeling, and I let her know about my personal problem, I'm being referred for an mamogram. to make sure that everything is alright. I also let her know that I have not heard from the cpn yet and not heard from the hospital for an appointment to see a different physchiatrist. I go to see my gp next week.

after my appointment, I went and did some exercises with my friend, then later we went and had lunch. then I started to remember some more of my horrible past, I started to go around the shops buys some stuff.

Now at home, and I'm very tired.

got a busy day tomorrow, got my womens group, we going to be there all day as we are preparing for International Women's Day, then I have my dad's washing to do.

let you know how I get on tomorrow.

Yvonne

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

Friday morning, at womens group we created the posters and the invitations, helped decorate the bags, then we stopped for lunch, then continued to help decorate the bags. these bags will have free goodies in them. I offered to make some swiss bread, and put a square of chocolate in the middle, that way its becomes a sweet bread pudding.

My dad phoned me, asked me to go round to his and go to the shops for him, I went to the shops then went to my dad's, then when the time came to do his washing went and did his washing.

after my dad's washing, I made his dinner, then we watch tv together, watch a few movies together, I had an overwhelming feeling of self harming, though I had the needle in my hand, I managed to put it away and not do anything. I stayed the night with my dad.

Saturday morning, I heard my dad coughing, I got up and went into his bedroom to check that he was alright. he was alright time I got to his bedroom. I went to the kitchen to make my dad his breakfast, after breakfast I washed the dishes, then I got ready to go home.

Now at home, I am waiting on my children getting ready were going to the movies, I will let you know what movie we go and see, I can not remember the name of it.

hopefully I will be able to stay focus with the movie, I usually only stay focus for the first 30mins.

Let you know how things go.

Yvonne

[martbarr]

Hi,

Friday morning, at womens group we created the posters and the invitations, helped decorate the bags, then we stopped for lunch, then continued to help decorate the bags. these bags will have free goodies in them. I offered to make some swiss bread, and put a square of chocolate in the middle, that way its becomes a sweet bread pudding.

My dad phoned me, asked me to go round to his and go to the shops for him, I went to the shops then went to my dad's, then when the time came to do his washing went and did his washing.

after my dad's washing, I made his dinner, then we watch tv together, watch a few movies together, I had an overwhelming feeling of self harming, though I had the needle in my hand, I managed to put it away and not do anything. I stayed the night with my dad.

Saturday morning, I heard my dad coughing, I got up and went into his bedroom to check that he was alright. he was alright time I got to his bedroom. I went to the kitchen to make my dad his breakfast, after breakfast I washed the dishes, then I got ready to go home.

Now at home, I am waiting on my children getting ready were going to the movies, I will let you know what movie we go and see, I can not remember the name of it.

hopefully I will be able to stay focus with the movie, I usually only stay focus for the first 30mins.

Let you know how things go.

Yvonne

Crikey you're busy - dunno how you do it all !

You've just reminded me that we've not been to the pics for ages.
Must look at the flic list in the local paper.

See ya later
Mart

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

back from the movies, we went to see Percy Jackson and the Lighting theif, very good and worth going, I managed to watch it all, even though I was loosing interest in watching it, I think it was much better than any harry potter film.

well on the way to the movies I kept remembering my horrible past, it's like reliving the night mare, even though it's not happening.

going to church tomorrow, then going to my dads and staying over to Monday as my dad has an appointment at the hospital for 8.am. plus he also has another appointment in the afternoon, going to see the dr at the hospital about his cancer. my dad starting to get pain, I hope it does not get too bad, if it does, then he will have to get radio therpy, this will cause him to be in a wheelchair. I hope to God this does not happen soon.

Yvonne

[yvonne_uk_98]

Crikey you're busy - dunno how you do it all !

You've just reminded me that we've not been to the pics for ages.
Must look at the flic list in the local paper.

See ya later
Mart

Hi Martin,

Yes I keep myself very busy, this is to stop me from being very negative, If I didnt keep busy I would be o/d or self harming, I still get the overwhelming feeling and go through the stages of it all.

though sometimes when busy this does not stop the negativity thinking, just got to keep it under control. lot of hard work to keep it up.

it's finding the balance so that I do not end up burntout. last time I was in hospital I ended up burnout with going to college and learning to accept that my dad's illness, when I started college a year ago, on the day I started was the day I got told about my dad's illness, and it took up to Christmas for it to sink in, then I had a very bad wobble.

I'm still learning to cope with it and keep busy, and keep a balance, sometimes I go over the balance.

now my dad's cancer is starting to cause him pain, I know I could not cope with going to my dad's every day, as at the begining of his illness he had radio therpy, which caused his care needs for every day, I couldnt cope with it all, it was too much, I ended up in hospital again.

