do your family know?

[Slothette]

For me theres only a couple of people I told the whole lot to as I know they would understand. My dad wouldnt understand - he'd say youre an intelligent person, why do you think like that? He just doesnt get it.
I think the rest of my family just think I'm lazy. I havent put them right on it as it would be like talking to a brick wall.

[paulcooper02]

Thanks Ali, but I dug this hole and its me who has to get out of it, thats just how I feel, I dont need my mum calling me everyday and yeah after what i did I feel guilty and that guilt is hard to cope with, f ing hard in fact. but it is me who has brought on shame to my family and it is me who caused my gf to finish with me and now its down to me to get better

[unspoken]

Paul, I think your mum probably calls you every day because she was shocked by you trying to kill yourself and doesn't want to lose you, maybe she feels guilty like if she'd contacted you more before she might have stopped you trying to take your own life. She needs reassurance, perhaps you could arrange a system to contact her and let her know everything's fine without having lots of long phone calls and awkward silences. I hope you manage to work through things and deal with the guilt.

Most of my close friends know that I suffer from anxiety. They are all fairly understanding but some are more comfortable talking about it than others. My boyfriend knows, he suffers from low self esteem and depression and tried to kill himself a while back. We actually met through a university counselling group. So we are very open about these things. When I worked, I told my boss about it because she was friendly and understanding, but I never told any of my colleagues.

My sister knows about my anxiety. She suffers from ME and fibromyalgia and has also been diagnosed with bipolar depression. She's on antidepressants. My parents are in their 60s and they do not believe in mental illness really. Recently they were talking about my mum's cousin's children, who all seem to have suffered breakdowns, but they refer to it as though it is weakness and something that doesn't happen to people like them. My mum was depressed herself a while back, crying and isolating herself, but she claims it was due to vitamin deficiencies or something. My dad is highly suspicious of any kind of treatment for anything which doesn't involve conventional drugs ie. hypnotherapy, counselling, homeopathy. Like other people have mentioned, my parents are both very prone to stress themselves and they manage to magnify each other's stress, but they would never admit that they might suffer from anxieties. To them, mental illness describes homicidal psychopaths who should be locked away permanently, and everyone else is just weak really.

I didn't tell my parents about the anxiety until recently, when I just couldn't bring myself to go to work any more. I told my mother that I have anxiety and depression and I have seen counsellors and lots of GPs and tried various different drugs for it. I felt like they were making some kind of effort to understand. However after a few days they expected me to be getting better and treated me more like I had the flu than a proper illness. I feel guilty because my sister is unable to work because of her illness and my parents have told me that they worry about how to provide for her. So I guess I'll have to get my act together and get a job. But for the moment I am coping by doing nothing.

[Alicat]

Paul,

No man is an island and you don't 'have' to cope on your own. Sometimes you need the support of other people to be able to help you think differently or give you ideas of how to manage things.

I also tried to kill myself nearly three years ago so I understand the guilt. There's not one day I don't feel ashamed but putting pressure on yourself to do everything yourself can just make you feel worse. I'm disabled and sometimes beat myself up about having to ask for help, but then who can do everything themselves. Anyway, you need to do what you think is right but I think Unspoken is right about how your mum feels. I know talking is hard though.

[magpie girl]

My whole family know i suffer and it was a relief to tell them all.I find it much easier and i dont have to make excuses or avoid things.Not all my family understood,they just thought OH HER NERVES ARE FUNNY,so i gave them all leaflets and asked if they had questions.I have to say my brothers children aged 18,15, are brilliant,they ring to see how my days been,offer to go places with me ect.. I have since found out 4 auntys 2 uncles have sufferd anxiety and 2 have had breakdowns!!!!!!!! oh and 1 aunty who discoverd it was anxiety she was suffering for 6 years after i gave her the info.

[summersmum]

my family all know and are very supportive as they are dealing with anxiety as well.. although my partners knows but isnt very understanding of it.. i dont really talk to him about it because i dont get any feed back xx

[mummy4]

wow its suprising how many of us actually do not tell our immediate family about our anxiety problem!

our holiday is only 6 weeks away now!!!!

thing is, if i were to tell my mum, how the hell would i go about it and where would i start?? x

[amanda*43]

Hi
I think one of the main reasons, I joined this site was to be able to talk to others. I am keeping my current problems a secret from my family which is a real strain. I am worried about worrying them! and I feel like a failure, For some reason I feel really guilty which is stupid, Not one of us would chose to be like this would we.
Best wishes