Hi all,
I haven't visited this site in awhile. I still have anxiety but it's been relatively manageable for the most part.
Unfortunately, I have a new element to my anxiety disorder.
A quick bit of background: I'm 32 years old, married for 6 and a half years. No kids yet. I've had anxiety, panic and agoraphobia to varying degrees for 7 and a half years. I'm a working professional and no one would guess I had anxiety to the level that I do unless I told them. I have HUGE health anxiety and my heart has been the focus for years. I have had bouts for weeks to months where I can't leave the house or only can with much difficulty though I haven't had that severe agoraphobia in over a year.
Since July I have been working full-time. I am finding this very difficult as I seem to need a lot of downtime and get easily stressed. I am an RN though the job I am working in currently is not all that stressful, it's just time consuming. My husband does not do much around the house - he has his own business and is also very busy. For the past year and a half I have felt very unsure about my feelings for my husband. He is a wonderful man and I do love him but I can't seem to feel it - if that makes any sense! I have zero interest in sex (likely in part due to prozac). It seems the further I pull away the more my husband sucks up. We have very different interests but similar life goals. We met when I was 19 and he was 21 and we are from different countries so we maintained a long distance relationship at a very young age.
When we married I had major doubts but I was in the throws of my disorder and since I had won this lavish wedding I thought it must be fate and I needed to go through with it. Don't get me wrong, my husband is an amazing guy and everybody loves him.
Anyways, to get to my point, I have started becoming extremely anxious whenever he is around. So anxious that my heart feels like it will explode. I think it's because I have had many thoughts of splitting up because we just aren't really a great match. I have no bad feelings towards him but I just feel I'd be better off alone. There is no other guy in the picture. I am ok when I am not with him but I just can't stand being near him anymore and that is through no fault of his! I wish this would stop. I don't know why or how he's become the object of my anxiety!!
Has anyone else experienced this? Can anyone give me some insight. I even called in sick for work today because I felt so sick with my anxiety and these feelings and I couldn't sleep. I don't know what to do. I am consumed with thoughts of splitting up but I know I would never find a man as good and genuine as he is.
Please reply- thanks!
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