I'm not looking forward to my dad getting radio therpy again. cause this time round he will be in a wheelchair for life, and his life will get worse. horrible, hope it will not happen for a long time.

Yvonne

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

Sunday morning, I slept in for church, I stayed at home, my teenage kids went to church. I went back to sleep, I was very tired this morning. going to get ready and take some sleep over clothes with me, going to stay the night with my dad, he has and early appointment at the hospital at the audiogy department, and later on in the afternoon he has an appointment. I have my driving lesson late morning, I will not be going with my dad to his next appointment at the hospital. my dad been telling me about the consultant he sees at the hospital, she is very strict with him and she wants to tell his daughters off for going to the shops when requested to buy him his cigarettes. I do not want her to be as strict as she is being with my dad to me, it would be too much. it's bad enough trying to cope with my dad and the way he is. life is stressful enough without his dr at the hospital going to hassle me about my dad's smoking, it's up to him, not a lot I can do. to prevent him from driving on his own, I do what he requests like going to shop for his cigarettes.

she does not know my dad. I'm scared of him.

I will let you know how my driving lesson goes tomorrow, and its my shopping day, aqua areobics evening. A busy day tomorrow.

Yvonne

[martbarr]

Hi,

Sunday morning, I slept in for church, I stayed at home, my teenage kids went to church. I went back to sleep, I was very tired this morning. going to get ready and take some sleep over clothes with me, going to stay the night with my dad, he has and early appointment at the hospital at the audiogy department, and later on in the afternoon he has an appointment. I have my driving lesson late morning, I will not be going with my dad to his next appointment at the hospital. my dad been telling me about the consultant he sees at the hospital, she is very strict with him and she wants to tell his daughters off for going to the shops when requested to buy him his cigarettes. I do not want her to be as strict as she is being with my dad to me, it would be too much. it's bad enough trying to cope with my dad and the way he is. life is stressful enough without his dr at the hospital going to hassle me about my dad's smoking, it's up to him, not a lot I can do. to prevent him from driving on his own, I do what he requests like going to shop for his cigarettes.

she does not know my dad. I'm scared of him.

I will let you know how my driving lesson goes tomorrow, and its my shopping day, aqua areobics evening. A busy day tomorrow.

Yvonne

Hi Yvonne

You're still doing loads I see!
You have my sympathy re your Dad - it sounds quite tricky to know what to do.

All these things you do would be enough to grind most people into the ground. So very well done for keeping your head above water.

Although I don't think I'd enjoy aqua aerobics to be honest!
Is that where you do aerobics but stand in water ?
Guess it is!
The only reason you'd get me doing that is so I could hide my tummy under the water!

Martin

[yvonne_uk_98]

[QUOTE=martbarr;621600]Hi Yvonne

You're still doing loads I see!
You have my sympathy re your Dad - it sounds quite tricky to know what to do.

All these things you do would be enough to grind most people into the ground. So very well done for keeping your head above water.

Although I don't think I'd enjoy aqua aerobics to be honest!
Is that where you do aerobics but stand in water ?
Guess it is!
The only reason you'd get me doing that is so I could hide my tummy under the water!

Hi Martin,

Thank you for your support and encouraging words. Yes I'm still doing loads, I do understand that most people would not be able to cope with the amount that I do., I used to do more than this, I had to drop a lot to get it to what I do now.

Yes aqua areobics is in the water. it's good fun and get your muscles toned up at the same time..

Yvonne

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

Monday morning, woke up at 7am, went into my dad's bedroom to check that he was wakened. He was up though not ready. I went and made breakfast, when my dad got ready we went to the hospital. the nurse at the hospital put putty moulds into my dad's ears when it was set she removed it, and told my dad that she would see him in three weeks time.

I pushed my dad in his wheelchair to his car. then we went to his house, I let my dad know that the ambulance would be there to pick him up shortly as his next appointment was at 12.30pm. that I would phone him after my driving lesson.

at 11.30am this morning I went for my driving lesson, my lesson this time, I was more calmer, relaxed, no panic attacks, no nervous, I had a good day and driving lesson. I managed to get score of 4 = test standard for my 3 point turn and reverse parking. Felt good to get that score, though I have that score for most of my driving, junctions, traffic lights etc...

I have another driving lesson on Thursday after noon. I will let you know how that goes.

tomorrow, got my counselling session, before it I have an website update meeting, then after counselling, I'm going to do my shopping, then I have rehearsals in the evening.

let you know how tomorrow goes, I'm suppose to have a photo with me for tomorrow. maybe I can print one off, and take it wth me.

Yvonne

[martbarr]

I was more calmer, relaxed, no panic attacks, no nervous, I had a good day and driving lesson.

This is great news.
I'm pleased your day and lesson went so well.
Martin