This is a difficult fear to describe. When I am ill I have a fear of evil. All manner of things can trigger it and sometimes I feel that I myself am the trigger. Even thinking about it can bring on the fear. It is rather like catatrophising that everything that I do or touch will go wrong but it is more than that it is almost a feeling of being possessed if I think too much about this other 'being' then it will take over and I will cease to exist and evil will prevail. In the past this fear has been wrapped up with serious world events, the IRA, that they were after me. It prevented me doing things and I would be terrified to travel on the tube, go to concerts on St Patricks Day in case I would be blown up. I had a very good friend who was irish and I thought he was out to get me. These days my fear has shrunk and my Christian faith is strong but the fear is still there. Sometimes I think that I have control over these events that in some way I'm making bad things happen. I have discussed this in therapy in the past and various theories have come up such as it stems from my own guilt, guilt about religion and about myself that I feel to blame for my own troubles, the worlds and everybody elses. I know that it isn't true yet sometimes when I am on my own I start to believe in it again. I know that Dr J (my psychiatrist) would be interested in all this and I'm not mad but I was wondering whether anybody else shared these thoughts?