One step forward - one step back!

[deon]

Hi there

I recently made myself bankrupt.. The morning running up to the hearing was a nightmare, anything that could go wrong did go wrong.. and then some. Naturally I was highly anxious and spent the hour before the adjudication, sitting bolt upright in the waiting room, eyes closed, breathing, my mind focused on my breathing.

I must have looked like a nutter!

At the end of the adjudication I realised that not only had my anticipation of the process been much worse than the reality, but that I had forstalled a panic attack by focusing on my breathing.
I mentally congratulated myself, and immediately felt a flush of warmth and wellbeing from my self congratulations!

Then I was contacted by the official reciever and the uncertainty returns, what will they take, will they make it impossible for me to work? Once again the anticipation of the unknown returns and my panic attacks are back with a vengeance.

One step forward, one step back - and Im not sure I can cope without drugs over xmas! Im off for some peppermint tea and some meditation, but Ive learnt that a little self congratulation for those small successes made the effort worthwhile

One day at a time
Deon

[Jimpy]

One step forward but only half a step back Deon, you learned that running up to the hearing you can to some extent control the onslaught of a Panic Attack. Maybe not everytime right now but the more these uncertanties in your life are sorted out the inner strength you showed will come good. I would say that you are moving foward! No doubt about it, hope you manage to have a good christmas despite the circumstances,

Jim