I am crap at relationships, help please x

[NoPoet]

Sorry cathy, you know how highly I think of you but I can't talk right now, I am seriously developing a hatred of the opposite sex and I need to be alone

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Ok, I totally understand....

You know where I am if you need me

Dont be a stranger for too long huh?

[nomorepanic]

Sorry - I never read the original post before it was edited.

Thanks for explaining that Suzy Sue.

[NoPoet]

just maybe it has everything to do with how you come across and personality wise.

What makes you so perfect???

just admit you are miffed that no woman stays around for long with you and that the flaws may be very much with your character and not always with the woman

Is it any wonder that I am the way I am? I come here for support and I end up having to talk to MYSELF in a lot of my threads because people post offensive crap like those glowing character references, if they reply at all!

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Im sorry adam if I have offended you but I am on your side here. I was just trying to fight your corner that is all. But thats fine I will back off if you like.

[NoPoet]

Sorry, I deleted the reference to your post, that WAS a bit harsh of me.

[cathytink3rb3ll]

Just take care of yourself yeah...

[suzy-sue]

Nic, I felt that her original post was insulting. I'm not sure if you saw it, but is has been revised now, and it did come across as an attack on my personality - I think Suzy-Sue saw the original post as well, the one where I was accuased of seeing myself as "a God" and how she was "fed up" of reading my posts on the subject of relationships.

That's hardly constructive... how many people have I actually been harsh with on NMP? If someone doesn't like my posts, they can simply avoid my threads.

I find that when I vent my feelings about the opposite sex, I get shouted down and it causes a big debate, one reason why I rarely broach this subject... but what am I supposed to do, suffer for the rest of my life because I'm afraid to make a stand? If THAT was my attitude, I'd still be a shivering, anxious wreck.


Is that an attack on me? I never edited my post, and so far, nobody has offered me any help whatsoever from the post I made earlier today.

NO IT CERTAINLY WASNT .POET . Poppy edited her post ...Nic didnt read it .The original post by Poppy seemed like a personality assasination on you ,refering to you being some god ..it came across as rude and nasty ....Perhaps she would appreciate people being more frank towards her next time she needs help ?...I dont see why people reply if they cannot offer the help thats needed ,.Any one that knows you would know you are genuinely trying to find help with these issues .There are also a couple of other male members that spring to mind who have had the same sort of difficulties with women .I hope they reply as i think you could all help each other .Low self esteem is bad enough in every day life .but with regards to dating must be horrendous .Men are expected to do the running and the asking ,things are more difficult for men nowadays with these things ,Life was so more uncomplicated 20 years ago .A lot of young women act like men and dont even dress feminine ,It certainly cant be easy ...So please a little bit of empathy here ..It doesnt cost much to be supportive .No need for antagonistic comments .Its not necessary and only leads to more anxiety ...Sue

[NoPoet]

I think what I'll do from now on is not mention any of my women troubles to women, as it seems that I am never going to resolve these issues with female help :( I want to like women and be friends with them and have relationships with them, but I get kicked when I'm down as you can see from Poppy's extraordinarily inappropriate post.

Now nearly a dozen people are viewing my thread and I KNOW this is because it's turned into a flame war, not because people want to understand my points and help me out.

Why can't a man complain about the way he is treated by women? Men are NOT the only ones who can treat people like crap, I am NOT saying ALL women are either, just the ones I encounter, the ones who would rather blame my relationship woes entirely on ME when they have NO basis for this, as I have given a CLEAR explanation of the challenges I have had!

How many times must I be used or treated like an emotional punching bag before I turn on people?

[JaneC]

Poet,

I don't know you but have always thought you sounded like a likeable guy. I think there are good and bad women and good and bad men, doubt any sex is really worse or better than the other in general terms.

I've never replied to your posts about relationship issues because, being 48 and long married, my probs are of a different kind and I don't feel there is anything I can usefully say to help.

That doesn't mean I don't sympathise though. I know you are feeling bad right now but maybe you shouldn't throw the baby out with the bath water in nmp terms - a lot of people are trying to support you right now, as opposed to one who took issue with you.

Maybe take a break but hope you won't leave us for good.

All the very best